NLP Is the Map—Here’s How to Actually Use It to Change Your Life

What if this year could feel completely different?

In this article, we go beyond the theory of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and dive into what really creates transformation: application. Knowing about NLP won’t change your life—but experiencing it will. By shifting your subconscious patterns from fear to love and embracing curiosity as your guide, you can finally rewrite the stories that are keeping you stuck. Learn how to align with life’s natural flow, let go of outdated beliefs, and create a whole new way of living. Ready to stop reading about change and start living it? Let’s dive in.✨ Because the biggest transformation happens when you stop knowing and start doing.

In my last article, “What NLP is Really About”, we explored how Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) isn’t just a theory—it’s a powerful, practical method for reprogramming the subconscious mind. But there’s something deeper we must address: knowing about NLP is not the same as applying it, which can only be fully understood through experience.

Discover how to apply NLP to experience life with greater flow, freedom, and joy. Reprogram your subconscious mind by adopting an attitude of curiosity in your everyday life. Identify and change your fear-based beliefs to those aligned with unconditional love to finally re-write your story in 2025 and beyond. 

How to Experience Another Way in 2025

The holidays and new year can be a challenging time for most people. Family dynamics, relationships, financial and business pressure, school holidays and more can bring up a LOT more stress, anxiety, fear and depression than average daily life. 

But what if this year—it was different?

Discover NLP as an applied practice to turn the tables on the new year to gift yourself a whole new experience this 2025 and beyond.

Knowing is theoretical. Applying is experiential. The difference is transformational.

Even at a Master NLP level, the concepts are essentially meaningless and deliver limited benefits in your life because NLP is something that can only be fully understood by experiencing it. 

It’s the difference between reading about swimming and diving into the deep end.

Let me show you how this works.

A Game of Perception

You know how you grew up saying you would never be like your parents? Like a workaholic who never had time for the children—and then one day you realise you do the exact same thing.

That’s a simple universal law, and it goes much deeper than just with your parents. 

Let’s dive into the deep end: 

• Think about 10 qualities in 10 people you like—write them down.
• Now, think about 10 qualities in 10 people you don’t like—write those down too.

Now take a closer look at both lists. Be honest as you ask yourself, 

“Have I ever done this before?”

If you were honest—the answer is always yes. 

Perhaps not literally—you may not have murdered anyone—but if you look at it symbolically—you’ve “murdered” a relationship, right?

This is a fundamental principle in NLP—what you see in others is a reflection of something within yourself.

This is not something that means too much conceptually—but the experience changes everything.

An Attitude of Curiosity 

At its core, NLP is an inner attitude of curiosity. 

It’s a way of looking at everything in your life and questioning it—especially your judgments and unconscious behaviours—to identify your fear-based agreements and shift them into new agreements aligned with love.

This is a method for bringing yourself vibrationally in alignment with life—and where the real transformation is experienced.

Everything is Energy

Did you know the magnetic field of your heart can be measured more than 200 metres away from your body?

Everything is energy, which is connected and moves all the time. It vibrates.

• Lower vibrational states feel like heavy emotions—anxiety, fear, guilt, shame.
• Higher vibrational states feel light—joy, love, curiosity.

Unresolved negative emotions vibrate at lower frequencies, keeping you stuck in patterns that drain your energy and create resistance that feels blocked and affects everything on an energetic level. Over time they can even make you physically ill.

But there’s good news: energy is always changing. 

You can bring yourself into vibrational alignment with this law by accepting what is, which creates the space to experience another way. This experience is the difference between knowing and applying NLP.

It’s how you swim to the other side.

The Universal Laws at Work

In this world of duality, there are two sides to everything, including your experiences.

Through an inner practice of curiosity, NLP shows you and helps you move from the side governed by fear (in your head) to the side governed by love (in your heart).

This practice helps you take responsibility for yourself by identifying which side you’re on (fear or love), so you can turn your inner resistance, which is simply outdated, fear-based programming—around. This raises your vibration to live on the side governed by love, not fear. 

This is how you manifest a whole new you. 

Let’s look at how this principle is applied to three basic universal laws:

1. Cause and Effect

The law of cause and effect says every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Nothing is by chance. 

This means everything that happens in your life is a result of your thoughts, actions, and choices. 

You choose whether to:

—Be on the effect side: where life is happening to you

OR 

—Be on the cause side: where life is happening for you

Remember your subconscious mind? Your experience is filtered through your unique model of the world. In other words, the experiences you were programmed with determine which side of the equation you subconsciously choose to experience—by default.

Applying NLP brings your awareness to this fear-based programming, allowing you to identify and shift your default experience of the duality coin from the effect side to the cause side of life. 

This perception empowers you to transform how you view challenges and relationships, shifting obstacles into opportunities for growth, and empowering you to raise your vibration to experience life another way.

2. Perception is Projection

This law states that everything you see outside of yourself is a projection caused by your mind.

Go back to the list of 20 qualities you wrote down.

If you were honest, you noticed that at some point in your life, you’ve exhibited all those traits—both the ones you like and the ones you don’t like.

Being on the ‘cause side’ of this universal law means you let go of your resistance to life, by taking full responsibility for your perception—especially your judgements, grievances and fears. 

Instead of being on the effect side of life asking self-sabotaging questions like, “Why is this happening to me?” you ask more empowering questions like:

• “Have I ever done this before?”
• “What can I learn from this?”

Remember: Your subconscious mind loves you and wants to serve you. If something upsets you, your subconscious mind is showing you an outdated fear-based program ready to be rewritten—if you listen.

3. The Power of Belief

Your beliefs shape how you see, filter and experience life. What you believe holds your current reality in place. 

When you question yourself you allow in the opportunity to rewrite outdated, fear-based beliefs and open the door for the abundant flow of life to surprise you with new and exciting experiences beyond your limited control.

Applying NLP in this way helps you to practice shifting your thinking from fear to love, from resistance to flow, from the small details to the big picture.

We All Have That Voice

We were all born with an internal guidance system—that sense of “right” or “wrong” within ourselves that is always guiding us. However, mostly we were conditioned to not listen to it, and not to trust ourselves. 

Rather we were conditioned to: 

• listen to our elders
• do what we’re told 
• be like everyone else

This conditioning means we’ve forgotten how to listen to and be ourselves. We’ve drowned out our inner knowing by not trusting it and have become disconnected from this internal guidance system as a result. We’ve lost our natural curiosity for life.

But the truth is you can never totally lose it—just drown it out. 

Applying NLP helps you to remember— 

• Your natural curiosity for life
• To listen to your inner knowing
• Trust your internal guidance system
• Practice healthy boundaries

Healthy Boundaries

Healthy boundaries are the result of listening to your internal guidance system. Because everything changes all the time, nobody can truly know what you need at any given moment—but you. 

Instead of blindly following society’s ‘rules’ and ‘expectations’ of what you should be, do or have—boundaries mean you accept responsibility to listen to your heart and awaken your natural curiosity for life—by trusting it.

It’s an experience. 

Back To Yourself

At its core, NLP is a journey back to yourself—not your ego self, but your higher Self—the one that is one with unconditional love.

By listening to your internal guidance system you reawaken your natural curiosity for life by trusting it.

NLP gives you the tools to do this—to see your fear-based agreements and un-do them, aligning yourself vibrationally with life—unconditional love. 

This allows you the experience of letting go of your ego’s attachment to what it thinks it wants (your fear-based programming), and to trust life by aligning yourself vibrationally with how it is, in each moment. 

The Power of Intention

Every intention has an outcome or a result. Because everything changes all the time, intention is like an agreement you make with yourself to guide how you respond to this change, rather than attempting to control it. 

Contrary to your ego’s popular belief, you have no power to control anything outside yourself, ever. Attempting to do so cuts you off from the abundant flow of life and invariably gets you bumped around by people in different environments at different times—like your family during the holidays.

Intention-setting is a practice that allows you a greater level of acceptance (vibrational alignment) that helps keep your mind clear to breathe through the ever-changing flow of life, trusting your intention to deliver you a different result. 

This is how we stay on the cause side of the universal laws at OAM.

OAM—The Open Acceptance Method

The Open Acceptance Method comes from my personal (and professional) practice of applying NLP to be curious and accept responsibility for everything to live on the cause side of life, in vibrational alignment with what is.

It is a way of applying NLP like a map to identify your fear-based agreements (your inner resistance) and accept responsibility for your energy, which empowers you to navigate life another way. 

During my 16-year career as a Master NLP Practitioner, I became super frustrated with how people run to different methods, coaches, courses and workshops to ‘fix’ themselves, without taking responsibility to apply what they learned in their everyday lives.  

They’re looking for a magic pill, which doesn’t exist.

OAM is how I share my transformational experience of applying NLP in my everyday life—identifying, questioning and accepting my inner resistance to trust, listen and truly love my Self. 

This is my method that essentially gives you a map to turn everything around—back to your Self—aligning your inner vibration with the abundant flow of life. 

The Story of Separation

We’ve all grown up programmed by this world of fear, with beliefs, dogmas and stories that convince us we’re separate from one another, from love, and from being enough as we are.

These beliefs which are rooted in fear, reinforce your experience of separation which keeps you stuck in self-sabotaging patterns of judgement, grievances and inner resistance that cause you to suffer, become ill and make life seem hard.

A New Agreement

How about another way in 2025? 

In a world that changes all the time, the only control you have is over your internal world. 

With an inner attitude of curiosity, guided by intention setting and open acceptance, you will begin to shift your inner focus from what you don’t want (your unconscious fear-based agreements), to what you do want (your new love-based agreements). 

The result is an experience that empowers you to bring yourself more into vibrational alignment with what is, rather than attempting to control, fix or change anything outside yourself. 

The experience is authentic self-love. It’s where you dive into the water—and swim.

Warning: don’t fall into a common new age, personal development or spiritual woo-woo misperception. 

This subtle change of agreement doesn’t mean you sit back and do nothing while you manifest all the dreams on your vision board by thinking positively. 

On the contrary, it is a very active, intentional practice that involves radical self-honesty, and surrender: the acceptance of life. 

This practice has nothing to do with changing anything outside yourself. Rather, it has everything to do with accepting responsibility to listen to and change the resistance from within you. 

The Result: Another Way

When you apply NLP by practising the Open Acceptance Method—you stop chasing love, happiness, and abundance outside yourself. The experience shows you that, not only is it already within you—it is you.

This method isn’t about learning anything new, but rather it’s about un-learning (through experience), the fear-based agreements keeping you locked in patterns where you and what you do are ‘not enough’.

Applying this method in your everyday life will help you begin the process of rewriting your story from one of fear and separation to one of wholeness, flow, and unconditional love.

Why OAM Matters

Knowing about NLP is just the beginning—applying it is where transformation happens.

Each time you accept responsibility for your perceptions, question your beliefs and align with unconditional love to live on the cause side of life, you reprogram your subconscious agreements and rewrite your story.

The more you practise, the more natural it becomes—and the more your experience of life begins to flow—effortlessly and easily.

Are You Ready To Apply NLP in Your Everyday Life?

Ignite your natural curiosity for life with an empowering question:

• What’s one story I’m ready to rewrite today?
• What can I learn from this experience?

Opening yourself to be curious about the answers will help you begin the process of accepting responsibility to live in alignment with the joy, love and freedom that is already you. 

If you’d like to go deeper, join my upcoming intention-setting group and experience transformation from the inside out.

***

Much love, 

Renier Jooste

Open Acceptance Method (OAM) Founder, Certified Master NLP & Hypnotherapy Practitioner, Firewalking & Breathwork Instructor, Strategic Intervention Specialist, Body Language & Micro-Expression Expert, Human Behaviour Specialist, Core Human Needs Therapy Practitioner and Reiki Level 2 Practitioner

👉 Join the OAM Method Self-Love Email List for weekly tips, tools and stories on living in open acceptance.  

👉Start the New Year with the intention of more self-love and awareness. We begin on the first full moon of 2025. Get the deets for 30 Days Intentionally Microdosing Life.

👉 Download my free guide, How To Be Free From Your (Overthinking) Mind. It’s a practical guide on how to open your heart to unconditional love. 

What NLP is Really About: How To Re-Write Your Story With Open Acceptance

Discover NLP as a practical, science-backed method for aligning your thoughts (neuro), words (linguistic), and behaviours (programming) with the life you want to create. But not your ego self. Your Higher Self (heart). The difference is self-love. 

Use the Open Acceptance Method as a way to apply NLP to transform your relationships by moving out of the detail and into the big picture. Practice consistently for more flow, ease and momentum in daily life.

Tired of Being Busy & Stressed?

It’s 7am and you’ve been up for hours already juggling school lunches, emails, your team, and the family to-do list.

The day has barely started, but the overwhelm is real.

You love your life, your family, and your work, but some days it feels like you’re barely treading water.

It wasn’t always like this, though, was it?

In the Beginning

There was a time—before you were seven years old—when life was lighter.

Your conscious mind hadn’t yet developed; you played, laughed, and followed your heart with curiosity and joy. 

Life was a game. 

You didn’t question whether you or what you did was “enough,” nor did you feel the need to control anything.

You were free to be you. 

But somewhere along the way, that changed.

The Grown-Up Life

As you grew up, that carefree curiosity began to fade. 

You took on the programming of the world—responsibilities, rules, and beliefs—that tricked you into believing life was no longer a happy game. 

Instead, you were told it was about effort, control, and responsibility. 

And now, here you are: busy, stressed and tired, wondering why everything feels so hard.

I’ve been there. 

And I’m here to share something that has radically changed not just my life but the lives of so many others. It’s called Neuro-Linguistic Programming—or NLP.

NLP is Not a Mind Hack—It’s Science

NLP isn’t a mind trick or a hack. 

It’s a practical, science-backed method for aligning your thoughts (neuro), words (linguistic), and behaviours (programming) with the life you want to create.

At its core, NLP teaches you the language of the subconscious mind and helps you better use it in accordance with the universal laws that govern—well, everything. 

Think of it like having the right tools to identify and re-program the outdated ‘software’ subconsciously running your thoughts, decisions and actions. 

“De-frag” the outdated ‘stuff’ slowing your whole system down. 

Are Your Values Even Yours?

Here’s the thing: Most of the values and beliefs you hold—even defend—were not consciously chosen by you.

They were taken on by your subconscious mind during your formative years when you had no conscious filter between you and the outside world.

The problem is, most of this programming—the thoughts, habits, behaviours, beliefs, and patterns that run your subconscious mind today—don’t come from a place of love.

They come from a place of fear. 

And according to the laws of the subconscious mind, you automatically get more of that which you focus on.

The Subconscious Mind: Your Loyal Servant

Your subconscious mind is like a loyal servant—always working to serve you. It knows no difference between you and me. It simply gives you more and more of exactly what you think and say.

It works 24/7 to process information, manage habits, regulate emotions, and even keep your body healthy.

There’s a catch: your subconscious mind doesn’t challenge your thoughts or beliefs. It simply follows them. 

This means, until you challenge them, you’ll unconsciously recreate the same events, circumstances, and relationships that reflect these unloving agreements back to you. 

It’s a universal law. 

Fear-Agreements: The Root of the Problem

Have you ever stopped to wonder why certain beliefs seem so hard to shake? That’s because beneath the surface are unconscious agreements that shape how you see yourself and the world.

The real issue isn’t that you were programmed by fear—it’s that you were programmed by fear and never questioned it.

Every one of us has inherited fear-based programming from the world around us. It’s like a thumbprint into our human DNA. 

These narratives are stories that sound like:

• “I have to work hard to prove my worth.”
• “I must control everything, or it will fall apart.”
• “If I’m not perfect, I’ll let people down.”

Remember, you didn’t consciously choose these beliefs; rather, they’re agreements you made to keep you safe, and then forgot. 

Fortunately, the universal laws of the mind mean your unconscious thoughts are reflected back to you by the world. When you pause and look, you’ll always find another side.

It’s like a map. 

Love-Agreements: The Un-Doing

On the other side of fear is love.

But in the world of duality there are two kinds of love—

• “Love” of this world (which is conditional)
• and Unconditional Love (love not of this world)  

The truth is unconditional love can have no opposite—but this not our experience of love in the world of duality. And its certainly not the kind of love we’ve been programmed with.

It’s fear disguised as love. 

Conditional love requires you to give something to get it. You are not ‘enough’ as you are and therefore you are undeserving of love. You subconsciously believe you have to do something to get it.

But the laws of unconditional love don’t work this way. 

More like the opposite way. 

This requires you stop doing and having so much, in order to be it, first.

Stop and read that again. 

NLP helps you to take a step back and to see this big picture, by remembering your inner curiosity for life. 

Getting curious is where your work begins. 

It Starts With An Attitude of Curiosity

Above all NLP is an attitude of curiosity. 

It’s a way of thinking in the big picture that helps you to discern between these two kinds of love. 

With the tools to un-do your unconscious conditions—agreements with fear.

The quality of questions you ask, determines the quality of life you live. 

Here are some quality questions you can ask yourself:

“Have I done this before?”

“Am I still doing it?”

“Have I accepted it?”

“What can I learn from this?”

This inner attitude of curiosity helps you flow with life. 

Letting go of what you think you know (or want) increases your flexibility, and opens you up to clearer guidance and new outcomes, that are 100% in alignment with unconditional love.

From this higher perspective, it’s a whole lot easier to practice acceptance and trust the flow of life. 

Note: Everything changes all the time, so staying in this flow is not a one time decision. It’s a practice—in listening and flexibility (with resilience); it’s a choice you make every moment of every day.

The Power of Awareness

The hardest part of any problem solving, including personal transformation—isn’t the change—it’s the awareness of what needs to change.

Most of us operate on autopilot, fiercely defending our fear based beliefs, habits, and behaviours that we didn’t even consciously choose.

Adopting this attitude of curiosity about your life helps you begin to cultivate a sense of self-awareness and begin to see the patterns of unconscious agreements that block you from experiencing yourself as unconditional love now.

To pause. Breathe. 

And un-do them.  

Un-Doing is Being

Personal transformation, mental health and self-love are not so much about doing anything— 

Rather they’re about un-doing. 

Undoing of the unconscious fear agreements—the beliefs, thoughts, habits and patterns keeping you stuck in the details of the past (or future) and out of the flow of life happening now. 

From fear, to being Love. 

How? 

By Doing Less. And Being More. 

The mental attitude of curiosity that NLP is really about is not so much about doing anything as it is about being—yourself. 

This means, remembering be unconditionally loving— 

First, to yourself (your inner child). 

And then (because you have it), to the world around you—by bringing more loving awareness into everything you do. 

Be The Change

“If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. We need not wait to see what others do.” ~ Gandhi

Being the change you want to experience in the world, and make an impact in a significant and meaningful way.

This is how you lead yourself with love, and extend it into your relationships—with your partner, kids, staff, clients and friends. 

Although, I know, that’s a whole lot easier said than done. But I can share, that your courage only lasts as long as you keep it and above all else, this work is about the experience. 

“One of my clients realised that her need for control at work was rooted in an old agreement: ‘If I don’t do everything myself, I’ll fail.’ When she applied NLP and Open Acceptance, she saw this story wasn’t hers—it was something she learned as a child. By rewriting it, she let go of the stress and built a stronger team dynamic at work.”

The Open Acceptance Method

When we have a story about something, we create a resistance to it, which blocks us from experiencing the wholeness of life. Open Acceptance comes from my personal practice of coming into vibrational alignment with life. 

When things happened that I didn’t like (which happened a lot), I applied every NLP tool I knew of to help me let go of my judgement and open my heart.

Over 15 years I’ve applied this practice, which today has evolved into a method that call OAM—the Open Acceptance Method is a way of aligning yourself (vibrationally) with unconditional love. 

Unconditional Love is the thing we all unconsciously seek. But the cosmic joke is its what we are. 

There is nothing you need to be, do or have in order to experience unconditional love. 

But as long as you hold outdated thoughts, beliefs, values, behaviours and habits, you and the people around you will continue to suffer.  

The good news is there is always another side. OAM gives you a personal map to see your non-acceptance and undo your unconscious blocks.

Applying OAM 

Applying OAM means you accept 100% responsibility for yourself by getting curious about your inner resistance and unconscious fear. 

We always start by stopping because as I said, this is an un-doing, not a doing. Remembering to make the time and space to get out of the detail and look at the big picture is super important; you cannot listen to your inner guidance if you are always busy.

Make space for yourself. I always tell my clients to walk, breathe, drink water and get curious.

Start at the End. Re-Write Your Story. 

Remember: life is a game. 

We all have that childlike curiosity, flexibility and joy within us. With NLP and Open Acceptance, you have the tools to rewrite your story. Not because you know anything new (you probably don’t). But because you remember it by experiencing it. 

The work of authentic self-leadership is certainly not a walk in the park. It requires great courage, honesty and real life experience to constantly bring awareness to your fear, and choose against it. 

Life is not going to stop moving, changing and challenging you. But you can get good at listening to your guidance, and aligning with the flow.

After all, love is your destiny, why wouldn’t you choose it now?

***

Are you ready to experience yourself as unconditional love? Let’s work together—book a free “game plan call” with me today.

***

What’s a story you’re ready to re-write today?

***

Bonus Content: Reprogram your subconscious mind for more self-love and awareness by watching this video everyday for 30 days. 

Much love, 

Renier Jooste

Open Acceptance Method (OAM) Founder, Certified Master NLP & Hypnotherapy Practitioner, Firewalking & Breathwork Instructor, Strategic Intervention Specialist, Body Language & Micro-Expression Expert, Human Behaviour Specialist, Core Human Needs Therapy Practitioner and Reiki Level 2 Practitioner

👉 Join the OAM Method Self-Love Email List for weekly tips, tools and stories on living in open acceptance.  

👉Start with New Year with intention for self-awareness. Join us for 30 Days Intentionally Microdosing Life. We begin on the first full moon of 2025, January 14th.  

👉 Download my free guide, How To Be Free From Your (Overthinking) Mind. It’s a practical guide on how to open your heart to unconditional love. 

Unlocking Self Love through NLP: How to Manifest Self Love as a Game

Ever noticed that no matter how much you “get what you want” it’s never quite enough? 

Or as much success as you have, you can’t quite shake those feelings of being a little bit unhappy, frustrated, anxious, scared, stressed, tired or some cocktail of the lot? 

Sounds like you need an authentic self-love practice – and starting is as easy as a good laugh.

Here’s the thing: Self-Love is a secret superpower that we all possess, but not many listen to. This Self-Love superpower is there for all of us but it lies dormant until we make the decision to use it.  

When you make the decision, you pick up a magic wand that:

• transforms your negative self-talk into quiet certainty
• turns your grievances into peace and 
• converts your self-doubt into knowing

Wait… is “self-love” really a thing?

Yes, Self-Love is a thing. 

But first let’s be clear: this is NOT “ego love”. 

Love is unconditional. It must be all-encompassing or it wouldn’t be love. That means by definition it excludes no-one and no-thing. 

Deep within you sits unconditional love; YOUR great power waiting to be unleashed. Like a superhero hiding in the shadows behind its petulant, make-believe alter ego. 

Let me make this simple: YOU are the superhero. 

At least, the superhero is your true Self – unconditional love – whole, perfect and complete, totally unchanging, calm, centred and certain in every moment. 

Your ego or alter ego is your separate, stressed-out, fearful, anxious, scared, not good enough, inconsistent, childish “self”. 

How to activate the self-love superpower

Be present. Although I warn you, this is easier said than done. 

But there is a hack. 

The moment you’re resisting, rejecting, fighting, punishing away, holding close or avoiding anything… you are fighting with life, in non-acceptance of what is. 

You are trying to control what is in truth totally out of your control. 

And when you do this you are NOT present. Your mind and heart close (because you are disconnected from your Self). And you suffer.

Every time. Guaranteed.

The hack is open acceptance which swiftly moves you (in your mind) beyond your fear and resistance into a place of unconditional love, inside yourself: open acceptance. 

Authentic Self-Love is the recognition that you are not a separate mind-body, but one-mind beyond your separate body-mind identity (ego). 

This subtle distinction is the difference between actually being happy and thinking positive thoughts about being happy “one day”. 

Sounds simple, right? And as for being present?

This is where NLP comes in

NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) at its core, is a way of taking responsibility for the power of the mind and your experience within it. In effect it is a way of reversing the limited Newtonian laws of cause and effect, and turning inward to the unlimited laws of quantum physics.  

Think of it like you’re a sports car. This is your super power vehicle that you travel this world in. But there are 2 of you in this car – your ego and your superhero – and only ONE driver’s seat. 

When your ego drives, it wreaks destruction and havoc through your life, your relationships, your health and your money. 

When your superhero drives, you are safe, calm, connected, tuned in, abundant, loving and more powerful than you could ever imagine.  

The trick is to keep your ego out of the driver’s seat and your superhero in charge. This is why it’s helpful to gamify your Self-Love practice.  

Gamification is a powerful way of bringing the fun and engaging elements that we love about games into real life, making the experience more powerful, consistent and fulfilling, with our chances of success a hundred times greater. 

Introducing the game of life: A real life game to outsmart your ego and release your superhero within

In this game, there are two mutually exclusive worlds: the World of Love, and the World of Fear. 

Each of these worlds is governed by two opposite sets of laws; the bridge to travel between the two worlds is through time.

World of fear laws:

THIS IS THE HOME OF YOUR EGO (THE TRICKSTER)

1. Love is not now (in the past or future)
2. Love is outside (not enough as it is)
3. Love is form (looks a certain way)
4. Love is punishment (punishment is required) 
5. Love is destructive (THE END)

World of love laws:

THIS IS THE HOME OF YOUR SUPERHERO (LOVE)

1. Love is now
2. Love is inside (enough as it is)
3. Love is content (the interconnectedness between forms)
4. Love is freedom (exactly the way it is)
5. Love is creative (THE BEGINNING)

When you are present you experience love NOW, inside yourself, where you know you are enough, with no separation between you and anything (or anyone) else. 

You are free to be happy and joyful and you feel good. Your actions from here are creative and you experience yourself as inspired, happy, joyful, loving and peaceful. Present with what life is offering you. 

When you are not present, you do NOT experience love now. You believe love is outside yourself and you need something (or someone) to make you enough. You begin to look for it in the forms and bodies outside yourself. And when they (inevitably) fail to meet your expectations, you punish them. 

Your actions from here are destructive and you experience yourself as vulnerable, weak, not good enough, stressed, anxious and depleted.

The game’s purpose is to increase the time you spend in any given moment, in the World of Love (being present) rather than in the World of Fear (not being present).

BONUS: Presence has a miraculous anti-ageing benefit

Why turn self-love into a game?

Because Self-Love is a thing. A rather important thing if you wanna be happy. 

But remember: this is NOT “ego love”, which is always limited or conditional. And always ends.  

Love is unlimited. 

Learning to know (and practice) the difference, that’s Self-Love. 

But there’s a catch. The ego is a genius (we call him the Trickster). That’s why we play Game of Life. As often as we can. Otherwise we’ll forget. Which is exactly his modus operandi!

Imagine two worlds: the World of Love, and the World of Fear; each governed by opposing sets of laws. You experience each world, by how you see yourself, in your mind. 

So what do you need to do?

Practise open acceptance, or being present. Consistently. 

And when that feels hard, you disarm your petulant alter ego and move back into your superpower with this powerful formula: STOP. LAUGH. PLAY.

Or more accurately… 

Remember to stop. Remember to laugh. Remember to play. 

Because remembering is the most important (and often the hardest) part of the game. Without remembering to sop, nothing changes. Remembering gets you a seat at the table, and gives you the opportunity to change your mind from fear to love.

1. Remember to stop

“Reverse the laws of cause and effect, and perform miracles.” – Florence Scovel Shinn

Come back to the ‘cause side’ of life: this is your reminder to stop being at the effect of your ego and put your superhero back in the driver’s seat. 

Tip:

Set reminders for yourself in different places and ways throughout the day. Get into the habit of being aware of yourself and checking in with your thoughts and feelings. Notice: are you present, or resisting?

Start here:

Pick up your phone and set an alarm to go off 1 hour from now. STOP and focus on breathing deeply for just 60 seconds (even if you’re busy). Allow what is to be. SLOW your mind DOWN. 

2. Remember to laugh

“There is nothing outside of yourself. Look within. Everything you want is there.” ~ Rumi

Once you’ve stopped, the next step is to look within, see your ego for what it is, and laugh at its littleness. 

The ego takes itself very seriously which is why laughing at yourself is such an effective tool to move yourself from fear to the safety of Love. 

Tip:

Sometimes it can be hard to laugh at ourselves. When this happens, get another perspective by asking yourself, what can I learn from this?

Start here: 

What are you currently frustrated with? Close your eyes and insert something totally outrageous into your frustration. Use your imagination: like Mickey Mouse ears, or a pink flying elephant. Now ask yourself, “What can I learn from this?”.

3. Remember to play

“Play is the highest form of research.” – Albert Einstein

Once you’ve laughed, you’ve successfully changed your mind from Fear to Love. The next step is to continue to play. 

Playfulness naturally increases your stress relief, creativity, connectedness, mental health, emotional health, memory and problem solving abilities. 

Remember this game is played in your mind so it doesn’t mean you take yourself off to the local park on a playdate (although this can be helpful). 

It means, get back to what you were doing, from a playful state of mind.

To play is the decision to be ok inside yourself despite the world outside NOT being the way you want it. 

Tip:

Make time for yourself to actually play; build a practice which helps you to remember not to take yourself (and life) so seriously.

Start here: 

Pull a face at yourself in the mirror. Do it til you laugh.

***

And that friends, is how you gamify your self-love practice with NLP (and remember to laugh).

Get into the habit of applying this formula throughout the day, every time you feel upset. 

With consistent practice and dedication, you will experience yourself more as unconditional love and wellbeing, rather than limited, stressed and unhappy. 

It’s like going to the gym in your mind, but without the sweat and the awkward grunting. And who knows, you might discover something inside yourself that you never knew existed. 

So, what are you waiting for? Stop Fighting Yourself. Unleash your superhero within! 

For more NLP and Self-Love strategies to Stop Fighting Yourself, contact me today.

RENIER JOOSTE

NLP MASTER COACH

CO-FOUNDER: OPEN ACCEPTANCE METHOD

Certified Master NLP & Hypnotherapy Practitioner, Firewalking & Breathwork Instructor, Strategic Intervention Specialist, Body Language & Micro-Expression Expert, Human Behaviour Specialist, Core Human Needs Therapy Practitioner and Reiki Level 2 Practitioner.