What is a healthy relationship?

What does it take to be in a healthy relationship?

Why is it easy for a relationship to go sour?

What are the main aspects of a relationship to make it work, to make it last?

The Relationship Ballet

Long term relationships do not happen spontaneously, they need work.

It’s like two ballet dancers performing together. If they both work together, follow the routine and dance to the beat of the music, then the performance will flow and develop into something beautiful. On the other hand, if one person takes control and does their own thing, without working with their partner, the dance fails, the steps look messy and the inevitable outcome will be disaster.

What are the types of relationships we have?

Codependent Relationships

A codependent relationship is where both people in the relationship need each other so much, they lean on the other person as an emotional crutch. They need the other person to complete them, which will never  happen. No one can make you happy, this has to come from within.

A codependent relationship is not a healthy relationship, and will end in failure.

Maybe you’ve seen the movie Jerry Maguire? Where Renee Zellweger Says to Tom Cruise, ‘you complete me’. That was a beautiful scene wasn’t it? Well, this is codependency, and not good. You need to complete yourself.

Independent relationships

An independent relationship is where each of the people do their own thing and are not choreographing. An independent relationship is better than a codependent relationship, although it’s not the best.

There is a chance for the relationship to develop and for the two great dancers to work together and make something fabulous. Living life well and finding that true love, that synergistic relationship. If this is where you’re at in your relationship, then you need to work on yourself and develop the skills to work together.

Interdependent relationships

This is where you need to be. An interdependent relationship is the perfect relationship. This is where each person is independent, but they are able to work together, that are able to understand each other, to dance together, to bring that choreography together.

With the help of a coach they learn together and work towards the beautiful dance that, when performed, makes the crowd stand and clap for more. Or, find that they are so well suited and live life in that special way together.

How can you achieve a great relationship?

Here are some tips to achieving a great relationship:   

• You need to come from a place of abundance.
• Have friends, have a social circle.
• Be in a place where you can meet other people.
• You must be happy by yourself. Can you sit by yourself and be content?
• Learn to have a fulfilling life.
• Have good health, have good nutrition.
• Work on your limiting beliefs.

A quote I remember from a seminar given by Tony Robbins is, ‘People like people who are like themselves, or who are what they want to be’. So if you are in a bad place psychologically, then you will attract people with the same psychology. Be better, be the best you can be, improve yourself with personal development daily.

You can’t have a strong relationship if you’re very emotional, or if you get too angry or too depressed, this will lead to a failed relationship.

Don’t spend too much time together, have time when you do your own thing, where you have ‘me time’. If you were given the best steak every day, you would soon get sick of it, so too much of a good thing is also counterproductive to a great and long lasting relationship. It’s healthy to have breaks apart. It keeps the spark in the relationship.

Honesty and truthfulness has to be the fundamental basis for any relationship. Without this, don’t even bother. If you have skeletons in the closet, let them out, be open and totally truthful from the start. If your potential partner doesn’t like you for who you are and what you’ve done in the past and for being honest, then they’re not the one for you. Give the relationship a chance to have that strong foundation to build something wonderful and fulfilling.

By working on these points and others, you will find that your relationships will develop to amazing levels that you thought may never be possible previously.

Don’t forget, that all life development starts with yourself, work on you and the items in your life that are less than perfect, then life and people around you will get better and better until you get to that ultimate level of pure fulfilment and enlightenment.

Learn lots, take a lot of action, and live life to the fullest.