Moving Past Anger

Anger is a sneaky emotion that can hold onto you with a vengeance. Experiencing this emotion is not uncommon but becomes very annoying when it doesn’t let go.

Big and small situations may arise that can frustrate us into oblivion.

• Things like bring rudely interrupted while having a conversation with your friend,
• hitting every red light on the way to work or
• something as intense as being betrayed by someone you love.

Each of these can irritate your blood pressure but is it really worth it? 

Reliving the frustration

How much we allow these happenings to affect us depends on the thoughts that we attach to them and how often we choose to relive the situation in our minds.

• If you immediately call your spouse to tell them about your horrible morning then your friend, co-worker, brother etc you very well could verbalize this experience 5-6 times before lunch without ever realizing the consequences.
• Taking something negative and telling your brain to keep it at the forefront and stay focused on it could have also gained an army of people that are going to ask you about it, maybe over and over again, give their two cents and share their problem that may be similar.

The ripple effect can be huge!

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There is a quote that says “When something bad happens you have 3 choices. You can either let it define you, let it destroy you, or let it strengthen you.” Two of these shouldn’t be options at all because we should never choose them but the fact is they are actually the most popular. Most people, including myself, have focused on the bad options and it baffles me.

Sure some of us need to be in the moment and complain, get it off our chest, but to stay in those is unnecessary and completely a choice. A victim mentality will never allow you, and maybe the others around you, to move past the anger or frustration. Is that doing anyone, including yourself, any kind of justice? Absolutely not.

Remember when you share stories it opens the door for others to ask it about it and possibly throw you back across the threshold of your bad experience over and over again. A lot of people love to hear drama because for some it solidifies that they are somehow better than others. I refer to it as the weak man]s confidence. 

Moving past anger

Here are some tips on moving past anger.

1. Don’t dwell on or overshare your negative Nancy story. If you choose to share it’s possible to relive it over and over again making it harder for you to move past it.
2. If you MUST share, do so with someone who will give you sound, logical advice and really wants to listen and be there for you, not the drama!
3. Find the positive in it or at least in another area of your life.
4. Remind yourself of how strong you really are and the things you have accomplished in your life. I believe each of us has an inner bad-ass that needs recognition.
5. Forgive, not for the other person, but for yourself.
6. Talk it out in a productive manner. Nothing is better than good communication.
7. Don’t allow even the smallest bad experience to manifest itself into something big.

Remember that anger is natural and I’m not saying to never allow yourself to be angry just don’t allow it to consume you or take away precious time that you will never be able to get back.

Stay Positive,
Adrianne

If you want to get more from your life, and are looking for concrete action steps to get you there, check out our Request a Coach page. It’s a “cut the fence-sitting and take action” way to tackle your issues and actually find success. You’ll be matched with the coaches most suited to you to get you from where you are to where you want to be. To get off the fence and start to take action, click or tap here.