How to Stop Your Children from Fighting

You need to start teaching your children about fighting early to avoid scenes like this one.

Do your children fight all the time?  Are you finding yourself overwhelmed by their constant arguing?  Would you like to know how you can get them to stop fighting and actually start getting along?  Your children can learn ways to get along with family members and you will have the happy and peaceful household you have always wanted.

Here are some tips for helping your children to get along better.

Teach your children empathy:

Teach them to think of other people’s feelings.  You can say for example, “What do you think Mike is feeling right now?”

Teach your children how to repair:

If your children hurt someone else, say, “Mike seems so sad.  What does Mike need right now to feel better?  Can you help in any way?”

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Teach your children cooperation and teamwork:

Say things like, “I bet if we work together we can get all this done really fast!” or “Oh my!  Look how quickly we all got the job done as a team!”

Don’t take sides:

When your children fight, never take sides.  Let’s say your children are arguing over what game to play with you.  You will then say, “When you have both decided which game we are going to play, come and let me know.”  This will keep you from taking sides and it will also teach your children how to be responsible in solving their own problems.

Schedule a lot of activities:

Children will tend to fight when they’re bored, so redirect their energy with positive activities.  Also, children will frequently fight when they watch too much TV.

Redirect the child who is always giving in:

A child who develops a pattern of always giving in will often end up with feelings of resentment, and will continue this pattern into their adult years. They will end up being a victim of life’s circumstances instead of chasing after the things they want in life.  You must redirect any child that gives in too often and teach them how they can assert themselves in a more positive manner.

Be creative:

Find creative ways in which to redirect the children’s fighting; for example, when the children start fighting turn up some music and start dancing like a crazy person.  This usually gets the attention off what they were fighting about and on you being crazy.  They will most likely join in and get rid of some of that energy.

Teach them to negotiate where everyone wins:

Teach them that when they both negotiate, they will both get what they need and want.

Reward them for cooperating:

Give your children a lot of positive reinforcement when you see that they are cooperating.  Let them know they are doing a great job by getting along with each other.  This tip is easy to forget but it is the most important.  Be sure to give your children attention when they are behaving like you want them to.

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Refrain from fighting yourself:

Your children will learn from you whether they learn to be peaceful or to fight.  Do not expect them not to fight if you are doing it all the time yourself.

Love your children for all they are worth:

Be sure to tell your children how much you love them every day and even more importantly, show them how much you love them.  Children that feel more emotionally connected with their parents are less likely to fight.

If you want to get more from your life, and are looking for concrete action steps to get you there, check out our Request a Coach page. It’s a “cut the fence-sitting and take action” way to tackle your issues and actually find success. You’ll be matched with the coaches most suited to you to get you from where you are to where you want to be. To get off the fence and start to take action, click or tap here.