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Home > Relationship coaching > What Makes Exes Come Back?

What Makes Exes Come Back?

What Makes An Ex Want To Revive Lost Love?

Reestablishing a connection with an ex is a nuanced and layered process, requiring a clear understanding of relationship dynamics.

Here are vital components that play a crucial role in the possibility of reigniting a past romance:

Elevating Attraction Levels: Fundamental to any reunion is the resurgence of mutual attraction. Typically, relationships dissolve when attraction diminishes.

High attraction can make you overlook many flaws and challenges. In contrast, when it fades, even small issues become deal-breakers.

This is especially true in long-distance relationships, where initial enthusiasm wanes as the reality of continuous effort and lack of physical proximity sets in.

Navigating the No Contact Phases: After a breakup, people usually undergo several emotional stages, especially when no direct contact is maintained.

These stages typically include feelings of initial relief, growing curiosity, mounting concern, and eventual desire for contact. The no contact rule helps in this progression, leading to a journey of self-realization and reflection.


If you want to get more from your life, and are looking for concrete action steps to get you there, check out our Request a Coach page. It’s a “cut the fence-sitting and take action” way to tackle your issues and actually find success. To get off the fence and start to take action, click or tap here.


Dissipating Defensive Barriers: A critical step towards potential reconciliation is the reduction of any defensive attitudes. When one continuously reaches out or insists on discussing the relationship post-breakup, it often results in the ex-partner becoming defensive.

Halting these attempts allows your ex to lower their guard, paving the way for a more balanced and rational perspective on the relationship.

Realization of Potential Loss: A pivotal moment in the reconciliation process is when your ex realizes the risk of permanently losing you. Initially, they may not be concerned about this, assuming they can always return.

However, as you demonstrate independence and strength by maintaining distance, they begin to fear losing you, which can be a powerful motivator for reconsideration.

Creating a Sense of Mystery: The absence of communication post-breakup instills a sense of mystery that often can be what makes exes come back. During the relationship, constant interaction was the norm, providing a deep sense of intimacy.

However, the breakup-induced silence fosters curiosity and intrigue, compelling your ex to reminisce about the positive aspects of your past relationship.

Addressing Long-Distance Relationship Hurdles: For those in long-distance relationships, specific strategies are necessary.

Demonstrating a willingness and a concrete plan to close the physical gap is crucial.


If you want to get more from your life, and are looking for concrete action steps to get you there, check out our Request a Coach page. It’s a “cut the fence-sitting and take action” way to tackle your issues and actually find success. To get off the fence and start to take action, click or tap here.


Moving beyond the indefinite ‘someday’ and setting a definitive timeline for being together physically can significantly influence your ex’s decision-making process.

Emphasizing Self-Improvement and Autonomy: Concentrating on personal development and self-reliance is crucial post-breakup.

This focus enhances your appeal and can indirectly influence your ex’s perception, making you more desirable in their eyes.

Understanding the Emotional Transition: Recognizing the emotional transition your ex undergoes after the breakup is key.

Each stage, from initial relief to eventual realization, has its importance.

Comprehending these stages aids in understanding their mindset, which is essential in formulating your approach.

Positive Communication Post-Breakup: Resuming communication should be handled with care.

Discussions should be constructive and focus on potential positive changes, steering clear of dwelling on past conflicts.


If you want to get more from your life, and are looking for concrete action steps to get you there, check out our Request a Coach page. It’s a “cut the fence-sitting and take action” way to tackle your issues and actually find success. To get off the fence and start to take action, click or tap here.


Leveraging Professional Advice: Sometimes, consulting with relationship experts can offer unique insights and strategies.

These professionals can help tailor approaches specific to your situation, enhancing the chances of a successful reunion.

In summary, rekindling a romance with an ex involves a delicate mix of emotional intelligence, strategic patience, and self-improvement.

Each relationship is unique, requiring a tailored approach to reconnection. It’s important to remember that while the goal may be reconciliation, personal growth and happiness should remain paramount.

ALSO SEE: How Do You Know If No Contact Is Working? here on Life Coach Hub!


If you want to get more from your life, and are looking for concrete action steps to get you there, check out our Request a Coach page. It’s a “cut the fence-sitting and take action” way to tackle your issues and actually find success. To get off the fence and start to take action, click or tap here.


Submitting your free consultation request is completely free with no obligation.

Submitting your free consultation request is completely free with no obligation.

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