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Home > Relationship coaching > Games An Ex Plays When They Want You Back

Games An Ex Plays When They Want You Back

Navigating the Intricate Games of Exes: Insights from Coach Lee

In the realm of relationships and breakups, understanding the subtle games played by ex-partners can be both intriguing and challenging. Coach Lee, a seasoned expert in relationship dynamics, offers a comprehensive guide to interpreting these games in his insightful video. This article delves into the nuances of these games, offering a deeper understanding for those grappling with the complexities of post-breakup interactions.

1. The Friendship Ploy

One common tactic employed by exes is the offer of friendship. This often occurs a few weeks post-breakup, a period when distance and reflection have set in. Contrary to initial appearances, this is not always a straightforward offer. It’s a strategic move, born out of a mix of longing and uncertainty. The ex isn’t necessarily sure about wanting you back but is also apprehensive about the growing distance. This ambiguity is a significant sign, especially if it aligns with other behaviors or consistent contact.

2. Displaying Anger over Lack of Contact

A less frequent, yet notable game involves the ex showing resentment because you haven’t reached out post-breakup. This reaction can seem paradoxical since they initiated the breakup. However, it’s a manifestation of their expectations and assumptions being challenged. It’s a test to see if you are still emotionally invested in them.

3. The Jealousy Bait

Another manipulative strategy is what Coach Lee terms as the ‘jealousy bait.’ Here, an ex might intentionally display themselves with a new romantic interest to provoke a reaction from you. It’s a calculated move to boost their ego by making them feel more desirable and to gauge your interest level. In such cases, Coach Lee advises maintaining a composed demeanor, not reacting to such provocations.

4. Feigning Concern with ‘Are You Okay?’ Messages

An ex reaching out to check on your well-being might appear considerate at first glance. However, it could be a subtle game to trigger a response from you, reaffirming their importance in your life. It’s a tactic to coax you into showing continued interest or concern, thereby boosting their ego.

5. The Status of Belongings

Finally, a common game revolves around the status of personal belongings. An ex might create situations around retrieving or returning items as a pretext for maintaining contact or as a symbol of reluctance to fully let go. This hesitance can signify lingering feelings or an unwillingness to close the chapter completely.

Understanding and Responding to These Games

Navigating these games requires a blend of insight, patience, and emotional intelligence. Coach Lee emphasizes the importance of not responding in kind but maintaining a calm, collected demeanor. Showing strength and confidence to games an ex plays, without hostility or excessive eagerness, can be pivotal in these interactions.


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Moreover, Coach Lee advises against accepting the offer of friendship on face value. Instead, he suggests engaging with an ex-partner in a manner that maintains your dignity and self-respect. This involves not acting like a friend but still displaying polite, nonchalant behavior.

When faced with expressions of anger or concern from an ex, a casual and unbothered response is key. It demonstrates maturity and self-assuredness, qualities that are attractive and may even shift the dynamics of your interaction.

In the case of jealousy bait, the recommended approach is to not engage or show any visible reaction. This stoic response can be disarming and may even lead to a reconsideration of their tactics.

Finally, dealing with the issue of belongings should be handled with a pragmatic and unemotional approach. Demonstrating that you are moving on, irrespective of their actions, is essential.

Conclusion

Understanding the psychology behind an ex’s actions post-breakup is crucial in navigating these waters. Coach Lee’s insights offer a roadmap for dealing with these situations effectively. It’s about striking a balance between showing self-respect and not falling prey to manipulative games. By maintaining a composed and confident demeanor, one can navigate these complex emotional terrains with dignity and grace.

Also see on Life Coach Hub: How To Move On After A Breakup – Even If You’re Still In Love


If you want to get more from your life, and are looking for concrete action steps to get you there, check out our Request a Coach page. It’s a “cut the fence-sitting and take action” way to tackle your issues and actually find success. To get off the fence and start to take action, click or tap here.


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