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Home > Relationship coaching > The Importance of Sexual Compatibility

The Importance of Sexual Compatibility

Learn to develop intimacy in your relationship

The importance of sexual compatibility to a relationship

For many couples, being compatible on a sexual level is essential towards maintaining a healthy relationship.

Sexual compatibility is based on understanding the similarities and differences that exist between couples that determine how well their intimacies and desires match together. It is also centered on the application of other values important to a relationship such as communication, trust, unconditional acceptance, and honesty. The combination of those foundational ideals is what needed to establish sexual compatibility that can intensify the relationship.

Sexual compatibility is the ability of both partners to understand each other’s intimate passions, desires and needs so they can achieve highly pleasurable sexual connection. It is also about the ability to adapt to the differences each has and being able to accept and use them as motivation in order to strengthen the sexual compatibility in the relationship.


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Compatibility starts by developing a level of comfort to talk openly about your sexual preferences with your partner. Being able to discuss each other’s fantasies and what can be done to encourage them can help build a compatible bond.

Dealing with sexual incompatibility

Usually, couples that are incompatible experience varying degrees of sexual frequency, variety, and emotional chemistry that adversely affect the level of interest towards intimacy. Couples can learn to work through their incompatibility issues if they are willing to deal with their differences so they can establish a stronger sexual relationship.

Some couples struggle with the imbalance of sexual frequency, when one person wants sex more than the other. By focusing on solidifying the feelings that promote intrigue and affection, it can help cultivate the sexual attraction with your partner and manage concerns surrounding the sex drive disparity.

If the quality of sex is more fulfilling, then the quantity of sexual encounters may be less of a factor. When there is an emotional disconnect, the sex can lose its spark so couples that work on fortifying the characteristics that make their sexual experiences so gratifying are more likely to sustain a lasting relationship. 

When it comes to sex, no couple will 100% compatible. If your sexual needs don’t coincide, it just means that you have differences in that area. Instead of being discouraged by those differences, it might be a good opportunity to talk about your desires with your partner.

Even if you share many commonalities with your partner, it is very possible for there to be some discrepancies, especially with sexual desires. The things that turn us on and off can change over the course of time together so the ability to communicate those changes in your sexual appetite is necessary to build and manage the compatibility in the relationship.



If you want to get more from your life, and are looking for concrete action steps to get you there, check out our Request a Coach page. It’s a “cut the fence-sitting and take action” way to tackle your issues and actually find success. You’ll be matched with the coaches most suited to you to get you from where you are to where you want to be. To get off the fence and start to take action, click or tap here.



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