What NLP is Really About: How To Re-Write Your Story With Open Acceptance

Discover NLP as a practical, science-backed method for aligning your thoughts (neuro), words (linguistic), and behaviours (programming) with the life you want to create. But not your ego self. Your Higher Self (heart). The difference is self-love. 

Use the Open Acceptance Method as a way to apply NLP to transform your relationships by moving out of the detail and into the big picture. Practice consistently for more flow, ease and momentum in daily life.

Tired of Being Busy & Stressed?

It’s 7am and you’ve been up for hours already juggling school lunches, emails, your team, and the family to-do list.

The day has barely started, but the overwhelm is real.

You love your life, your family, and your work, but some days it feels like you’re barely treading water.

It wasn’t always like this, though, was it?

In the Beginning

There was a time—before you were seven years old—when life was lighter.

Your conscious mind hadn’t yet developed; you played, laughed, and followed your heart with curiosity and joy. 

Life was a game. 

You didn’t question whether you or what you did was “enough,” nor did you feel the need to control anything.

You were free to be you. 

But somewhere along the way, that changed.

The Grown-Up Life

As you grew up, that carefree curiosity began to fade. 

You took on the programming of the world—responsibilities, rules, and beliefs—that tricked you into believing life was no longer a happy game. 

Instead, you were told it was about effort, control, and responsibility. 

And now, here you are: busy, stressed and tired, wondering why everything feels so hard.

I’ve been there. 

And I’m here to share something that has radically changed not just my life but the lives of so many others. It’s called Neuro-Linguistic Programming—or NLP.

NLP is Not a Mind Hack—It’s Science

NLP isn’t a mind trick or a hack. 

It’s a practical, science-backed method for aligning your thoughts (neuro), words (linguistic), and behaviours (programming) with the life you want to create.

At its core, NLP teaches you the language of the subconscious mind and helps you better use it in accordance with the universal laws that govern—well, everything. 

Think of it like having the right tools to identify and re-program the outdated ‘software’ subconsciously running your thoughts, decisions and actions. 

“De-frag” the outdated ‘stuff’ slowing your whole system down. 

Are Your Values Even Yours?

Here’s the thing: Most of the values and beliefs you hold—even defend—were not consciously chosen by you.

They were taken on by your subconscious mind during your formative years when you had no conscious filter between you and the outside world.

The problem is, most of this programming—the thoughts, habits, behaviours, beliefs, and patterns that run your subconscious mind today—don’t come from a place of love.

They come from a place of fear. 

And according to the laws of the subconscious mind, you automatically get more of that which you focus on.

The Subconscious Mind: Your Loyal Servant

Your subconscious mind is like a loyal servant—always working to serve you. It knows no difference between you and me. It simply gives you more and more of exactly what you think and say.

It works 24/7 to process information, manage habits, regulate emotions, and even keep your body healthy.

There’s a catch: your subconscious mind doesn’t challenge your thoughts or beliefs. It simply follows them. 

This means, until you challenge them, you’ll unconsciously recreate the same events, circumstances, and relationships that reflect these unloving agreements back to you. 

It’s a universal law. 

Fear-Agreements: The Root of the Problem

Have you ever stopped to wonder why certain beliefs seem so hard to shake? That’s because beneath the surface are unconscious agreements that shape how you see yourself and the world.

The real issue isn’t that you were programmed by fear—it’s that you were programmed by fear and never questioned it.

Every one of us has inherited fear-based programming from the world around us. It’s like a thumbprint into our human DNA. 

These narratives are stories that sound like:

• “I have to work hard to prove my worth.”
• “I must control everything, or it will fall apart.”
• “If I’m not perfect, I’ll let people down.”

Remember, you didn’t consciously choose these beliefs; rather, they’re agreements you made to keep you safe, and then forgot. 

Fortunately, the universal laws of the mind mean your unconscious thoughts are reflected back to you by the world. When you pause and look, you’ll always find another side.

It’s like a map. 

Love-Agreements: The Un-Doing

On the other side of fear is love.

But in the world of duality there are two kinds of love—

• “Love” of this world (which is conditional)
• and Unconditional Love (love not of this world)  

The truth is unconditional love can have no opposite—but this not our experience of love in the world of duality. And its certainly not the kind of love we’ve been programmed with.

It’s fear disguised as love. 

Conditional love requires you to give something to get it. You are not ‘enough’ as you are and therefore you are undeserving of love. You subconsciously believe you have to do something to get it.

But the laws of unconditional love don’t work this way. 

More like the opposite way. 

This requires you stop doing and having so much, in order to be it, first.

Stop and read that again. 

NLP helps you to take a step back and to see this big picture, by remembering your inner curiosity for life. 

Getting curious is where your work begins. 

It Starts With An Attitude of Curiosity

Above all NLP is an attitude of curiosity. 

It’s a way of thinking in the big picture that helps you to discern between these two kinds of love. 

With the tools to un-do your unconscious conditions—agreements with fear.

The quality of questions you ask, determines the quality of life you live. 

Here are some quality questions you can ask yourself:

“Have I done this before?”

“Am I still doing it?”

“Have I accepted it?”

“What can I learn from this?”

This inner attitude of curiosity helps you flow with life. 

Letting go of what you think you know (or want) increases your flexibility, and opens you up to clearer guidance and new outcomes, that are 100% in alignment with unconditional love.

From this higher perspective, it’s a whole lot easier to practice acceptance and trust the flow of life. 

Note: Everything changes all the time, so staying in this flow is not a one time decision. It’s a practice—in listening and flexibility (with resilience); it’s a choice you make every moment of every day.

The Power of Awareness

The hardest part of any problem solving, including personal transformation—isn’t the change—it’s the awareness of what needs to change.

Most of us operate on autopilot, fiercely defending our fear based beliefs, habits, and behaviours that we didn’t even consciously choose.

Adopting this attitude of curiosity about your life helps you begin to cultivate a sense of self-awareness and begin to see the patterns of unconscious agreements that block you from experiencing yourself as unconditional love now.

To pause. Breathe. 

And un-do them.  

Un-Doing is Being

Personal transformation, mental health and self-love are not so much about doing anything— 

Rather they’re about un-doing. 

Undoing of the unconscious fear agreements—the beliefs, thoughts, habits and patterns keeping you stuck in the details of the past (or future) and out of the flow of life happening now. 

From fear, to being Love. 

How? 

By Doing Less. And Being More. 

The mental attitude of curiosity that NLP is really about is not so much about doing anything as it is about being—yourself. 

This means, remembering be unconditionally loving— 

First, to yourself (your inner child). 

And then (because you have it), to the world around you—by bringing more loving awareness into everything you do. 

Be The Change

“If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. We need not wait to see what others do.” ~ Gandhi

Being the change you want to experience in the world, and make an impact in a significant and meaningful way.

This is how you lead yourself with love, and extend it into your relationships—with your partner, kids, staff, clients and friends. 

Although, I know, that’s a whole lot easier said than done. But I can share, that your courage only lasts as long as you keep it and above all else, this work is about the experience. 

“One of my clients realised that her need for control at work was rooted in an old agreement: ‘If I don’t do everything myself, I’ll fail.’ When she applied NLP and Open Acceptance, she saw this story wasn’t hers—it was something she learned as a child. By rewriting it, she let go of the stress and built a stronger team dynamic at work.”

The Open Acceptance Method

When we have a story about something, we create a resistance to it, which blocks us from experiencing the wholeness of life. Open Acceptance comes from my personal practice of coming into vibrational alignment with life. 

When things happened that I didn’t like (which happened a lot), I applied every NLP tool I knew of to help me let go of my judgement and open my heart.

Over 15 years I’ve applied this practice, which today has evolved into a method that call OAM—the Open Acceptance Method is a way of aligning yourself (vibrationally) with unconditional love. 

Unconditional Love is the thing we all unconsciously seek. But the cosmic joke is its what we are. 

There is nothing you need to be, do or have in order to experience unconditional love. 

But as long as you hold outdated thoughts, beliefs, values, behaviours and habits, you and the people around you will continue to suffer.  

The good news is there is always another side. OAM gives you a personal map to see your non-acceptance and undo your unconscious blocks.

Applying OAM 

Applying OAM means you accept 100% responsibility for yourself by getting curious about your inner resistance and unconscious fear. 

We always start by stopping because as I said, this is an un-doing, not a doing. Remembering to make the time and space to get out of the detail and look at the big picture is super important; you cannot listen to your inner guidance if you are always busy.

Make space for yourself. I always tell my clients to walk, breathe, drink water and get curious.

Start at the End. Re-Write Your Story. 

Remember: life is a game. 

We all have that childlike curiosity, flexibility and joy within us. With NLP and Open Acceptance, you have the tools to rewrite your story. Not because you know anything new (you probably don’t). But because you remember it by experiencing it. 

The work of authentic self-leadership is certainly not a walk in the park. It requires great courage, honesty and real life experience to constantly bring awareness to your fear, and choose against it. 

Life is not going to stop moving, changing and challenging you. But you can get good at listening to your guidance, and aligning with the flow.

After all, love is your destiny, why wouldn’t you choose it now?

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Are you ready to experience yourself as unconditional love? Let’s work together—book a free “game plan call” with me today.

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What’s a story you’re ready to re-write today?

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Bonus Content: Reprogram your subconscious mind for more self-love and awareness by watching this video everyday for 30 days. 

Much love, 

Renier Jooste

Open Acceptance Method (OAM) Founder, Certified Master NLP & Hypnotherapy Practitioner, Firewalking & Breathwork Instructor, Strategic Intervention Specialist, Body Language & Micro-Expression Expert, Human Behaviour Specialist, Core Human Needs Therapy Practitioner and Reiki Level 2 Practitioner

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