Do You Question Yourself Too Much?

Do you question yourself too much? My daughter was playing indoor basketball with a cardboard box and a beach ball. She decided that the flaps on the box were prohibiting her from making her shots and got out the scissors to cut them off.  

Cutting thick cardboard with children’s scissors is a tough task. She asked me if I would help her. I told her to go get the heavy duty scissors from the kitchen.  

As I was getting ready to make the first cut, she snatched her beach ball out of the box. She didn’t want me to accidentally pop it with the scissors. I quickly responded, “Don’t you trust me?” She said nothing.

In our personal and business lives, it can be really easy to look at the reactions of others and relate them back to what they mean about us.  I know this because I used to do it all the time.

Do you take things too personally?

Have any of the following things happened to you:

• You proposed an idea at work and it was shot down.
• You met with some potential partners who told you it didn’t seem like a good fit.
• You followed up with a ton of leads and no one got back to you.
• You wrote a blog or held a teleseminar and there was a dismal amount of interaction.
• You left a position and no one even reached out to say goodbye.

If your natural tendency is to take things personally, any of these responses from others can be devastating. You begin to wonder.  

• What is wrong with me?  
• Why aren’t people drawn to me?  
• Why is it so hard for me to form new relationships?  
• Is my contribution even important?

Questioning yourself is the expression of self-doubt that gives way to internal torture. You can never gain any traction when you are constantly having to answer a barrage of questions about yourself – especially if the answers you seem to generate are demoralizing. The good news is that is it possible to break this pattern of thinking. I have.

Breaking the pattern

Moments after my daughter snatched the ball out of the box, I realized that her reaction wasn’t about her trusting me and my scissoring skills. It was just a smart thing to do. It was a simple precautionary plan. If the scissors happened to puncture her beach ball, her fun would be done.

You can begin thinking in more helpful ways too. Take the first step and contact me. When you get all of those questions out of your head, you can look at them more objectively and come up with different answers that will move you along.