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What Does it Mean to Hold Someone Accountable (Accountability Coach Tips)

Definition of accountability

You have my word…

Such a sweet statement laced with a powerful meaning that holds the promise of something important.

Say, for example, “You have my word that by the time you reach the end of this article, you will have gained an insight into what does it mean to hold someone accountable.”

But what do mere words convey? Four uttered words that are expected to serve as an assurance that I, or anyone who has ever said them for that matter, will deliver what I committed myself to.

Does saying this opening statement make someone, anyone immediately dependable?


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As it turns out, this very statement is closely linked to accountability (if not accountability itself). We will not, however, limit accountability to the usual “taking the blame for something that went wrong.”


Communication, expectation, and capability play a role in accountability. Accountability doesn’t solely fall on one person’s lap. You also get to influence how things will play out — you, the other person, and the communication between the both of you.


There’s much more to holding someone accountable than just the “responsibility to an outcome.” This article will then serve the purpose of unraveling some of the intricacies of what it means to hold someone accountable (some of which we often miss) and, hopefully, help us all make more sense of the subject at hand.

P.S. I’d like to think that someone earns the credibility of being dependable only after that person holds up their end of the bargain.

A Working System: Communication, Expectation, and Capability

Person 1 (Expectation) and Person 2 (Capability) holding puzzle pieces together (Communication), what does it mean to hold someone accountable

Much of the conflicts that arise between people are rooted in communication — the inadequacy, misinterpretation, or lack of it. Addressing each of these is, therefore, crucial if you want to hold another person accountable.

Let’s discuss these three areas through an example. Take a person who has a drug addiction, for instance. They commit to a particular task by agreeing to enter a rehab treatment facility. Doing the work is them following through. Coming out of the rehab clean shows their dependability.

But before any of that happens, there must be clear communication between the patient and the doctor. Expectations by both parties need to be laid out. What’s the end goal here? It’s to move forward in life after the addiction, right?


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The conversation must include how to achieve that outcome and what parameters must be met to know that the whole ordeal is a success. Doing this is an excellent way to ensure that both patient and doctor are on the same page.

After establishing expectations, the capability to follow through with the plan needs to be questioned. What will the patient need in order to overcome the addiction? These may include self-discipline, desire to get better, and other personal abilities. What, then, if the patient lacks any of those “resources” from time to time? 

Obviously, delegating the task of “getting better” can’t be passed on to another person (which is the case for other situations). When this happens, it would be wise to maintain an unwavering support system and summon a lot of patience until the patient has regained the strength to proceed.

The gist?

Communication, expectation, and capability play a role in accountability. Accountability doesn’t solely fall on one person’s lap. You also get to influence how things will play out — you, the other person, and the communication between the both of you.

Accountability Coaching

People discussing plans in front of whiteboard, what does it mean to hold someone accountable

The working system of communication, expectation, and capability is also highly evident when you participate in life coaching. While seeking the help of an accountability coach will focus more on personal accountability, you still get to work on how to hold other people accountable.

Doing this is crucial, especially if you are a leader managing several people. It is said that a mark of a great leader lies in their ability to look within first. You might find that there are aspects that are not as efficient as you think. In turn, those traits of yours make it difficult to hold others accountable. Leaving them unchecked and as they are may be a reason why you’re not as successful as you want to be.

Enlisting the help of an accountability coach can help you rectify that, which will result in a more productive team and a better leader in you.


Regarding another as a responsible agent comes with “reactive attitudes” that include love, affection, sympathy, disappointment, disapproval, and other positive or negative feelings. We then hold others responsible whenever we respond to their actions, be it in approval or rebukes.


Sanctioning Behaviors: Blame and Praise 

Person looking at sign with 'condemn' on the right direction and 'praise' on the left, what does it mean to hold someone accountable

Now that we’ve discussed the working system of accountability, let’s move on to a more complex (but interesting) part of this article.


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One point that the study entitled Holding others responsiblemakes is that the practices observed in holding other people responsible are key to how norms operate in our world.

Moral standards, moral obligations, moral right, and wrong…

Regarding another as a responsible agent comes with “reactive attitudes” that include love, affection, sympathy, disappointment, disapproval, and other positive or negative feelings. We then hold others responsible whenever we respond to their actions, be it in approval or rebukes.

You respond in kind to good acts, don’t you? That’s praise. And you express disapproval for wrongdoings. That’s the counterpart, blame. According to theorist R. Jay Wallace, accountability is the blame or praise response (whether it is expressed or not) for many people.

Each and every one of us has our individual set of ideals, opinions, and morals. What one person views as right or just may not be applicable to another.  

Justification Out of What: Influencing Factors in Holding Others Accountable

Moral dilemma sign, what does it mean to hold someone accountable

What then dictates if something is worthy of blame or praise? As much as I want to tell you that there is one general truth for every person, I can’t because there isn’t one. Each and every one of us has our individual set of ideals, opinions, and morals. What one person views as right or just may not be applicable to another.  

You might argue that some social norms and laws are in place for us to follow. But that’s just it. Seemingly, they are only guidance for humans to follow. Some people deliberately don’t abide by them. It is up to one’s personal views on which ones to follow or turn their back on.

Anyway, before I get lost in an entirely different topic (and start a tirade on our collective faults as human beings), let’s further discuss the reactive attitudes starting with the positive ones.

There is just no denying how we feel love for our relatives and close friends. We sometimes give leeway to them because of personal bonds. You must admit that even up to the point of justifying deeds that are questionable to an outsider’s eye. There goes holding them accountable because we wear favors and biases on our sleeves so openly.

On the other hand, we have hurtful (verbal or physical) tendencies when another person acts in a way that doesn’t align with what we believe in. On top of the differing perspectives, the level or deepness of the relationships also plays a part. How much we hold someone dear may also influence how or whether we hold them accountable.


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But you also must not forget that the accountability you hold others to applies to yourself as well. It would be utter hypocrisy if you didn’t. Holding yourself accountable for your actions must also be something you observe.

Enforcing Punishment: The Third Sanction

Punish spelled out among many letters, what does it mean to hold someone accountable

The term punishment can induce an uncomfortable feeling. After all, when we say punishment, it’s to impose or experience rough treatment.

But let’s view punishments from a different angle. As a matter of fact, I’ll just call it ‘P’ in this article to steer clear of overly negative associations.

While Wallace’s ideas make sense, there’s still much to consider. Simply blaming or praising another may not be enough to hold them accountable. This insufficiency is even greater if the sanction is unexpressed. We need to communicate a goal, the means to achieve it, and the conditions for success.

Shareable Asset Idea: Infographic of the 5 goals of punishment

Giving P must have the goal of getting people to (1) acknowledge their faults, (2) be remorseful if the situation calls for it, (3) be genuinely apologetic, (4) make amends by righting their actions or lack thereof, and (5) ensure to do what they committed themselves to in the future.

And yes, most often, achieving a goal is (and only effectively) done by enforcing burdensome penalties (aka P). Be that as it may, full success is only attainable if the person at fault observes all of the aforementioned five. A partial success is also highly possible in the form of making amends but without regret or in a mere insincere apology.

There is also the fact that you can hold other people accountable even before they act. Anticipation is key here. Let’s use the person with the addiction as an example for this one as well.

You know by now that this person has a drug addiction. So, you need to be on the lookout when, say, the both of you attend a party that happens to have drugs. If this person is on the verge of smoking a joint, you might hurriedly flick the paraphernalia out of their fingers and drag them away from the source.

In this case, holding them accountable is not done after the wrongdoing but even before. Simply put, anticipation goes hand in hand with prevention. You know that they previously suffered from an addiction problem, so you anticipated what they might do when exposed to drugs.

Going back to P, a rational one for the person with addiction would be to ban them from attending any parties at all (with the presence of drugs or not). It would also be wise to limit their interactions with other people who dabble in drugs, even if they only do it casually. These P doesn’t sound so bad, right?


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With all that said, maybe it would just be better to reword “punishment” into something more pleasant so as not to frighten people away. How about “consequences”?

Will this do? Every one of us must face the music one way or another.

The Bottom Line

It all just depends, really…

Will it bring you satisfaction if I tell you that that statement is how I see accountability, is what this whole article is about? Can you live with that? If not, then you can always enlist the help of an accountability coach to help you better understand how to hold someone you know accountable. 

Stickmen with question marks overhead, what does it mean to hold someone accountable

It seems like I’m leaving you with more questions rather than a one true-to-all answer. You must admit, though, that there are so many thoughts (and yes, by that, I mean questions) to be entertained from here on out. Sticking to a single explanation would be very limiting and confusing. Besides, the important thing is that you hold people accountable with a clear end goal in mind and effective communication throughout.  

All things considered, I’m quite certain that you have formed your own perception of what does it mean to hold someone accountable.

The final question I have for you now is this, what is it to you then? 

P.S. How did I fare in my commitment to delivering this article? Did I hold my end of the bargain? Did you? If you reached this portion, then you did. We both did?

What does it mean to hold someone accountable?


If you want to get more from your life, and are looking for concrete action steps to get you there, check out our Request a Coach page. It’s a “cut the fence-sitting and take action” way to tackle your issues and actually find success. You’ll be matched with the coaches most suited to you to get you from where you are to where you want to be. To get off the fence and start to take action, click or tap here.



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