Four Things that do not Improve Self-Esteem

Not all strategies have same result.

Many strategies exist for building self-esteem; some of these work and some don’t. Some of the strategies that people employ for improving self-esteem actually end up hindering self-worth in the long run. The following are four things that many people think are indicators of great self-esteem, but in actual fact are just the opposite.

1.) Seeing yourself as better than others.

Comparing yourself to others is never a good way to build self-esteem, but it is even worse when you try to build yourself up by looking down at other people. Not only is this not a fun, positive way to see others, but every time the people you look down on get ahead or succeed, it may eat away at your false self-confidence. If these people ever become wildly successful, the negative self-esteem you built up could end up dashed entirely as they will suddenly seem much “better” than you.

2.) Building your self-worth through material objects

For many people, shopping is fun. It can be rewarding to get the newest gadget or the most fashionable accessory, but you shouldn’t tie your self-esteem into material objects. If the day comes when you can no longer afford these things, your finances may be strained and what you thought was self-esteem will end up decimated. Real self-esteem needs to come from inside you; if what makes you feel valuable can be stolen, sold, or physically damaged, what it makes you feel isn’t healthy or genuine.

3.) Basing your self-esteem on aesthetics

Lots of good looking people seem to have great self-esteem. For many of these attractive folks, their self-esteem is healthy, based on who they are and where they are going, but for others, they have all that confidence only because they look good. Good looks can disappear in the event of accident or illness, and they almost always fade with age. If all of your self-esteem building is based on your looks, you will surely find your self-worth dramatically lowered in the future. While you shouldn’t disdain your own attractive looks, find value in your non-physical features.

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4.) Creating self-esteem around your job or other role.

Some people are very proud of themselves based on their career or other position, and there really is nothing wrong with that. There is, however, something wrong with basing your self-esteem and how you see yourself in the world on this one single facet of who you are. When people make their job the be-all of their identity, and when they lose their job or have to retire, they don’t just feel like they lost their job, they feel like they lost themselves as well. If you build your self-confidence up around being a great mom, you may become abnormally depressed when your children grow up and move away.

Self-esteem needs to be based on many factors, and when the foundation is something external, you are setting yourself up for sadness.

Conclusion

These are only four things that many see as being or building self-esteem that actually end up leading to lower self-worth. As mentioned, true self-confidence is something internal; it is also something that is respectful of not only yourself, but of others as well. If improving self-esteem [three tips for improving your self-esteem] is your goal, be sure that you focus on real, internal changes to create lasting feelings of greater self-worth.

If you want to get more from your life, and are looking for concrete action steps to get you there, check out our Request a Coach page. It’s a “cut the fence-sitting and take action” way to tackle your issues and actually find success. You’ll be matched with the coaches most suited to you to get you from where you are to where you want to be. To get off the fence and start to take action, click or tap here.