The Love Story You’ve Been Sold Is a Lie—Here’s the Truth

(… And Why Love the Day After Valentine’s Feels… Off)

Discover why the love you think you know and want in the world is not love at all, but a commercialised idea of fear disguised as love. Uncover why this “special love story” is never quite good enough and why it falls short of your expectations almost 100% of the time, causing a great deal of loss, pain and suffering. 

Learn how to undo the blocks to the awareness of unconditional love hidden within your subconscious mind by applying NLP with the Open Acceptance Method to change the story of love you tell yourself—to finally experience the wholeness of Unconditional Love, that is the real you, and is always enough. 

Establish a practice of Open Acceptance to increase your level of energy, love and abundance by accepting life as it is, to live in alignment with the universal truth of who we all are, all of the time. 

Did You Know, Love Is a Story We Tell Ourselves?

In the world of duality, love is a story we tell ourselves based on an idea of how we think it should be. 

But it wasn’t always like this—

Romantic or courtly love was an idea, born in the books of poets and martyrs like Saint Valentine that have become popular in the modern age (hello Valentine’s Day) thanks to the printing press and popular culture that followed. 

But this is not real love. 

It is an idea of love—an agreement with safety and security and a transitory feeling like butterflies in your stomach, that has nothing to do with real love, which is unconditional and of God.

What Love is Not

Love as most of us “know” it is based on a story of what we think we want and how we think we want it. 

The greatest part of human suffering is the story we tell ourselves. An unconscious agreement about how it should make us feel, look, sound and of course, what we can get. 

A story, based on our fears, preferences and projections—attachments, judgements, wants and desires from the past or future—not the present.

This “special love” is not love. Rather fear disguised as love. Like a mirage, it becomes an ever illusive, unsatisfied search for more. 

Real love is an unchanging state of being present with what is. 

It has no story. No form, no sound, taste or transitory feeling. It is unconditional. It is always enough. It gives and expects nothing in return. 

It simply is. 

Why Unconditional Love Matters Now

Everybody wants to be happy and feel love. But love is actually your choice, every second of every day. It is your natural state of being. 

This is a universal truth. 

And yet, we all go looking for love in precisely the same way, ”outside ourselves”. We go about life, lying to ourselves, pretending to be happy, when in reality we are not.

Have You Ever Asked Why?

In the 21st Century, in the information age, people have become lost. Anybody can know anything about everything outside themselves; this is what is valued. 

But hardly anyone knows anything about themselves and there is a very good reason for this: fear—or ego.  

The human condition is universal. We like to think we’re unique, but we all want the very thing we are and go out into the world looking for it…outside ourselves.

Meanwhile, ‘back at the ranch’, we are the very thing we are seeking: Unconditional Love. It is us. It was, all along. 

In learning the nature of the subconscious mind (thanks to NLP), you will remember this to be true. Not from your intellectual (conscious) mind, but from your real, whole, honest life experience, undoing the programming that has conditioned you in “special fear”. 

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP)

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) is a proven method for understanding how the thoughts (neurons), linguistics (words) and programs (stories) that run your subconscious mind shape how you think, feel and behave. 

It is a way to understand and align yourself with the universal laws that govern everything, to live on the cause (or quantum) side of these laws, rather than in opposition to them—as their effect (the physics).

*Read more about that here. 

The Subconscious Mind

Your subconscious mind is super powerful—400 million times more powerful than your conscious mind. It has access to the infinite power of Unconditional Love that is your core (or Higher Self). It loves you and wants to serve you and follows your clear commands perfectly, giving you more of exactly what you say. 

But there’s a catch: The subconscious mind takes everything personally—it knows no difference between you and me. 

• That’s why what you give to another you really give to yourself 
• And when you judge another, you really judge yourself 

That’s both good and bad news. It’s like having the keys to a Ferrari FS90 when you have no idea how to drive it. 

The Open Acceptance Method—OAM

The OAM Method is my personal (and professional) practice that teaches you how to handle your sports car. It helps you apply NLP like a map to live in alignment with these universal laws—not through information—but experience. 

It shows you how to open your heart and still your mind to accept responsibility for the stories you tell yourself, in each moment. 

It helps you to identify and change your subconscious agreements (stories) that are rooted in special love (fear), and how to create new, healthy agreements, rooted in whole, Unconditional Love.

In Duality Love is Upside Down

In the world of duality, what we “think” is love—is fear. And real unconditional love—is feared. 

This universal conundrum means you experience “special love” like an upside-down game, where nothing is ever enough.

This is because real love is unconditional, which is always enough and cannot have an opposite. It has no attachments. No preferences. No wants—it is whole, as it is.

But that is not how we know love in this world—

The Game of Love

In the world of duality, everything has an opposite. 

Think of your very powerful mind as having two distinctly different operating systems installed, as if part of a game in an infinite realm, divided into two opposite worlds (like yin and yang, black and white, love and fear): the Closed World and the Open World. 

In this game you are not just a player. You are the entire game: the creator, the master, the referee and the commentator. 

You are the writer of your destiny.

Each world functions under an opposite set of laws that show you (with your direct real-life experience) the two sides to the universal laws that govern you.

Hidden within your mind is the master code to decipher the patterns of these two worlds and free yourself from the self-inflicted chains of your hidden agreements with the Closed World (fear). 

The first step is to become aware of the game that conceals these two secretly opposing forces within you. 

That’s where the OAM Method gives you a map to be aware of when your heart is closed, or when you are in non-acceptance of life, as it is. 

The Closed World: Fear

The Closed World is a world of darkness that operates under the laws of limitation and fear. 

Governed by “not enough”, it is limited by external physics that operate within the realm of time and space. Like cause and effect. 

In this world, love is distorted into a fairy-tale fantasy that must have a villain: the ego. 

The Laws of the Closed World

1. ‘Love’ is not now
2. ‘Love’ is outside you
3. ‘Love’ is form (looks a certain way)
4. ‘Love’ is punishment
5. ‘Love’ is destruction

Luckily this game operates inside the realm of duality where everything has two sides.

The Open World: Unconditional Love

The Open World thrives under the Laws of Unconditional Love which are exactly opposite to the Closed Laws of Fear. 

Governed by what is unconditional, it is always enough as it is and it is totally unlimited by the physical world of time and space. 

The Laws of the Open World of Love

1. Love is now
2. Love is within you
3. Love is form-less
4. Love is freedom (as it is)
5. Love is creation

These laws are demonstrated by quantum physics and come from the domain of the limitless within you. 

This is the power of love: an intention that has a totally different result for the whole. 

The Internal Conflict

Both worlds seem to exist simultaneously. In truth, one simply casts a darkened shadow over the other, making it difficult to see it, especially in the busyness of life. 

But if you stop and breathe and look with honesty, you will see that Unconditional Love is always here. It is law. 

However, it can be difficult to see through the many conflicting stories programmed into your subconscious mind—thoughts, emotions, wants, desires, beliefs and behaviours—especially when your level of energy is low. 

These internal conflicts cause the mind to function sub-optimally and seem to hide the Unconditional Love that you are from your awareness. 

This kind of cognitive dissonance is a disconnection between your head and your heart. A trick of the ego, or condition which consistently drains your energy, keeping you stuck in the past (or future) giving you more of what you don’t want. 

Did you know depression is simply the result of a closed heart?

You chase fear thinking it’s love. This inner conflict keeps you stuck in a seemingly endless loop of pain and suffering, where nothing is ever enough—anxiety, depression, anger, hurt, guilt and shame are some of the emotional states that you become stuck in. 

After years of doing the same thing, this dysfunctional (albeit unconscious) habit ages you, causes you to suffer and eventually makes you sick, killing you before you’ve even lived.  

A New Dawn. A New Day.

Every day brings an opportunity for a new beginning. 

You have the opportunity every day, to wake up with a clean slate of energy and play the Game of Love to open your heart to the Unconditional Love that is within you, now. 

Similarly, as the sun sets, and nighttime falls, you again have an opportunity to slow down, let go, rest and restore your energy, to give yourself the best chance to love again tomorrow. 

Or not. 

If you choose not—holding on blocks your natural flow of energy, causing you to become stuck, superimposing yesterday’s stories and tomorrow’s fears over today. 

You Can Only Give What You’ve Got

In this world of duality you cannot give something if you don’t have it. This is as true for love and energy as is for a $100 bill. 

Remember the Game of Love? 

• Love is present 
• Fear is not 

Unconditional love is an inside out game. It comes first from within. If you do not accept responsibility to give it to yourself, you cannot give it at all. Nobody can do this for you.

If you’re stuck in a web of yesterday’s news—you simply have no ability to experience love now. 

Your Level of Energy 

Your level of energy is filled from within. 

If you do not accept responsibility to fill up your tank, over time, your state of disconnection causes you to “live” in a kind of energy deficit that depletes your energy and level of love.

Each time you attach to something, whether it’s something “good” or “bad”, your judgement puts a condition on love that “takes” from your energy tank.

Giving and Receiving Happen at the Same Time

When your tank is full you can extend your high level of energy, vitality and love, onto the world around you. 

But if it is empty, you can’t. 

If fear is all you’ve got, this is what you’ll project—because you’ve got nothing to give.

Authentic self-love is being aware of your own level of energy and giving yourself what you need (first) in each moment—without judgement or attachment. 

When you are not present and aware of your own level of energy, your level of love is depleted. 

Energy Deficit

When you are unaware of your level of energy, the emotional states of yourself and others can cause you to attach to stories of fear. This depletes your energy levels—quickly.

By not being present (with yourself), you allow yourself to get bumped around by different people in different environments throughout the day. 

Your very powerful sportscar loses control, essentially hijacked by the judgements and attachments you project over life happening now. You hide Unconditional Love from your awareness. 

And you crash—”Game Over”.

Tip: When you allow the time and space for you to give to yourself, you become more YOU and you receive even more energy, vitality and joy.

Begin Again

Intentionally Microdosing Life is the anchor we use at OAM to navigate our way through the constant changes and uncertainties of life (fear), by consistently bringing your awareness within.

Life will not stop demanding your attention. Your fear-based narratives and the negative emotional states that follow, will not stop coming. 

This is how life works.  

Becoming aware of your baseline energy and where you are in relation to it—is your responsibility. 

This is where intention can help a lot. 

Your Mind Cannot Not Create

Your super powerful mind cannot not create. That means every intention (conscious or not) has a result. 

By holding your intention consciously in your awareness, you accept responsibility for your very powerful mind, by giving your mind a clear command of what to focus on. 

This helps you be responsible for your attention. 

Like a map it shows you where you’re off track. It guides you to listen to yourself. It helps you keep your level of energy high, so you can make better choices, aligned with Unconditional Love. 

Accepting Responsibility For YOU

When you want something different from what is, it places a condition on love. This creates an inner resistance to the experience of life happening now, which closes your heart.

This inner judgement depletes your energy and hijacks your self-awareness, energy and love. 

Similarly, when you attach to what you like or want, this too is an attachment that depletes your energy.

Remember, everything changes all the time which means every experience—good or bad—will end. And every ending brings a new beginning. 

*Read more here.

Your level of acceptance (or non-acceptance) is how you accept responsibility for what is happening within you (as the cause), and hold yourself accountable to yourself, to increase your self-awareness and write a new story, aligned with Unconditional Love.

Not “special love”. 

What’s your level of acceptance? This is your personal map that shows you if you are building your energy or draining it. 

2 Types of Pain

In the world of duality there are 2 types of pain—

• The pain of discipline
• The pain of regret 

The question is, are you willing to practice the pain of discipline long enough to consistently choose Love over fear, and make it a habit? 

Your subconscious mind loves you and wants to serve you but it needs clear orders to follow. Where your attention goes, energy flows. 

Energy can flow into your experience of life, or it can flow into your resistance to the experience of life. 

Learn to preserve and cultivate your level of energy by being aware of where your attention goes. Practice the pain of discipline for long enough for your subconscious mind to take over that function and give you more of that—it is law.

A New Story

By consistently bringing your awareness back to yourself in the present, making micro-shifts in your attention, letting go of your attachment and resistance to what is, you can reprogram your subconscious mind from your old story with fear, to a new, healthy story with Unconditional Love—allowing each experience to be whole, as it is.

This is how you remain in your centre—your baseline—where you’re not super high or low, but in acceptance of what is—NOW.  

In each moment. 

A Time For YOU 

The reality is the world outside will always demand your attention. 

If you do not prioritise making time for you to go within, you will be bumped around by different people, in different environments, at different times. 

This will deplete your level of energy, and love. 

The cost to you is high. 

Everything you do now makes a difference in 90 days. 

By being consistent in your responsibility to be aware of yourself—in acceptance of life, making consistent micro-shifts in your awareness, you put yourself in a powerful position to build your internal level of energy, love and happiness—where life just flows. 

A Game of Remembering

Remember not to forget to be aware of the Game of Love within you—it is always at play. 

NLP and the OAM Method give you a map to help you decipher the code that keeps you stuck in an old story of “love” that brings pain and suffering—blind to the light your eyes cannot see. 

This is a method to become aware of and undo your subconscious programs by consistently choosing to hold yourself accountable to your Self as Love—and be on the cause side of life, rather than a victim to it. 

It is a practice that if you practise empowers your actions to demonstrate love to those around you—so you can lead with love, empower others and have fun while you’re doing it. 

Intentionally Microdosing Life is my 30-Day program to help anchor your awareness in Unconditional Love—and increase your level of energy, level of love and level of acceptance—within yourself. 

Remember: only you have the power to change your story.

Do you choose the pain of discipline?

Or the pain of regret?

It’s your story. 

Much love, 

Renier Jooste

Open Acceptance Method (OAM) Founder, Certified Master NLP & Hypnotherapy Practitioner, Firewalking & Breathwork Instructor, Strategic Intervention Specialist, Body Language & Micro-Expression Expert, Human Behaviour Specialist, Core Human Needs Therapy Practitioner and Reiki Level 2 Practitioner

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