How to Deal With Temper Tantrums

Never be embarrassed again by your child’s temper tantrums.

Temper tantrums are common in toddlers but when they start their screaming do you know the best thing to do? Would you like to know how to put an end to your toddlers temper tantrums for good? I go over the four important steps you should be taking each time your toddler decides to have a temper tantrum. 

1.  Ignore their behavior as much as you can and remain calm

Kids are just like us and will use mental methods to get what they want. These aren’t conscious strategies but learned strategies. These methods will turn into unconscious behaviors which will be triggered by their external events.

What this means, when it comes to your children, is that they learn very fast that there really are many advantages to acting a particular way. Your children learn that by screaming, kicking, crying and pouting they can get their parents into a negotiating state of mind. The more you give in to your child’s tantrum, the more reward your child is receiving for that behavior.

I know your child appears upset but it’s just a part of your child’s unconscious mental map which will become their automatic behavior if it’s reinforced.

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2.  Do not punish or even reward your child

If you do either of these things it will just be counterproductive. Bribing your child by saying you will give them something if they behave isn’t any different than you rewarding them for bad behavior. When you punish them you’re just making things worse because punishing your child is still giving them attention for their behavior. A lot of times attention, whether good or bad, will be seen as effective so they will keep repeating it.

Do your best to ignore the tantrum: keep doing what you were doing and make your child’s behavior have little to no impact. If it is utterly impossible to ignore their behavior, take them someplace where they are able to throw a tantrum while you stand by and calmly watch. When they are finished, you can talk with your child about what happened and be sure to reinforce the fact that the tantrum did them absolutely no good and then just continue on with your day.

3.  Teach your children alternatives to their temper tantrums

Once they have settled down, have a talk with them immediately after their tantrum while it is all still very fresh in their minds.

They had the temper tantrum because they felt frustrated or angry. Do not get into why they felt this way. Just focus on the temper tantrum and explain why that behavior is not appropriate. Then you can teach them another way of reacting when they are feeling frustrated or angry. You can do this with a child of any age.

4.  Do not let other people’s reactions affect how you respond to the temper tantrums

Your children know that they can get away with throwing a tantrum in public. There’s a lot of pressure on you as parent to bend to their bad behavior when you are in a public place.

Under these circumstances, the best thing you can do is count to one hundred and hold on.  Ignore your screaming child. Ignore all the looks and comments of others around you. Remain calm! Realize that all you can do right then is to keep reminding yourself that you’re doing the right thing and by standing strong you will be making your life much easier in the future.

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