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Home > Wellness coaching > The Top 6 Safe Coping Skills: Advice From a Life Coach

The Top 6 Safe Coping Skills: Advice From a Life Coach

Are you coping?

Myths and facts about coping skills

Myth – Coping means you have moved on and the experience no longer has any effect on you whatsoever.

Myth – You must experience some life-altering moment like the loss of a loved one, a tragic car accident, sexual, mental, or physical abuse to be “coping” with something.

Fact – Healthy coping is a choice that you make repeatedly until you can face the memory, the trigger, the situation without breaking down and turning to your poor coping mechanism.

Fact – We all face things EVERY SINGLE DAY that we must cope with, and poor coping mechanisms can lead to feeling stuck, overwhelmed, stressed, hopeless, alone, isolated, lonely, misunderstood, slighted by the world. The list of consequences of poor coping skills can go on and on.

Fact – Healthy coping can lead to enlightenment, learning, growing, and finding meaning in your suffering.


SEE ALSO: If you want to get more from your life, and are looking for concrete action steps to get you there, check out our Request a Coach page. It’s a “cut the fence-sitting and take action” way to tackle your issues and actually find success. You’ll be matched with the coaches most suited to you to get you from where you are to where you want to be. To get off the fence and start to take action, click or tap here.


Myths & Facts about coping skills

What is coping?


       Coping is what we do or think when we feel out of control of the situation.


Coping is defined as the behaviors or mindsets that we turn to when we experience a situation that disrupts our mental homeostasis. In other words, it’s what we do or think when we feel out of control of the situation.

From time to time, especially when your coping mechanisms trigger the reward center in your brain, you can become dependent on your coping mechanisms. For example, smoking, drinking, drugs, shopping, and overeating have the propensity to become an addiction. In these instances, it becomes even more urgent for you to find alternative coping mechanisms.

Woman in a shopping spree

It can be hard to know if your coping mechanisms are unhealthy. For a short while, any coping mechanism may feel like it is helping. However, unhealthy coping mechanisms often lead to health issues, relational issues, and financial issues.

Take a moment and reflect on what you have been using to cope with life. Does it leave you feeling fulfilled? Does it leave you feeling refreshed and calm? Are their negative side effects like a hangover or feelings of guilt and shame?

Healthy coping mechanisms should leave you feeling refreshed and calmed. Dealing with your emotions in a way that actually allows you to feel the negative emotion and expel it from your system is the path to healthy coping.

Did you know, a dog shakes as a way to expel emotions? Yes, after they feel a surge of emotion, they will shake. It is their way of working out the emotional energy. This is brilliant and we should take a note from our furry friends. In the proceeding sections we will discuss ways to cope well.

Dealing with your emotions in a way that allows you to feel the negative emotion and expel it from your system is the path to healthy coping. Teresa Mitchell Coaching Quote

Common causes of emotional disruption


At some point the problem and your reaction are so intertwined, you might find yourself asking, “Do I drink because I am depressed and anxious or am I depressed and anxious because I drink?”


Something that may have started out as a simple disruption to our daily lives may become a stressor at any point. For example, that guy that slammed on his brakes and made you miss the light, which then made you late for work, which resulted in your boss lecturing you, which led to another negative mark, which makes you need a drink because GOOD GOD, everything is falling apart.


SEE ALSO: If you want to get more from your life, and are looking for concrete action steps to get you there, check out our Request a Coach page. It’s a “cut the fence-sitting and take action” way to tackle your issues and actually find success. You’ll be matched with the coaches most suited to you to get you from where you are to where you want to be. To get off the fence and start to take action, click or tap here.


So, for the rest of the day all you can think about is that glass of whisky you will pour as soon as you get home. That glass turns into three, which turns in to five, and leads to a hangover in the morning. The hangover makes you super irritable and all you can think about is that glass of whisky you are going to pour as soon as you get home. See the never-ending cycle we are now on?

Angry man triggered by phone call

On the other hand, a coping trigger can be a phone call from your doctor with bad news. It can be the loss of a loved one. It can be deep rooted trauma that is activated without you even realizing it. The news or the awakened traumatic memories can flood into your psyche and overwhelm your ability to cope with the stress, thus causing you to turn to something to help you deal with the pain.

At some point the problem and your reaction are so intertwined, you might find yourself asking, “Do I drink because I am depressed and anxious or am I depressed and anxious because I drink?”

Coping well

As promised, here are some ideas for healthy coping that will allow you to feel the emotions without drowning them, and without shame and guilt.

  1. Get outside – Spending just 10 minutes outside can boost serotonin in the brain.
  2. Go for a walk/run – get the endorphins pumping and expel some of that negative energy
  3. Yoga or meditation
  4. Journaling – just start writing. Start by stating what you are feeling and then dig deep until you get to the root of why you are feeling this way
  5. Boxing – sometimes we just need to let the anger out. Its ok to be angry. Its not ok to bottle it up.
  6. Painting/Arts & Crafts – express your emotions creatively
6 healthy safe coping skills ideas

How to get help changing your coping mechanisms

  1. Take the first step and reach out to someone. Tell someone you have a problem that you need help solving.
  2. For substance use disorders or compulsions pertaining to other behaviors, your first step is to seek help from a medical professional or a licensed therapist. Never try to detox from a substance on your own! You can always go to the ER for help with this. Withdraws from some substances can be fatal. Always seek medical help.
  3. Life Coaches can help coach you through various alternatives to your unhealthy coping mechanisms. As a Healthy Coping Mechanism Coach, I specialize in this and would be happy to work with you!
  4. Talk to a therapist, psychologist, or other helping profession.

Remember friend, you are not alone

Always, 

Teresa Mitchell
MS, Recovery Coach, Life Coach

Dallas,Texas
Empowering you to discover the beautiful grace found in recovering your authentic self.
BS Community, Family, and Addiction Services
– MS Human Services Admin
Emerging Drug Trends

 
The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails. William Arthur Ward Coaching Quote


If you want to get more from your life, and are looking for concrete action steps to get you there, check out our Request a Coach page. It’s a “cut the fence-sitting and take action” way to tackle your issues and actually find success. You’ll be matched with the coaches most suited to you to get you from where you are to where you want to be. To get off the fence and start to take action, click or tap here.



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Submitting your free consultation request is completely free with no obligation.

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