Accepting Divorce – 6 Things To Do Right Now! (Tips from a Divorce Coach)

Working on yourself

Metamorphosis is a process of internal transformation. It takes commitment to do the work necessary to create change in our thoughts, perception, and attitudes.

We become aware of those qualities that serve us and those that don’t, resulting in a higher level of integrity . We accept that change is warranted because our lives have become unmanageable.

By taking action and doing the internal work, it enables us to become the person we want to be. It is through this process of aligning with living in accordance to our deepest values, that a life of deep meaning is created and an extraordinary life is realized.

 Metamorphosis by Graceful Separations is a newsletter dedicated to discussions about navigating life’s changes. 

Accepting changes

There is some change that we cannot control.

SEE ALSO: If you want to get more from your life, and are looking for concrete action steps to get you there, check out our Request a Coach page. It’s a “cut the fence-sitting and take action” way to tackle your issues and actually find success. You’ll be matched with the coaches most suited to you to get you from where you are to where you want to be. To get off the fence and start to take action, click or tap here.

Whether it is incited by you or whether it occurs organically, change is your ticket out of any situation or any place where you are unhappy or unfulfilled. We cannot control people, places or things and trying to do so often makes us crazy.

This is especially true in divorce. A crucial part of moving on from our marriage is self-development. Divorce isn’t the time to let your past be the be-all and end-all of ongoing personal development, in fact it is the beginning.

• It is a time to learn from our past, grow and evolve.
• It is a time to step into a new evolution of yourself and look at who you are and how you can live in an entirely different manner.

The process isn’t always easy, but if you allow it, it will be profound and life-changing.

At a time when you think you are drowning, you can learn to swim – I promise!

There is a chapter in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous on page 417 that states:

Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation – some fact of my life – unacceptable to me. I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.

The more “on-purpose” I live my life, the more I feel I embrace the changes going on around me.”

Divorce – 6 Things Daylene Suggests Doing Right Now

1. Face Facts – When I first realized it was no longer about HIM, was the day I took back my life! I asked myself “What do I want out of my life? Who was really holding me back?” I needed someone to blame but It wasn’t him, it was me. My part in the demise of our relationship was that I was waiting for him to change, to be the “man” I envisioned. I had to ask myself, “What am willing to change to create the life I want?” Ask yourself that question!
2. Be True to Yourself – Are you feeling doubtful, lonely, confused, or angry? Instead of suppressing those feelings and stuffing them deep down inside or reacting, take a moment to reflect on what makes you happiest? Is it a hobby you once loved? Have you wanted to try something new? Ask yourself what it was like to be the young version of you. Do you have a joyful memory of doing something fun? Remember her by bringing her into your awareness.
3. Don’t Give Up – Whether you are newly separated or divorced for years, don’t give up on creating the life you have always dreamed of having. It takes time to rewire what we have known and experienced in the relationship and time to accept our new circumstances.
4. Reach Out – Get outside of your own head. Stop mulling the story over and over again of what could have or should have been. Gather with like minded people. Know any other girlfriends who have gone through or going through something similar? Reach out and ask how they’re doing. I can tell you this WORKS and will get you out of the story loop!
5. Find Closure – My recommendation is to begin with forgiving yourself. Before we can truly give of our selves as a whole person, we must first forgive ourselves. We cannot experience the pure and serene state of love until we learn how to forgive ourselves and others. Write a letter from your future self a year from now. What are you experiencing, feeling, thinking a year from now? What measurable results have you manifested?
6. Embrace Change – It is essential for spiritual, physical, and emotional health and well-being. Change pushes us to become more evolved as humans. We are less likely to react to circumstances beyond our control and we become less rigid and more adaptable to situations. When we accept things and people as they are we experience more peace, which is great for our psyche.

If you want to get more from your life, and are looking for concrete action steps to get you there, check out our Request a Coach page. It’s a “cut the fence-sitting and take action” way to tackle your issues and actually find success. You’ll be matched with the coaches most suited to you to get you from where you are to where you want to be. To get off the fence and start to take action, click or tap here.