Hey, Iโ€™m a coach!

What Is Your Ideal Outcome?

Ask yourself this powerful coaching question:

What is your ideal outcome?

Mastering Self Sabotage: 7 Secrets to Unlock Your Potential

mastering self sabotage, think of your potential (coaching tip)

Self-sabotage often masks itself as an enemy, but it’s more like a protector, shielding us from the unknowns and fears that come with reaching our deepest desires. In this quest, we explore self-sabotage’s intricacies, aiming to disarm it. Let’s unveil the seven secrets to conquer self-sabotage and unlock your true potential.

1st secret: Make a Vision

Without a vision, people perish. Let’s examine ‘your’ bigger picture of what you’re trying to achieve specifically.

When you make your vision or goal deeply meaningful and BIG, you will automatically be pulled by its vision instead of being pushed by fear, getting stuck and sidetracked by the petty little side-tracking tyrants this produces.

These are also recognized in your self-sabotaging and emotionally controlled behaviors and actions. It’s akin to children not understanding the complete WHY behind what they’re required to do, missing the core inspiration for doing it.

Action item: Expand and position your goal with your grander vision to maximize its power of materialization.

2nd secret: What is your purpose?

What is the true intention and purpose behind what you’re trying to do? Why do you want to do this in the first place? Are you trying to please yourself, someone else, or engaging in people-pleasing behavior that muddles your authentic values of purpose?

Crystal clarity about your โ€œgenuine purposeโ€ uplifts and propels your desire for action and service to the next level of actualization, creating ultimate momentum in its achievement. Be explicit about your “purpose-driven intention” as to why you chose it initially and what you aim to gain from it, allowing you to let go, pivot, or achieve.

Action item: Honestly clarify your reason behind the purpose of Your Action, including any underlying motives, to redirect your purpose.

3rd secret: Connect to your soul

How authentic, soul-centered, and connected to your core, highest, and best self is the goal you’re trying to achieve, personally or professionally?

When you start anything from who you authentically ARE, you break through the fog of confusion, procrastination, and resistance, ascending to a higher plateau.

This process facilitates a clarification stemming from your soul-connection in tune with your truest intentions.It evokes feelings of exuberance, belonging, confidence, and integrated action, as opposed to a state of disconnection driven by your ego’s need for speedy results.

This often manifests as reactivity, anxiousness, scattered thoughts, autopilot actions, and being uncentered and ungrounded.

Action item: Before doing anything, check-in with your “being” self, and get centered within it to navigate from your soul-directed-self and purpose.

4th secret: Make it a joyful journey

Every action has its ups and downs, valleys, and rivers.

To uncover the root of self-sabotage, delve into the feeling state of the task or action you’re trying to avoid. What does it “feel” like? Can you shift your perspective and recognize that doing it might empower you and produce a desired result?

Often, pushing through discomfort leads to a brighter outcome, leaving you with a sense of fulfillment. Your goal thrives when you’re in a state of feeling good, in joyful alignment, generating exuberant connectedness, flow, value-recognition, freedom, and light-hearted inspiration.

Action item: Ask yourself if what you’re doing generates an exuberant, harmonious, and confident feeling state.

5th secret: Stay focused

The clarity of deliberate focus and action as the captain of your own ship cannot be underestimated.

It’s easy to get sidetracked by the ego’s seduction of misfitting fears, which are not worthy of your attention or a place at the head of your vision-table, purpose, soul connection, joyful endeavor, decisiveness, and personal energy alignment.

As a deliberate creator, practicing the discipline of keeping your eye on the ball is crucial.

Action item: Daily check-in with your top priorities to maintain your focus.

6th secret: Make a thoughtful choice

Deliberate choice is a powerful conduit to initiate action and maintain momentum, regardless of your focus area.

Choices often lead to multiple small or significant decisions, creating a multiplying effect that propels you forward.This avoids getting stuck in confusion, delays, and procrastination.

Action item: After integrating the previous secrets, make decisions promptly and clarify your next choice of action.

7th secret: Is it energy aligned?

For ultimate alignment and the fulfillment of your desires and goals, personal energy alignment is essential. Similar to aligning your car to prevent veering off the road, aligning your personal energy is critical.

Hastily taken actions that sidestep alignment can sabotage your core, not aligning with what has true heart and meaning.

Action item: Practice inner-oriented alignment to BE before you DO, creating a foundation for what you want to achieve.

Conclusion: Embrace your power

In the journey to disarm self-sabotage, we’ve explored the hidden intricacies of our minds and hearts. We’ve unveiled the secrets that can lead us to a life of purpose, joy, and fulfillment.

Remember, self-sabotage is not your enemy; it’s a guardian of the familiar. Trust in your authentic self, and you’ll discover the strength to break free from its grasp.

Never Doubt Yourself: Unlocking the Door to Success Through Confidence Coaching

Don’t ever doubt yourself. You can do anything you put your mind to. All you have to do is believe in YOU.

***

Updated April 26, 2023

Picture this: a chubby bumblebee, defying all logic and aerodynamics, buzzing around like it owns the place. 

It turns out, according to the laws of physics, bees shouldn’t be able to fly โ€“ their little wings just don’t make sense for their rotund bodies. 

But who needs physics when you’ve got pluck and sheer determination, right? Channel our inner bumblebee and dive in headfirst with me as we investigate why you should never doubt yourself.

Look, life throws us curveballs, and sometimes it feels like we’re walking around with a giant “Kick Me” sign on our backs. But every now and then, we need to embrace our inner bumblebee and say, “You know what? I’m going to ignore those naysayers and believe in myself.”

Indeed, some of the most successful and influential people in history have faced self-doubt, yet managed to push forward and achieve greatness. Let’s take a look at a few:

These folks teach us a lesson โ€“ never doubt yourself.

What about in coaching?

I’ve seen countless coaching clients struggle with self-doubt, which can seriously hamper their ability to achieve their goals.

It’s a common issue we face. We all have moments when we question our capabilities, wonder if we’re good enough, or worry about the outcomes of our decisions.

But here’s the thing – these doubts can actually help us grow and develop resilience.

They push us to self-reflect, evaluate our skills and progress, and strive to do better. Overcoming self-doubt requires a careful balance between recognizing your insecurities and still having faith in your abilities to move forward.

I’ve learned from my experience with clients that it’s about tapping into the right strategies and coping mechanisms to prevent self-doubt from consuming and controlling our lives.

Along the way, I’ve encountered various techniques to help my clients break free from their doubts and embrace their potential.

One of the most effective ways is learning to appreciate our strengths and achievements, while acknowledging our weaknesses and focusing on areas to improve. This mindset fosters a more positive outlook on our capabilities, gradually building confidence and self-assurance.

Don't doubt yourself

What does never doubt yourself mean?

I often come across clients who struggle with self-doubt. So, what does “never doubt yourself” mean? It’s all about developing a mindset that embraces your abilities and strengths while being self-aware of your weaknesses.

I’ve noticed that when clients choose to believe in themselves, they are more likely to take on challenges, learn from their mistakes, and grow. “Never doubt yourself” implies trusting your instincts, even when faced with uncertainty or fear of failure.

For instance, I remember working with a client who doubted her ability to speak in public. By addressing her fears and focusing on her strengths, she gradually developed a “never doubt yourself” mindset. Over time, she became more comfortable presenting to larger audiences and even enjoyed the opportunity to share her knowledge.

Also, a crucial part of “never doubt yourself” is knowing when to seek help or guidance to overcome hurdles. As much as we strive to be self-reliant, some challenges require collaborations or support from others. I’ve also noticed how clients who accept assistance and don’t view it as a sign of weakness often go on to achieve their goals more efficiently.

Embracing a “never doubt yourself” attitude doesn’t mean we should disregard our limitations. Instead, it’s about recognizing those limitations and working to improve them, while staying confident in the skills and talents we possess.

Why should you never doubt yourself?

I’ve seen how self-doubt can hold people back and stop them from reaching their full potential. I’ve come to the conclusion that there are several reasons why one should never doubt themselves.

  1. First, doubting yourself can lead to a cycle of negativity. When you constantly question your abilities, you reinforce the belief that you’re not good enough or incapable of succeeding. This negative thinking pattern is tough to break and could result in a self-fulfilling prophecy, limiting your growth and achievements.
  2. I’ve noticed that some of my clients are their own biggest critics. They undervalue their skills, experiences, and accomplishments. I often remind them that if they don’t truly believe in themselves, how can they expect others to? Confidence in your own abilities is key to achieving success and overcoming obstacles.
  3. Another reason not to doubt yourself is that everyone experiences self-doubt. That’s right, even the most seemingly successful, accomplished individuals have their moments of uncertainty. During my coaching sessions, I’ve heard clients share their stories of imposter syndrome, thinking they don’t belong or deserve their accomplishments. Just remember, you’re not alone in your self-doubt, but it’s important not to let it consume you.
  4. Doubting yourself can hinder your decision-making ability. When you’re unsure about your skills or knowledge, you’re more likely to second-guess yourself and procrastinate. As a coach, I help my clients overcome this by working on their decisiveness and learning to trust their gut instincts.
  5. Lastly, self-doubt can prevent you from seizing opportunities and taking risks. If you don’t trust your capabilities, you might hesitate to go after your dreams, try new things, or challenge yourself. As your coach, I’d advise you to embrace your fears and uncertainties as catalysts for growth, rather than roadblocks.

What happens when you doubt yourself?

I have witnessed firsthand how self-doubt can hold people back from achieving their goals and living their best lives. When you doubt yourself, it has various consequences on your mental and emotional well-being.

  1. Self-doubt can paralyze you and prevent you from taking action. I’ve seen many of my clients hesitate to make decisions or pursue their dreams because they don’t trust their own abilities. Thisย uncertaintyย keeps them stuck in a never-ending loop of questioning and worrying, instead of moving forward and learning from their experiences.
  2. Constantly doubting yourself erodes your self-esteem. When you’re unable to give yourself credit or accept compliments, your confidence takes a hit. One of my clients, for example, couldn’t acknowledge her own accomplishments and always sought reassurance, which made her feel even moreย inadequate.
  3. Another consequence of self-doubt is the increased possibility of making mistakes. In my experience, when clients doubt their abilities, they tend to be more cautious and unwilling to take risks. Ironically, this excessive caution leads to missed opportunities and, in some cases, errors caused by overthinking.
  4. On top of this, self-doubt can also negatively impact your relationships. When you don’t trust your own judgment, you may find it difficult to assert yourself or set boundaries, thus affecting your interactions with others. One of my clients struggled to communicate their needs effectively, which created tension in their personal and professional relationships.

Doubting yourself can have a domino effect on various aspects of your life, from personal growth to interpersonal connections. Fortunately, I’ve seen many clients overcome their self-doubt and thrive by developing self-awareness, practicing self-compassion, and taking consistent action. Itโ€™s never too late!

Never doubt yourself quotes

Here are a few motivational quotes you can pull out when you’re starting to stray from that confidence we all know you have inside.

#1ย  “Believe in yourself, and the rest will fall into place. Have faith in your own abilities, work hard, and there is nothing you cannot accomplish.” – Brad Henry

Believe in yourself, and the rest will fall into place. Have faith in your own abilities, work hard, and there is nothing you cannot accomplish. Brad Henry Coaching Quote

#2ย “You are the only person on earth who can use your ability.” – Zig Ziglar

You are the only person on earth who can use your ability. Zig Ziglar Coaching Quote

#3ย ย “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.	Ralph Waldo Emerson Coaching Quote

#4ย ย “Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.” – Suzy Kassem

Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will. Suzy Kassem Coaching Quote

#5ย ย “Believe in yourself, take on your challenges, dig deep within yourself to conquer fears. Never let anyone bring you down. You got this.” – Chantal Sutherland

Believe in yourself, take on your challenges, dig deep within yourself to conquer fears. Never let anyone bring you down. You got this. Chantal Sutherland Coaching Quote

#6ย ย “Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.” – Benjamin Spock

Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do. Benjamin Spock Coaching Quote

#7ย ย “Your time is limited, don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living the result of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, they somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” – Steve Jobs

Your time is limited, don't waste it living someone else's life... Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, they somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. Steve Jobs Coaching Quote

#8ย ย “Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” – Theodore Roosevelt

Believe you can and you're halfway there. Theodore Roosevelt Coaching Quote

#9ย ย “To anyone that ever told you you’re no goodโ€ฆ they’re no better.” – Hayley Williams

To anyone that ever told you you're no goodโ€ฆ they're no better. Hayley Williams Coaching Quote

#10ย ย “The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease forever to be able to do it.” – J.M. Barrie

The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease forever to be able to do it. J.M. Barrie Coaching Quote

Now what?

Take action and find a coach to help you reach those goals that are growing dusty. A confidence coach could be right up your alley. Or let us do the hard work by putting in a coaching request.

Your Ex In The Curiosity Stage After A Breakup

The curiosity stage after a breakup, as conceptualized by Coach Lee, specifically refers to a phase where the person who initiated the breakup becomes curious about their former partner, particularly in scenarios where the ‘no contact rule’ is being employed.

This stage is intriguing and counterintuitive, revealing much about human psychology and emotional dynamics in the aftermath of a breakup.

Understanding the No Contact Rule

Before delving into the curiosity stage, it’s essential to understand the no contact rule. This rule involves cutting off all communication with an ex-partner for a certain period.

It’s a strategy often used by the person who has been broken up with, not only as a means to heal and regain self-esteem but also as a way to create space and potentially rekindle interest from their ex.

The Onset of the Curiosity Stage

This stage typically begins when the initiator of the breakup, expecting their former partner to seek reconciliation or express emotional distress, encounters silence instead.

The lack of expected communication can trigger a sense of curiosity and even concern in the initiator.

Characteristics of the Curiosity Stage

Surprise and Confusion: The initiator is often surprised or confused by the lack of expected contact.

This reaction stems from the common assumption that the person left behind would naturally seek to mend the relationship.

Reevaluation of the Relationship: The initiator may start to reevaluate the relationship and their decision to end it.

The silence from their ex-partner can lead to a heightened sense of loss or realization of their value.

Increased Interest in the Ex-Partner: The initiator’s curiosity can lead to an increased interest in what their ex-partner is doing, thinking, or feeling. This heightened interest is a reversal of roles, as the initiator now finds themselves in a position of seeking information or contact.

Questioning Self-Worth: For some initiators, this stage can lead to self-doubt. They might wonder why their ex-partner isn’t reaching out and may question their own worth or attractiveness.

Potential Desire for Reconciliation: In some cases, this curiosity can evolve into a desire to get back together. The initiator may begin to see their ex-partner in a new light and consider the possibility of rekindling the relationship.

Navigating the Curiosity Stage

For the person employing the no contact rule, Coach Lee offers several pieces of advice:

Stay Consistent: Itโ€™s crucial to stay consistent with the no contact rule, as breaking it can disrupt the dynamics that have led to the initiator’s curiosity.

Focus on Personal Growth: Use this time for personal development and self-care, rather than waiting for the initiator to reach out.

Prepare for Possible Reconciliation: If reconciliation is desired, use this time to reflect on what changes or improvements can be made to ensure a healthier relationship if it resumes.

Conclusion

The curiosity stage, as described by Coach Lee, offers a fascinating glimpse into the complexities of human relationships and the psychology of breakups. It underscores the power of absence and the unexpected ways in which individuals react to loss and separation. For those going through a breakup, understanding this stage can be empowering, providing insight into their own feelings and those of their ex-partner.

Also see Coach Lee’s video here on Life Coach Hub about the stage prior to the Curiosity Stage, which Lee refers to as The Relief Stage of a Breakup.

How Long Does No Contact Take To Work On An Ex?

Understanding the no contact rule: A guide to reclaiming your ex

When dealing with the aftermath of a breakup, the ‘No Contact’ rule emerges as a powerful, albeit paradoxical, strategy in the journey to potentially win back your ex.

This method, which involves a complete halt in communication, may seem counterintuitive at first. However, it can be an effective tool in rekindling interest and desire.

Hereโ€™s a deeper look into this approach and how it can influence the process of reconciliation.

Why choose no contact?

At its core, the No Contact rule is about stepping back to allow both parties the space to reflect and heal.

It’s not just about removing yourself from the immediate pain of the breakup but also about giving your ex the chance to experience the repercussions of their decision.

Similar to how a professional athlete wins through skill and strategy, successfully navigating a breakup requires more than just the desire to reconcile; it involves applying the right tactics.

The psychology of no contact

In implementing No Contact, you’re not just passively waiting; you’re actively engaging in a process that allows both you and your ex to experience the breakup’s full impact.

For your ex, it means confronting the reality of life without you, which can often differ significantly from their expectations.

This confrontation can lead to a reassessment of their decision, especially when they realize the void your absence creates.

Key indicators of no contact’s effectiveness

  1. Observing Changes in Interaction: One of the first signs that No Contact is working is a shift in how your ex interacts or attempts to interact with you. They might reach out directly or indirectly, indicating they are rethinking the breakup.
  2. Emotional Evolution: An essential aspect of No Contact is your personal emotional growth. Moving from intense sadness to a more balanced state is not only beneficial for your well-being but also enhances your attractiveness in your ex’s eyes.
  3. Social Media Signals: While itโ€™s not recommended to constantly monitor your exโ€™s social media, occasional checks can provide insights. Posts that reflect on the breakup or express emotions related to it can be telling signs.

The duration of no contact

The length of time No Contact takes to yield results can vary based on several factors:

Implementing no contact wisely

No Contact should be more than just a tactic to win back an ex; it should be a time for personal growth and healing.

Itโ€™s about learning to live without the other person and finding strength in independence.

This growth not only makes you more appealing to your ex but also prepares you for any outcome, whether itโ€™s reconciliation or moving on.

Conclusion: The Journey of No Contact No Contact is a nuanced strategy in the complex dynamics of relationships. Itโ€™s a period of growth, reflection, and potential reconnection.

Understanding its principles and being patient with the process can lead you down a path of self-discovery and, possibly, to a renewed and stronger relationship with your ex.

ALSO SEE: How Do You Know If No Contact Is Working? 

Why An Ex Might Trick You To Break No Contact

To create a more expansive and uniquely worded article based on the given directives and the content from the original transcript, we will delve deeper into the nuances of navigating post-breakup dynamics, particularly focusing on the criticality of maintaining no contact, understanding manipulation attempts by an ex-partner, and the significance of persisting with the no-contact strategy.

This approach aims to offer a comprehensive perspective on the psychological and emotional landscapes that unfold following a breakup, providing insights and strategies for individuals striving to either move past their former relationships or mend them with a foundation of respect and self-worth.

Navigating the Post-Breakup Terrain: A Deeper Insight

Post-breakup, individuals often find themselves at a crossroads, grappling with a mix of longing, confusion, and a quest for closure or reconciliation.

This period is marked by a paradox of desire, where the dumper, despite initiating the breakup, might still harbor a need to be desired and missed by the dumpee.

This complex interplay of emotions can lead to scenarios where the dumpee might be tempted or even subtly coaxed into breaking the no-contact rule, a strategic silence adopted to foster healing and potentially reset relationship dynamics.

Deciphering Manipulation: A Closer Look

Understanding the manipulation tactics employed by an ex-partner is pivotal in safeguarding one’s emotional well-being and maintaining the integrity of the no-contact rule.

An ex might employ various strategies to elicit a response or rekindle communication, ranging from sending ambiguous signals to leveraging social media to convey a sense of vulnerability or regret over the breakup.

These actions, often driven by a blend of ego and a reluctance to face the breakup’s full emotional impact, can lure the dumpee into a false sense of hope or obligation to provide comfort, derailing the healing process and the journey towards personal growth and recovery.

The Imperative of Staying the Course

Staying the course with the no-contact rule is not merely about withholding communication; it’s an exercise in self-respect, discipline, and an understanding of the long-term benefits this strategy harbors.

It allows both parties to experience the absence of the other genuinely, fostering a space where emotions can settle, perspectives can mature, and a true evaluation of the relationship’s worth and potential for reconciliation can emerge.

For the dumpee, it’s a period of introspection, empowerment, and regaining a sense of self outside the confines of the relationship. For the dumper, it’s a confrontation with the reality of their decision, stripped of the dumpee’s immediate emotional support, which can lead to a more honest reflection on their feelings and desires.

Conclusion: A Path Forward

In navigating the post-breakup landscape, recognizing manipulation tactics, and understanding the importance of staying the course with no contact, individuals equip themselves with the knowledge and strength to make informed decisions about their emotional futures.

Whether the journey leads to reconciliation or a more profound, independent path of self-discovery, the principles of respect, self-worth, and personal growth remain paramount. In embracing these challenges, individuals not only navigate the immediate aftermath of a breakup but also lay the groundwork for healthier, more fulfilling relationships in the future.

ALSO SEE: How To Save Your Marriage By Yourself here on Life Coach Hub!

Will No Contact Make My Ex Forget About Me?

No contact: A catalyst for remembrance in relationship breakups

Navigating the aftermath of a breakup, individuals often grapple with the strategy of initiating no contact, haunted by the question:

“Will my ex forget about me if I disappear from their life?”

Coach Lee addresses this widespread concern.

He sheds light on the counterintuitive benefits of no contact in reinforcing memory rather than diminishing it.

The role of no contact in memory retention

The primary fear that looms over those considering no contact is the potential erasure from their ex’s thoughts.

However, the reality of human connections, enriched with shared experiences and deep emotional ties, defies this fear.

The absence initiated by no contact doesn’t lead to oblivion; instead, it serves to underscore your presence in your ex’s life.

In today’s world, replete with various communication channels, reaching out remains a simple task for someone motivated by the desire to reconnect, thereby nullifying the worry of being forgotten.

The paradox of presence and absence

Contrary to intuition, constant contact and availability can inadvertently lead to a depreciation of one’s perceived value in a relationship, often laying the groundwork for breakups.

This scenario arises from the ease of accessibility, which, while convenient, can make one’s presence feel less significant.

The main question remains: Will no contact make an ex forget you?

No contact reverses this dynamic by introducing scarcity, making the lack of your presence a notable absence that’s felt more acutely by your ex.

No contact as an emotional mirror

Implementing no contact creates an environment for reflection, allowing both individuals to ponder their feelings and the absence of the relationship.

This strategic withdrawal isn’t just about physical absence; it’s about allowing your ex to confront the void left by your departure, thereby amplifying their awareness of your importance in their life.

Each moment they expect to hear from you but don’t, serves as a reminder of your absence, subtly enhancing their longing for the connection you once shared.

Enhancing desire through strategic absence

The psychological impact of no contact extends beyond mere reflection; it actively fosters a sense of missing and yearning.

As your ex encounters daily reminders that fail to originate from you, a pattern of disappointment can emerge, especially if the relationship was meaningful.

This growing sense of unfulfilled expectation can lead your ex to reconsider their stance on the breakup, questioning whether the separation was indeed the right choice.

Conclusion

The decision to engage in no contact is often met with apprehension, fueled by the fear of being forgotten.

However, as Lee explains, no contact plays a crucial role in enhancing one’s memorability and desirability post-breakup.

Far from leading to forgetfulness, it magnifies your presence in your ex’s thoughts, creating a fertile ground for longing and potentially setting the stage for reconciliation.

For those navigating the challenging waters of a post-breakup scenario, embracing no contact emerges as a strategic move, not towards erasure, but towards becoming an unforgettable chapter in their ex’s life.

ALSO SEE: How Long Does No Contact Take To Work On An Ex?

Can Your Ex’s Rebound Relationship Help You Get Back Together?

Rebound relationships: Unveiling the hidden opportunity for reconciliation

The journey through a breakup is fraught with emotional challenges, not least of which is witnessing an ex-partner swiftly move on to someone new.

Yet, Lee from MyExBackCoach.com introduces an optimistic perspective on rebound relationships, suggesting they might not spell doom for your chances of reconciliation but could, in fact, pave the way for it.

This post offers an insightful exploration into the dynamics of rebounds and provides strategic advice for those hoping to reconnect with a former love.

Understanding the dynamics of a rebound

This not-new phenomenon of an ex in a rebound relationship typically occurs when an individual hastily enters a new romantic engagement shortly after their previous relationship ends.

Such situations often spark concern and dismay for the one left behind.

However, recognizing that rebounds may stem from an ex’s struggle to deal with the absence of a meaningful connection can offer a ray of hope.

If your relationship was significant and lasted more than a couple of months, the rebound might very well be an attempt to mitigate the pain of losing you.

The power of a graceful breakup response

How you respond to the initial breakup can significantly influence your ex’s perception and feelings towards you.

Opting for a calm, respectful reaction, where you acknowledge and respect their decision to part ways, showcases your maturity and self-respect.

This approach is far more effective than resorting to desperate pleas or constant attempts to communicate, which can only serve to drive your ex further away.

Leveraging the no-contact strategy

Implementing a no-contact rule is a critical step in this process.

This isn’t about manipulation; rather, it’s about honoring your ex’s request for space and taking the time to heal and gain perspective.

Your absence will be felt more acutely during this time, making your ex aware of what they’ve lost.

This realization is crucial for setting the stage for any future reconciliation efforts.

The role of comparison in rebound relationships

One of the inherent drawbacks of a rebound relationship for your ex is the lack of a deep, emotional bond, something that was likely present in your relationship with them.

As they progress with their new partner, the absence of shared memories, intimacy, and comfort can starkly highlight the void left by your departure.

This contrast often leads to a renewed appreciation for the relationship they had with you.

The counterproductive efforts of the new partner

Interestingly, the new partner’s actions might inadvertently work in your favor.

As they attempt to secure their position with your ex, their likely overbearing behavior can make the calm and respectful space you’ve provided even more appealing.

This overcompensation highlights your understanding and patience, making you an even more attractive option in retrospect.

The importance of staying the course

During this critical period, it’s essential to remain steadfast in your approach, avoiding any actions that might indicate jealousy or desperation.

Maintaining your dignity and allowing your ex to experience the rebound without your interference can lead them to question their decision.

Patience and a strategic withdrawal can significantly enhance your desirability and prompt your ex to reconsider the breakup.

Wrapping up

Rebound relationships, while initially disheartening, can unexpectedly serve as a catalyst for reevaluating lost connections.

By maintaining a composed demeanor and respecting your ex’s need for space, you create an environment conducive to reflection and potential reconciliation.

Lee’s advice underscores the idea that sometimes, the most powerful action is inaction, allowing your ex to come to their own realization about the value of the relationship they left behind.

For anyone navigating the aftermath of a breakup, especially when faced with the challenge of a rebound relationship, embracing patience and strategic silence can be your strongest allies.

This thoughtful approach may very well turn the tables, offering a pathway back to a renewed connection with your former partner.

Is A Breakup An Unintentional Test From Your Ex?

Navigating the hidden test of a breakup with grace

In the aftermath of a relationship’s end, individuals often face an unspoken evaluation, one that isn’t about passing or failing but rather about demonstrating maturity, empathy, and a deep respect for both oneself and the ex-partner.

Lee, from MyExBackCoach.com, sheds light on this concept, revealing how a breakup often acts as a subtle test of character, even if your ex hasn’t consciously set it as such.

This article explores the art of responding to a breakup with dignity and the significant impact it can have on the future of the relationship.

The breakup: An unintended measure of character

At the heart of every breakup is a moment that can define your character in the eyes of your ex.

The way you handle the news of a breakup speaks volumes, potentially influencing how your ex views the past relationship and its future prospects.

In that way of thinking, the breakup is a test from your ex.

Reacting with desperation, bitterness, or disrespect can cloud their memories, making the thought of reuniting less favorable. In contrast, approaching the situation with understanding and grace highlights your capacity for love, even in the face of personal loss.

Demonstrating love through acceptance

When faced with the pain of separation, showing love means embracing the difficult act of letting go.

Acknowledging and respecting your ex’s decision to end the relationship is a profound demonstration of selfless love.

This act of acceptance is not about indifference but about valuing your ex’s happiness and autonomy above your immediate emotional needs.

It’s a testament to your strength and your ability to love unconditionally, even when it means stepping back.

The role of no contact in healing

The period following a breakup often involves a strategic retreat known as the no-contact phase. This time is crucial for healing, self-reflection, and regaining perspective on the relationship.

For the one who initiated the breakup, this absence can serve as a period of contemplation, potentially leading to a renewed appreciation for the relationship and its worth.

For the one navigating the breakup, respecting this boundary is a clear sign of empathy and understanding, reinforcing your respect for your ex’s wishes.

Recovering from missteps

Human beings are inherently fallible, and a less-than-ideal reaction to a breakup is not an irredeemable mistake.

If your initial response was not what you hoped, reaching out through a thoughtful message to express your regret and your acceptance of the breakup can help mend bridges.

This communication should be straightforward and sincere, aiming to clear the air and show your growth from the experience.

The lasting influence of your reaction

Your demeanor during and after a breakup can significantly affect your ex’s openness to rekindling the relationship in the future.

A mature and respectful approach can ease worries about potential conflicts or drama, making the idea of revisiting the relationship more appealing.

On the other hand, a negative reaction can cast a long shadow over positive memories, posing a challenge to future reconciliation.

Conclusion

The end of a relationship presents an opportunity to showcase the depth of your character and your capacity for empathy and love.

By handling a breakup with poise and respect, you not only preserve the chance for future reconciliation but also embark on a path of personal growth.

Lee’s perspective reminds us that true love involves not just a desire to hold on but also the courage to let go with grace, maintaining hope for what the future may hold, whether it leads back to each other or on separate journeys.

As you navigate the emotional challenges of a breakup, remember that your actions now can either pave the way for healing and a possible reunion or solidify the end.

Opting for a path of empathy, respect, and understanding is the most promising approach for personal evolution and, potentially, for rekindling a lost love.

A Goal Setting Template

Goal Setting Template

You are so much more likely to be successful if you make a detailed strategy, prepare yourself for potential obstacles, and focus on your motivation!

Flying by the seat of your pants is fun and all, but risky.

Ready to reach your goals? Then follow this goal setting template.

1. Focus on your “reason”.

Why do you want to reach this goal?

Organizational Coaching Tip: Always ask yourself, "why do I want to reach this goal?"

2. Be Specific.

“I want to be a writer.” That’s nice. Do you want to write novels? Do you want to be a         columnist?

Would you like to be published in a popular magazine? Would you like to write for TV? 

think you see where I’m going. 

3. Make your goals Measurable.ย 


I will submit my first piece of writing to my favorite magazine by March 15th.

Organizational Coaching Tip: Make your goals measurable, like having due dates and timeline for your goals.

4. Hold yourself accountable.ย 


If you’re not reaching your milestones, you’re not going to be successful. Find ways to keep yourself on track. Use friends, reminders, etc.ย 

5. Come back to your “reason”ย 


Whenever you feel discouraged, come back to that reason you started in the first place.ย 

Organizational Coaching Tip: Once you feel discouraged, go back to why you started-- your reason.

Will Your Ex Forget About You? Can They?

Will my ex forget about me after breaking up?

The haunting question, “Will my ex forget about me after breaking up with me?” echoes in the minds of many navigating the aftermath of a relationship’s end.

This query not only reflects the pain of separation but also the fear of becoming a distant memory in someone who once played a significant role in one’s life.

Drawing on the insights of Coach Lee, this article ventures deep into the heart of post-breakup realities.

It will explore the enduring nature of emotional connections and the complex internal landscape of those who initiate the breakup.

The memory of love: An unbreakable bond

Contrary to the fears that often plague the heartbroken, the notion that an ex could simply forget about them is unfounded.

Human connections, especially those forged in the fires of romantic love, create indelible marks on our souls.

These bonds, characterized by shared memories, intimate moments, and deep emotional investment, resist the erosion of time and separation.

The memories of shared experiences, both the joys and the sorrows, linger, continually shaping how we view love and relationships long into the future.

Navigating the dumper’s inner turmoil

Though often overshadowed by the emotional suffering of the person who was left, central to the breakup narrative is the experience of the dumper, especially if the one they dumped uses the no contact rule.

Far from a position of cold indifference, the individual who decides to end the relationship often embarks on a challenging journey of self-questioning and doubt.

This inner conflict is marked by a deep introspection about the decision’s correctness, compounded by the silent void left by their partner’s absence.

The strategy of no contact, often adopted as a means to heal, inadvertently becomes a mirror reflecting the dumper’s unresolved feelings and the possibility of regret.

The silence that speaks volumes

The power of no contact extends beyond mere absence; it serves as a poignant reminder of what has been lost.

This silence fosters a space for both parties to confront the breakup’s reality, compelling a reevaluation of the relationship and its significance.

For the dumper, this period of reflection can illuminate the value of the connection they chose to sever, possibly igniting a desire for reconciliation or at least a profound appreciation of the relationship’s impact on their life.

Lessons learned in the shadows of love

The post-breakup period is one of transformative learning, where the remnants of a past love become the seeds of personal growth and self-discovery.

It is a time for sifting through the emotional detritus of the relationship, extracting lessons, and gaining insights that pave the way for future happiness.

Whether these reflections lead to a renewal of the old bond or the beginning of a new chapter, they underscore the resilience of the human heart and its capacity for love and renewal.

Conclusion: The everlasting echo of a shared past

The question, “Will my ex forget about me?” finds its answer in the enduring nature of love and the intricate dance of human emotions.

The bonds formed in the crucible of a relationship, marked by shared experiences and mutual growth, are not easily forgotten.

Instead, they evolve, influencing our journey toward healing and self-discovery.

Through the lens of Coach Lee’s insights, we are reminded that the end of a relationship marks not the erasure of memory but a complex transition, where the echoes of a shared past continue to shape our paths forward.

ALSO SEE: Will My Ex Change Their Mind About Breaking Up With Me? here on Life Coach Hub!

Should You Test Your Ex To Get Them Back?

In the journey of winning back an ex-partner, there exists a lesser-discussed yet crucial phase: testing them.

This pivotal period can offer valuable insights into the viability of reigniting the relationship.

Coach Lee, a renowned relationship expert, sheds light on this strategic approach in his insightful video, “Should You Test Your Ex to Get Them Back?”

Testing Missed Connections: The initial test revolves around assessing whether your absence triggers a sense of longing in your ex-partner.

Implementing the no-contact rule allows you to gauge if they genuinely miss your presence in their life.

By refraining from pursuing them actively, you create space for them to experience life without you.

This absence can be revealing, indicating their level of attachment and emotional investment in the relationship.

Evaluating Responses: Subsequent to initiating contact, observe their response closely.

A weak or casual demeanor may signify a lack of genuine interest or remorse for the breakup.

While the temptation to accept any form of reconciliation may be strong, it’s imperative to scrutinize their level of commitment and emotional investment.

A tepid response warrants cautious progression and may necessitate a slower approach to avoid repeating past mistakes.

Assessing the Authenticity of Comebacks: Not all comebacks are genuine; some may stem from curiosity or temporary emotions.

It’s essential to discern whether their desire to reconcile is sincere or merely an exploratory phase.

It could also be games an ex plays when they want you back.

Slow, deliberate steps are advised to allow both parties to assess their feelings and intentions accurately.

Rushing into reconciliation without addressing underlying issues can jeopardize the longevity of the relationship.

Restoring Balance in Dynamics: A harmonious relationship requires a balanced dynamic where both partners feel valued and appreciated.

After a breakup, the scales may tip, with the initiator feeling more attractive or in control.

It’s crucial to restore equilibrium by ensuring mutual respect and admiration.

Both parties should perceive each other as high-value individuals, fostering a healthy foundation for reconciliation.

Willingness to Earn Back Trust: Lastly, observe their willingness to earn back your trust and affection.

A genuine desire to rectify past mistakes and invest in rebuilding the relationship is indicative of their commitment.

Conversely, reluctance or indifference signals a lack of genuine remorse or understanding of the gravity of the situation.

Upholding standards and boundaries is essential in fostering a relationship built on mutual respect and trust.

Conclusion: Navigating the path to reconciliation requires a strategic and discerning approach.

Testing your ex allows you to gauge their sincerity, commitment, and willingness to invest in rebuilding the relationship.

Coach Lee’s insights offer valuable guidance in this journey, empowering individuals to make informed decisions and pursue healthy, fulfilling relationships.

ALSO SEE: Will My Ex Change Their Mind About Breaking Up With Me? here on Life Coach Hub!

How To Save Your Marriage By Yourself

Embarking on the journey to mend a marriage single-handedly can appear daunting, especially when it seems like you’re the only one invested in repairing the bond.

Yet, it’s crucial to understand that while it indeed takes two to tango in marriage, the initial steps toward reconciliation can effectively be initiated by one committed partner.

Herein lies a comprehensive strategy for individuals facing this uphill battle, aiming to rejuvenate the marital connection even when their partner appears disengaged.

Step 1: Cease Rehashing Past Conflicts

A common pitfall for couples navigating through marital strife is the continuous dredging up of past grievances.

This repetitive focus on negative experiences only serves to anchor the relationship in a state of perpetual discord.

Once discussions have been had and apologies made, it’s vital to allow these issues to rest.

Moving forward requires shifting focus from what has been to what could be, thereby fostering a more positive atmosphere conducive to healing and growth.

Step 2: Cultivate Positive Interactions

The cornerstone of rebuilding a strained marriage lies in the cultivation of positive interactions.

This involves engaging in dialogues and activities that emphasize the potential for a brighter future together, rather than dwelling on the mistakes of the past.

Simple gestures, such as planning a leisurely outing, reminiscing about happier times, or discussing future aspirations, can significantly alter the emotional climate of the relationship.

By fostering these positive exchanges, you lay the groundwork for rekindling the warmth and affection that once characterized your union.

Step 3: Strategic Communication

In scenarios where a partner is resistant to communication, a strategy of selective engagement can prove beneficial to save your marriage alone.

This approach entails initiating contact only under circumstances that are likely to yield a positive or neutral outcome.

The goal here is to gradually alter the dynamics of your interactions, transforming them from sources of contention to opportunities for connection.

By demonstrating through action that communication with you is safe and devoid of conflict, you can slowly dismantle the barriers your partner has erected.

Step 4: Resist the Urge to Separate

Conventional wisdom might suggest that taking a break from each other could provide the space needed to gain clarity.

However, statistics reveal that separation often leads down the path to divorce.

Instead, strive to maintain a shared living space, if possible, to keep the lines of communication open and preserve the integral family structure.

This proximity can serve as a constant reminder of the life you’ve built together, potentially motivating a reassessment of the decision to part ways.

Step 5: Prioritize Intimacy

In the delicate process of mending a fractured marriage, the role of physical intimacy cannot be overstated.

It acts as a powerful conduit for emotional connection, facilitating a deeper bond between partners. If circumstances allow, make a concerted effort to maintain a physical relationship.

This can serve as a tangible affirmation of the love and attraction that remains, potentially reigniting the passion that has been overshadowed by conflict.

Step 6: Uphold Self-Respect

Navigating the turbulent waters of marital discord requires a delicate balance between advocating for the relationship and maintaining personal dignity.

It’s essential to establish boundaries that prevent the acceptance of disrespectful or harmful behavior.

Demonstrating self-respect not only preserves your well-being but also sends a clear message to your partner that the relationship must be rooted in mutual respect and understanding.

Step 7: Apologize with Restraint

While acknowledging one’s mistakes and offering sincere apologies is a critical component of the healing process, there is a fine line between accountability and overindulgence in remorse.

Once apologies have been extended and accepted, continual repetition can hinder progress by keeping the focus on past wrongs rather than future possibilities.

Transitioning from a stance of perpetual apology to one of proactive positive change is key to moving the relationship forward.

Step 8: Reinforce Family Connections

For couples with children, emphasizing the importance of family unity can play a pivotal role in the reconciliation process.

Engaging in family-oriented activities and maintaining established routines can reinforce the sense of belonging and shared purpose.

This collective identity can serve as a powerful incentive for both partners to reconsider the implications of their actions on the family as a whole.

In conclusion, while the task of salvaging a marriage alone is undoubtedly challenging, it is far from impossible.

Through a combination of patience, strategic communication, and a focus on positive interaction, it’s possible to pave the way for reconciliation and renewed commitment.

Remember, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, and in the realm of marriage, that step can be taken by just one determined heart.

ALSO SEE: Is My Marriage Over? Here on Life Coach Hub!

Your Ex’s Perspective During No Contact

Understanding the emotional dynamics of no contact from both sides

The period following a breakup, particularly one where no contact is observed, opens up a chasm of emotional disparity between you and your former partner.

This article aims to dissect these emotional contrasts, offering a deeper understanding of the psychological states experienced by both parties.

Such comprehension could prove crucial for those contemplating reconciliation or seeking closure.

The initial emotional divide: Relief vs. Shock

Right after the breakup, your ex might feel a significant burden lifted off their shoulders, experiencing what can only be described as relief.

This sense of liberation starkly contrasts with the whirlwind of emotions you find yourself in: a concoction of pain, bewilderment, and distress.

This relief on their part is seldom due to superficial reasons but rather indicates a lengthy period of contemplation and mental preparation they underwent before initiating the breakup.

The discrepancies in emotional preparedness often render their justifications for leaving as minor or inconsequential, obscuring the real issues that have been simmering beneath the surface.

When you’re blindsided by reasons that seem trivial, it’s indicative of deeper problems, typically a diminishing attraction or compatibility, transforming small annoyances into deal-breakers.

Counterproductive pursuits: Seeking connection vs. seeking space

In the wake of the breakup, your instinctual reaction might be to cling tighter, to mend what’s broken, and restore the connection that was lost.

However, such endeavors often lead to an increase in your ex’s irritation, as they seek the solace and freedom they believe will come from separation.

This dynamic highlights the critical importance of gauging when to express your desire for reconciliation and when to grant the other person the space they crave.

It underscores the delicate act of balancing between showing you care and respecting their need for distance.

Power imbalance: Feeling powerless vs. holding control

The no contact phase sharply delineates a sense of control and powerlessness.

You may feel adrift, subject to the whims of an ex who has seized the narrative of your future without your consent.

This imbalance, where one party feels utterly powerless, underscores the dangers of investing too much emotional dependence on another.

On the flip side, your ex, having made the choice to leave, might feel a misleading sense of control and autonomy, overlooking the emotional devastation such decisions inflict.

The defensive mechanisms vs. the urge to repair

Your attempts to salvage what remains of the relationship could unwittingly push your ex into a defensive corner.

This defensiveness is a natural response to feeling pressured or pursued too aggressively, making them more resolute in their decision to stay apart.

Effective communication about your feelings and intentions, balanced with a respect for their boundaries, is key to avoiding this pitfall.

This urge to repair is the perspective that often results in the person who was broken up with wanting to write and send letters of closure to an ex in hopes of getting them back or simply moving on from the closure.

Such a letter should be about finding a middle ground where expressions of love and regret do not translate into invasive pressure.

From emotional reactions to rational decisions

Immediately following the breakup, a stark contrast emerges between emotional reactivity and rational decision-making.

While you are engulfed by the immediate impact of the breakup, your ex is likely in a state of calculated detachment, having mentally rehearsed this scenario.

Over time, however, the emotional landscape can shift.

The use of no contact as a strategy not only allows for personal healing but may also lead to a reevaluation of the breakup from your ex’s perspective, potentially opening doors to reconciliation.

Broadening emotional perspectives

The journey through no contact is rich with emotional complexity and introspection.

Initially marked by starkly different reactionsโ€”your acute distress versus your ex’s reliefโ€”this period evolves into a broader exploration of feelings and potential outcomes.

The irritation your ex exhibits in response to your outreach efforts underscores the nuanced nature of human emotions, revealing the intricate dance between longing for connection and craving independence.

This phase offers both parties a chance to reflect on the relationship’s dynamics, the underlying factors contributing to its demise, and the pathways toward individual growth and recovery.

Whether or not the end goal is reconciliation, navigating through no contact can foster resilience, clarity, and a deeper comprehension of relational dynamics.

In wrapping up, venturing through the emotional terrain of no contact illuminates the profound differences in how individuals process breakups.

By delving into these distinctions, you can gain invaluable insights into the complex tapestry of human emotions, fostering a better understanding of your and your ex’s psychological states.

This journey, challenging yet enlightening, emphasizes the significance of empathy, patience, and self-preservation as pillars for navigating the aftermath of a relationship’s end.

ALSO SEE: What Are The Odds Of Getting My Ex Back? Here on Life Coach Hub!

How To Get Over Your Ex ASAP

Navigating Post-Breakup Emotional Recovery: A Comprehensive Guide

By Coach Lee

Introduction

Experiencing a breakup can be one of life’s most emotionally challenging events.

It often leaves individuals grappling with a profound sense of loss and anxiety.

This comprehensive guide offers in-depth strategies to help you navigate the emotional upheaval of a breakup and embark on a path to healing and self-discovery.

1. Embracing the desire for emotional wellness

The journey to recovery begins with a genuine desire to heal.

Post-breakup pain might feel like the last remaining connection to a once-cherished relationship.

Recognizing that clinging to this pain only hinders your healing is crucial. Aspire to move beyond the hurt, and open yourself to the process of emotional healing.

2. Understanding the potential for swift emotional recovery

Contrary to common belief, rapid recovery from heartbreak is not only possible but can be a reality.

Acknowledging that swift healing and getting over your ex can occur can significantly accelerate your journey towards feeling better.

This mindset enables a more optimistic approach to overcoming heartache.

3. Changing your relationship with pain

The anticipation and fear of emotional pain often intensify its effects.

Adopting a casual attitude towards this pain can surprisingly lessen its impact.

Accepting that experiencing pain is a natural part of ending a relationship reduces its dominance in your life.

4. Objectively assessing your ex-partner’s behavior

Take a step back and objectively evaluate your ex’s actions as if you were an outsider.

If their actions seem hurtful or unjustifiable without the lens of your shared history, it may indicate that moving on is a healthier choice.

This perspective can provide much-needed clarity and reduce your emotional burden. Looking at from this perspective is how to get over your ex quickly.

5. Contemplating the suitability of your ex-partner

Reflect on whether your ex was indeed the right partner for you.

A suitable partner would not leave or create distance through excuses.

This realization can serve as a crucial wake-up call, helping you understand that the breakup might be an opportunity for finding a more suitable companion.

6. Releasing pain as a symbol of the relationship

Many people mistakenly believe that their emotional pain honors their past relationship.

It’s essential to detach from this notion and understand that letting go of pain allows you to embrace future possibilities.

Releasing this pain is not a betrayal of the relationship but a step towards personal growth.

7. Drawing strength from your history of overcoming heartbreak

Recall your resilience in overcoming past relationship breakdowns.

Reminding yourself of your ability to heal from previous heartaches can be incredibly empowering and comforting.

8. Addressing unresolved emotions and words

Confront any lingering feelings or unsaid words associated with the relationship.

Processing these emotions can significantly reduce the overall pain and provide a clearer understanding of your feelings.

9. Halting the prolongation of pain

To truly heal, stop perpetuating discussions about the breakup.

Limiting how much you talk and think about your pain can prevent it from gaining further energy and momentum, thereby aiding in your recovery.

10. Examining the authenticity of your pain

Realize that much of your emotional pain stems from biochemical reactions in your brain.

Understanding this can help you see that your pain, while tangible in feeling, might be based on an exaggerated perception of your situation.

Conclusion

Embarking on an emotional recovery after a breakup requires introspection, acceptance, and a significant shift in perspective.

By embracing these strategies, you can navigate the path to healing more effectively, opening yourself to new experiences and chapters in your life.

The end of a relationship, though significant, is just one part of your ongoing journey.

ALSO SEE: Will My Ex Change Their Mind About Breaking Up With Me? Here on Life Coach Hub!

When Your Ex Thinks You No Longer Care

The Unseen Power of Apathy Post-Breakup: Transforming Your Romantic Outlook

Navigating the turbulent aftermath of a breakup often involves a tangle of emotions and strategies. One particularly effective, though less discussed, method is the tactic of seeming apathetic or disinterested. This approach, which I recently explored in-depth, offers a fresh perspective on managing the post-breakup period and its potential for unexpected changes.

Minimizing Defensive Reactions: Paving the Way for New Possibilities

A notable shift occurs when you stop displaying concern toward your former partner. Post-breakup, the initiator often braces for emotional appeals and persistent contact. Absence of such reactions can lead to a decrease in their defensiveness, fostering a space more amenable to rethinking and introspection.

Harnessing Uncertainty: An Unexpected Advantage

An often-overlooked element in breakups is the undertone of doubt in the decision-maker. Despite an appearance of certainty, thereโ€™s usually some level of second-guessing involved. By stepping back and adopting a stance of nonchalance, you inadvertently amplify this doubt, which can prompt your ex to reconsider their decision, especially when they feel no external pressure from you.

Reversing Attraction Dynamics: The Paradox of Effort and Desire

Intriguingly, there’s a psychological twist where a personโ€™s allure can increase when they seem less available or interested. After a breakup, if you exhibit a lack of concern, this can disrupt the existing balance of attraction. The ex, who may have felt more desirable at the breakupโ€™s onset, begins to question this disparity. Your newfound detachment can unexpectedly boost your appeal, potentially reigniting their interest.

Preserving Your Esteem: The Essential Role of Self-Respect

In the immediate, emotionally charged aftermath of a breakup, people often resort to actions that they might regret later. Such behaviors, though stemming from a place of affection and desperation, can diminish one’s self-esteem and respect. By opting to maintain your poise and self-respect, you not only protect your dignity but also subtly increase your attractiveness to your ex.

Altering Relationship Dynamics through Indifference

If you were more invested or proactive in the relationship, showing indifference after the breakup can significantly change this dynamic. It signals to your ex that you are managing well without them, challenging their assumptions and potentially leading them to reevaluate their decision.

Healing via Seeming Apathy

Surprisingly, the act of seeming indifferent can aid in your personal healing process. By avoiding overt displays of emotion or desperate attempts at reconciliation, you start to align your behavior with a more empowered and self-respecting version of yourself. This realignment not only assists in healing but also leads to genuine emotional self-sufficiency over time.

Deep Dive: Deciphering the Impact of Apathy

Examining the psychology of indifference reveals its layered impact. When you show no interest in your ex’s activities or their decision to end the relationship, it significantly alters their perception of you. They no longer view you as the pursuer but as someone moving forward independently. This unexpected shift often prompts them to reconsider their decision and your value in their life.

The anticipation of your attempts to win back your ex post-breakup is crucial in shaping their response. If they expect continuous attempts at communication and emotional pleas but encounter silence instead, it creates a psychological gap. This gap can lead them to question the breakup, as they no longer feel compelled to justify their decision to themselves or defend it against your non-existent opposition.

Furthermore, your lack of efforts to rekindle the relationship conveys a strong message about your self-value. It suggests that you hold yourself in high regard, too dignified to partake in degrading pursuits of reconciliation. This perceived elevation in self-value can be highly attractive, leading the ex to reevaluate both their perception of you and the breakup itself.

Conclusion: Embracing Apathy for Self-Growth and Evolution in Relationships

Adopting an attitude of indifference in the aftermath of a breakup is a multifaceted strategy. It intertwines elements of psychological understanding, self-preservation, and emotional maturity. More than a mere tactic for reigniting a past relationship, it represents a journey towards self-respect and personal empowerment. Whether or not it leads to reuniting with your ex, this approach lays the groundwork for substantial personal development and a more balanced approach in future romantic endeavors.

Will My Ex Change Their Mind About Breaking Up With Me?

Will my ex reconsider our breakup?

Navigating the aftermath of a breakup often leads to the burning question: “Is there a chance my ex might reconsider their decision to end our relationship?”

The answer lies in a complex interplay of factors, both personal to your ex and reflective of your own actions.

Let’s delve deeper into these elements to understand better what might sway your ex’s thoughts about the breakup.

Understanding your ex’s self-image and traits

The way your ex perceives themselves and their inherent personality traits play a critical role in this equation.

Dealing with an ex who displays narcissistic tendencies or behaves in a self-centered manner, treating you more as a devotee than an equal partner, can turn the breakup into an unexpected opportunity for personal growth.

In such scenarios, embracing the end of the relationship and seeking a healthier, more balanced partnership becomes vital. However, the breakup act itself can sometimes inflate an already egocentric individual’s self-esteem, adding layers of complexity to any potential change of heart.

External influences and lifestyles choices

Another aspect to consider is the influence of external factors, particularly in the case of younger individuals.

Societal narratives and peer pressure can shape one’s perception of what constitutes a fulfilling life, often emphasizing freedom and exploration over committed relationships.

This mindset, especially prevalent among single friends, can reinforce your ex’s decision to stay single. Recognizing these influences is crucial in assessing the likelihood of a reunion or in attempting to determine the odds of getting your ex back.

Relationship dynamics and growth

Reflecting on how your ex viewed the relationship is key. Was the relationship dynamic and growing, or had it become monotonous and stagnant?

Relationships that show signs of progress and deepening commitment often leave a more profound sense of loss, potentially leading to second thoughts about the breakup.

However, a relationship perceived as unrewarding or burdensome might make reconsideration less likely.

Your role as a partner

Your behavior within the relationship significantly impacts your ex’s decision-making.

Were you a source of support and peace, or did your actions contribute to a sense of imbalance or discontent?

It’s essential to consider whether you were consistently genuine in your interactions, as authenticity plays a crucial role in forming lasting connections.

Overdoing expressions of affection can sometimes backfire, making it important to find a balance that feels true to both you and your ex.

The power of ‘no contact’

The strategy of ‘no contact’ is more than just a hiatus from communication; it’s a chance for your ex to genuinely feel the absence of your presence in their life.

This period can lead them to reassess their decision, especially when they see signs of your emotional resilience and the possibility of you moving on.

Reigning the spark of attraction

Lastly, the renewal of attraction is a crucial component. This process is gradual and hinges on your ability to demonstrate independence and emotional stability. As your ex perceives your strength and capacity to thrive independently, it may reignite their attraction and open up the possibility of reconciliation.

In summary, while there’s no guarantee in matters of the heart, focusing on personal growth, understanding the nuances of your past relationship, and maintaining your self-respect can increase the likelihood of a positive outcome. Whether or not reconciliation is on the horizon, these steps ensure

that you’ve approached the situation with maturity and self-awareness.

The commitment factor in relationships

Commitment in a relationship is more than a mere declaration of love; it’s the backbone that supports the partnership through thick and thin. The essence of commitment lies in understanding that relationships will inevitably face challenges and not every phase will be a blissful journey. Upholding the vows of “for better or worse” is a testament to the strength and depth of the commitment. It’s a promise to stand by each other, even when the going gets tough, and not just a fair-weather agreement. If your relationship is undergoing a rough patch, reflect on this aspect of commitment. Was it a cornerstone of your relationship with your ex, and how might this influence their decision to reconsider the breakup?

Evaluating mutual growth and respect

A relationship is a two-way street where mutual growth and respect are crucial. If your partnership was characterized by an imbalance where one partner felt more invested or valued than the other, it might lead to resentment and dissatisfaction. Conversely, a relationship where both partners feel equally valued, respected, and supported can leave a lasting positive impact, making a case for reconsideration after a breakup.

The role of positive experiences

Positive interactions and shared experiences form the bedrock of a strong relationship. Reflect on the quality of time spent together. Were your interactions predominantly positive and nurturing, or were they overshadowed by conflicts and negativity? Relationships thriving on positive experiences and mutual enjoyment are more likely to leave an indelible mark, possibly leading your ex to rethink their decision.

Contemplating an affair’s impact

If an affair was a factor in the breakup, it’s crucial to understand its impact. Affairs can drastically alter the dynamics of a relationship, often leading to increased resentment and a breakdown of trust. If your ex’s decision was influenced by an affair, it adds complexity to the scenario, making the path to reconciliation more challenging yet not impossible.

In conclusion, understanding these various factors can offer insights into your ex’s mindset and the potential for them to change their mind about the breakup. While there are no guarantees, focusing on what you can control โ€“ your growth, actions, and understanding of the relationship โ€“ is the best approach to navigating this uncertain period. Whether or not a reunion is in the cards, this reflective journey is a valuable opportunity for personal development and clarity.

ALSO SEE: What Makes Exes Come Back? here on Life Coach Hub!

What Are The Odds of Getting An Ex Back?

It’s not an exact science, but there are factors to consider?

Navigating the Complex Terrain of Reviving Past Relationships

Embarking on the path to revive a past romantic relationship is a multifaceted journey, laden with emotional nuances and pivotal considerations.

This journey is rarely linear, encompassing a variety of factors that significantly influence the likelihood of a successful reunion. An in-depth exploration of these elements provides valuable insights into the dynamics of re-engaging with an ex-lover.

Deciphering the breakup dynamics

The essence of understanding the potential for reuniting lies in comprehending the nature of the breakup.

The catalysts for separations are diverse, each carrying its own set of implications. If the breakup was triggered by a singular event or misunderstanding, the pathway to mending bridges is often more apparent than is the no contact rule after the slow fade. However, the severity of the issue, particularly in cases involving betrayal, significantly impacts the prospects for reconciliation.

Conversely, breakups rooted in ongoing relationship problems pose a more formidable challenge. These issues are often deeply ingrained in the relationshipโ€™s core, requiring profound changes and self-reflection for any hope of revival.

The role of relationship longevity and depth

The length and depth of a relationship are crucial indicators of its potential for revival.

Long-standing relationships are typically steeped in deeper emotional connections, creating a resilience that can endure the trials of a breakup. Short-lived relationships, while often intense, may lack this foundational strength and understanding.

Geographic proximity and relationship viability

The element of physical distance plays a significant role in the dynamics of a relationship, especially in the context of breakups.

When geographical separation is both a contributing factor to the breakup and a hindrance to reconciliation, it becomes a pivotal aspect in determining the feasibility of reigniting the relationship.

Post-breakup conduct and its implications

The manner in which one handles the aftermath of a breakup greatly affects the odds of reconciliation. Approaching the situation with dignity and composure, rather than desperation or hostility, keeps the door open for potential reconciliation.

Striking a balance between expressing a desire to reunite and respecting the former partnerโ€™s space is critical.

Examining past relationship patterns of the ex-partner

An individual’s relationship history can offer insights into their approach to reconciliations. A pattern of short, transient relationships might suggest a proclivity away from long-term commitments, influencing the likelihood of a lasting reunion.

Conversely, a history of enduring, committed relationships suggests a deeper inclination towards sustained partnerships.

Distinguishing between personal affection and relationship aspiration

It is crucial to distinguish an exโ€™s personal affection or attraction from their willingness to re-enter a relationship.

While residual feelings might exist, they do not necessarily translate into a readiness to re-engage in the complexities of a relationship.

Assessing the prospects of reuniting

Determining the chances of rekindling a romance with an ex involves evaluating the relationship’s history, the breakupโ€™s context, personal growth since the separation, and present circumstances.

Conclusion

Ultimately, the journey towards possibly reuniting with an ex is marked by introspection, understanding, and occasionally, acceptance.

This path demands emotional maturity, patience, and preparedness for diverse outcomes. Whether it leads back to a rekindled romance or towards new avenues of personal growth, it is a journey that warrants thoughtful and open-hearted exploration.

ALSO SEE: What makes exes come back? here on Life Coach Hub

Is My Marriage Over?

Is your marriage over? key considerations for a troubled relationship

In the realm of marital struggles, a common question that surfaces is: “Is my marriage over?” This query, often posed during emotional turmoil, necessitates a deep dive into various aspects of the relationship.

Here, we explore several critical factors that can offer insights into the state of your marriage and potential paths forward.

Time Is Often On Your Side: Understanding that marriage issues donโ€™t require immediate resolution is key.

Often, the path to reconciliation or clarity is a marathon, not a sprint. If divorce hasnโ€™t been initiated, there’s still room for improvement and healing.

Conflict vs. Issues: Surprisingly, the way couples handle conflict can be more detrimental than the issues themselves. It’s the negative interactions โ€“ constant bickering, disrespect, and unresolved anger โ€“ that often push spouses away more than the underlying problems.

Focusing on positive interactions and reducing conflict can significantly improve the marriage’s health.

The Role of Communication: While communication is touted as the cornerstone of a healthy relationship, its overemphasis can sometimes be counterproductive.

Endless discussions about problems may lead to frustration and resentment. Balancing problem-solving with positive, affirming interactions can create a more harmonious environment.

Considering the Possibility of an Affair: If thereโ€™s a sudden change in your spouse’s behavior or attitude towards you, it might be prudent to consider the possibility of an affair. While it’s a painful consideration to look for signs your spouse having an affair, understanding the full scope of your marital issues is crucial for deciding your next steps.

Standing Against Disrespect: It’s vital to maintain self-respect and not tolerate any form of disrespect from your spouse.

This includes addressing any belittling or abusive behavior. Setting boundaries against disrespect is not only essential for your well-being but also for the health of the marriage.

Legal Preparedness: If your spouse is contemplating divorce, itโ€™s wise to consult a lawyer. Understanding your legal rights and responsibilities, especially if children are involved, is crucial. This preparation does not signify giving up on the marriage but rather ensuring you’re informed and protected.

Parental Responsibilities: Focusing on your children during this turbulent time is crucial. Demonstrating your commitment as a parent can positively influence the marriage and is critical for your childrenโ€™s well-being.

People Can Change: Believing in the capacity for change is important. While not always easy, individuals can evolve, especially when given time and space to reflect on their actions and the state of the marriage.

Delaying Divorce: If possible, delaying divorce proceedings can provide additional time for reflection and possible reconciliation. This delay can be an opportunity for both partners to reassess their feelings and the marriage’s worth.

Professional Help: Seeking help from a marriage counselor or therapist can provide new perspectives and strategies for addressing marital issues. Professional guidance can be instrumental in navigating complex emotional landscapes.

In conclusion, determining if your marriage is over is a multifaceted process. It involves introspection, understanding the dynamics of your relationship, and taking proactive steps towards improvement or resolution. Remember, each marriage is unique, and what works for one couple may not work for another. Keep an open mind, prioritize respect and communication, and seek professional guidance when needed.

ALSO SEE: How To Win Your Spouse Back here on Life Coach Hub!

What Makes Exes Come Back?

What Makes An Ex Want To Revive Lost Love?

Reestablishing a connection with an ex is a nuanced and layered process, requiring a clear understanding of relationship dynamics.

Here are vital components that play a crucial role in the possibility of reigniting a past romance:

Elevating Attraction Levels: Fundamental to any reunion is the resurgence of mutual attraction. Typically, relationships dissolve when attraction diminishes.

High attraction can make you overlook many flaws and challenges. In contrast, when it fades, even small issues become deal-breakers.

This is especially true in long-distance relationships, where initial enthusiasm wanes as the reality of continuous effort and lack of physical proximity sets in.

Navigating the No Contact Phases: After a breakup, people usually undergo several emotional stages, especially when no direct contact is maintained.

These stages typically include feelings of initial relief, growing curiosity, mounting concern, and eventual desire for contact. The no contact rule helps in this progression, leading to a journey of self-realization and reflection.

Dissipating Defensive Barriers: A critical step towards potential reconciliation is the reduction of any defensive attitudes. When one continuously reaches out or insists on discussing the relationship post-breakup, it often results in the ex-partner becoming defensive.

Halting these attempts allows your ex to lower their guard, paving the way for a more balanced and rational perspective on the relationship.

Realization of Potential Loss: A pivotal moment in the reconciliation process is when your ex realizes the risk of permanently losing you. Initially, they may not be concerned about this, assuming they can always return.

However, as you demonstrate independence and strength by maintaining distance, they begin to fear losing you, which can be a powerful motivator for reconsideration.

Creating a Sense of Mystery: The absence of communication post-breakup instills a sense of mystery that often can be what makes exes come back. During the relationship, constant interaction was the norm, providing a deep sense of intimacy.

However, the breakup-induced silence fosters curiosity and intrigue, compelling your ex to reminisce about the positive aspects of your past relationship.

Addressing Long-Distance Relationship Hurdles: For those in long-distance relationships, specific strategies are necessary.

Demonstrating a willingness and a concrete plan to close the physical gap is crucial.

Moving beyond the indefinite ‘someday’ and setting a definitive timeline for being together physically can significantly influence your ex’s decision-making process.

Emphasizing Self-Improvement and Autonomy: Concentrating on personal development and self-reliance is crucial post-breakup.

This focus enhances your appeal and can indirectly influence your exโ€™s perception, making you more desirable in their eyes.

Understanding the Emotional Transition: Recognizing the emotional transition your ex undergoes after the breakup is key.

Each stage, from initial relief to eventual realization, has its importance.

Comprehending these stages aids in understanding their mindset, which is essential in formulating your approach.

Positive Communication Post-Breakup: Resuming communication should be handled with care.

Discussions should be constructive and focus on potential positive changes, steering clear of dwelling on past conflicts.

Leveraging Professional Advice: Sometimes, consulting with relationship experts can offer unique insights and strategies.

These professionals can help tailor approaches specific to your situation, enhancing the chances of a successful reunion.

In summary, rekindling a romance with an ex involves a delicate mix of emotional intelligence, strategic patience, and self-improvement.

Each relationship is unique, requiring a tailored approach to reconnection. Itโ€™s important to remember that while the goal may be reconciliation, personal growth and happiness should remain paramount.

ALSO SEE: How Do You Know If No Contact Is Working? here on Life Coach Hub!

How Do You Know If No Contact Is Working?

Decoding the impact of the no contact strategy in relationships

In the complex world of relationships, especially after a breakup, implementing the no contact strategy is a common advice given to those hoping to rekindle a lost love.

This tactic involves a deliberate withdrawal from all communication with your ex, creating a noticeable void in the usual interaction patterns.

This article aims to shed light on how this strategy plays out and its subtle indications of success.

The Silent Strategy: Is No Contact Truly Effective?
At first glance, no contact seems like a passive approach, but it’s an active strategy of creating an absence that your ex is bound to notice.

This change disrupts their regular expectations of interaction with you, potentially leading to a sense of loss or curiosity about your wellbeing.

Identifying the Signs: Is Your Ex Feeling the Impact?
Observations on Social Media: Your ex’s online behavior can be a tell-tale sign.

Posts that reflect on the breakup, display emotions of sadness, or seem indirectly aimed at you can indicate that they’re feeling your absence.

While constant monitoring isn’t recommended, occasional checks can offer insights into their emotional state post-breakup.

Unexpected Appearances: If your ex begins to turn up at your usual spots or places they wouldn’t normally go, it’s a strong hint.

These “chance” encounters are often intentional, driven by the desire to see you or gauge your reaction to their presence.

Inquiries Through Mutual Contacts: When your ex starts contacting your friends or relatives, it’s rarely just a casual conversation.

They might be seeking information about you, checking if you’re dating someone new, or simply trying to maintain a connection with you through others.

Direct Outreach: This is the event when your ex initiates contact, it’s a significant indicator. This action often signifies that they’re missing you and are open to exploring the possibility of rekindling the relationship.

It’s usually a turning point towards potentially getting back together.

Personal Emotional Shifts: An essential aspect of the no contact rule is your own emotional journey. Feeling better, gaining emotional balance, and not being constantly preoccupied with thoughts of your ex are crucial for your personal well-being.

This emotional independence not only benefits you but also makes you more appealing for a potential reunion.

Beyond the Silence: Growth and Opportunities
The no contact period should be more than just a strategy to win back your ex; it’s a time for personal growth and self-reflection.

This phase is an opportunity to rediscover your individuality, improve yourself, and emerge as a stronger, more confident person.

This inner transformation not only prepares you for a potential reconnection with your ex but also sets you up for healthier future relationships, irrespective of the outcome.

In summary, the no contact rule is a nuanced approach in the realm of relationship recovery.

It’s a process that affects both the ex-partner and you, offering a chance for introspection and growth while potentially paving the way for reconciliation.

How do you know if no contact is working? Understanding its subtle cues can provide reassurance and direction during what is often a challenging emotional journey.

ALSO SEE: Should You Use No Contact For A Long Distance Breakup? 

How To Win Your Spouse Back

To win back your spouse and potentially save your marriage, there are several actions you can take.

These steps go beyond mere words, emphasizing the impact of your behaviors and attitudes in rekindling the relationship. Here are five key strategies:

Actions speak louder than words:

Understanding the Impact: Often, in the quest to keep a partner, people rely heavily on words. However, actions carry more weight. Your spouse may doubt your words based on past experiences, so your actions become crucial.

Demonstrating Change: Actively showing change, rather than merely speaking about it, can significantly influence your spouseโ€™s perception. This includes fulfilling their emotional needs and addressing issues that caused strain in the relationship.

Subtlety in Actions: When you make positive changes, avoid seeking direct acknowledgment from your spouse. Actions done with the sole aim of recognition can seem insincere, potentially backfiring.

Avoid separation whenever possible:

Impact of Separation: Separating typically lowers the chances of reconciliation. It creates a physical and emotional gap that makes saving a marriage while separated difficult, giving your spouse relief from the perceived source of stress โ€“ the relationship.

Benefits of Proximity: Staying together (unless there’s abuse or danger) allows for more opportunities to demonstrate your changes and re-establish connection. It removes the extra hurdle of having to move back together, which can be daunting.
Demonstrate Future Potential:

Long-Term Vision: Showing your spouse what a future with you could be like is essential. This means becoming a better partner, learning from past mistakes, and actively working towards being the person they need.

Building a New Foundation: Itโ€™s about planting seeds for the future, showing that you have grown and are capable of fulfilling their needs in a renewed relationship.

Limit Discussions on Issues: The Pitfall of Constant Discussions: Constantly discussing relationship issues can lead to stress and negative experiences, potentially pushing your spouse further away.

Focus on Positive Experiences: Instead, create positive, light-hearted moments that strengthen your bond. Discuss issues when necessary, but donโ€™t let them dominate your interactions.
Healing through Action: If youโ€™ve addressed and corrected issues, thereโ€™s often no need to rehash them. Showing improvement through actions can be more effective than continuous dialogue.

Be an Exemplary Parent: The Attraction of Parental Excellence: Being a good parent to your children (biological or otherwise) can be incredibly attractive to your spouse. It demonstrates responsibility, care, and a commitment to family.

Strengthening the Family Unit: Good parenting helps maintain the sense of a family unit. This can make your spouse reconsider the impact of separation on the family and see the value in maintaining the relationship.

In addition to these strategies, itโ€™s crucial to engage in self-improvement and emotional growth during this period. This is not only beneficial for your personal development but also enhances your attractiveness and readiness for a potentially renewed relationship. Itโ€™s about striking a balance between making concerted efforts to win back your spouse and focusing on your own growth and well-being.

Remember, these steps are not quick fixes but part of a longer, more profound process of rebuilding and redefining your marriage. Each action, each effort you put forth, is a step towards creating a more fulfilling and resilient partnership.

Finally, itโ€™s important to stay informed and guided during this process. Seeking resources, such as Coach Lee’s free mini-course on saving a marriage, can provide valuable insights and strategies tailored to your unique situation. These resources can offer guidance and support as you navigate the complex journey of winning back your spouse and saving your marriage.

ALSO SEE: How To Save Your Marriage While Separated 

Should You Use No Contact For A Long Distance Breakup?

Strategies for overcoming long-distance-relationship breakups: Guidance from Coach Lee

Today, I’ll be delving into the intricate world of long-distance relationship breakups and effective strategies for dealing with them, including the nuanced application of the no-contact rule.

Understanding the complexity of long-distance relationships

Long-distance relationships inherently come with their own set of challenges.

While technology has bridged the gap in communication, it falls short in replicating the depth of physical presence and intimacy.

The longevity of such relationships is often tested, making them prone to unique difficulties.

Adapting the no-contact rule for long-distance breakups

In the context of long-distance breakups, the traditional approach to the no-contact rule needs adjustment.

Since physical absence is a norm in such relationships, the absence created by no contact doesnโ€™t have the same immediate impact as it might in a close-proximity relationship.

The emotional journey through no contact

No contact takes your ex through emotional stages, starting at a sense of relief to gradually reaching a point of missing you. No contact for long-distance breakups provides an emotional journey might be extended due to the accustomed physical separation.

Reconnecting in a long-distance relationship

  1. Wait for Their Outreach:ย Patience is key. Your ex might initially make casual contact, indicating theyโ€™re reassessing their feelings. This is a positive step and requires patience and understanding from your end.
  2. Plan for Future Proximity:ย To rekindle the relationship, a practical plan to eliminate the physical distance is essential. Vague promises won’t suffice; a detailed plan with a timeline is necessary to show commitment and feasibility.
  3. Initiating Contact After Considerable Time:ย Sometimes, after a significant period has passed, reaching out to your ex can be helpful, especially if theyโ€™re uncertain about your willingness to reconcile.
  4. Seek Face-to-Face Meetings:ย Whenever possible, try to arrange in-person meetings. These interactions are critical for showcasing genuine commitment and discussing realistic plans to overcome the distance barrier.

The necessity of a concrete plan

In long-distance relationships, it’s vital to move beyond the โ€œsomedayโ€ narrative and develop a concrete plan with specific steps and a timeline. Such a plan can significantly increase the likelihood of successfully reviving the relationship.

Conclusion

Navigating a breakup in a long-distance relationship requires an understanding of its unique challenges. Patience, clear communication, and a solid plan for the future are crucial for re-establishing a connection. For more comprehensive guidance, consider exploring resources like my “Emergency Breakup Kit,” which provides in-depth advice and strategies tailored for such situations. Remember, a well-thought-out approach and commitment to a shared future can pave the way for reconciliation.

ALSO SEE: Does Your Ex Know What They Want here on Life Coach Hub!

Financial Procrastination: The Dirty P Word Causing Your Headache (and the Coaching Cure!)

Procrastination according to one dictionary, is defined as the delay or putting off of, intentionally and habitually. In other dictionaries, there is also an added implication that what is “put off” is that which should be done immediately.

When it comes to financial skillsย disciplineย such as budgeting and saving, the issue of “putting off” or delaying financially that which should be done immediately or regularly can causeย unnecessary financial burdens or eventual disaster.

When it comes to financial skills discipline such as budgeting and saving, putting off or delaying financially can cause unnecessary financial burdens or eventual disaster. C'Nise Sampson Coaching Quote

During this holiday season, a time when prior financial skills discipline can really pay off, financial procrastination should have been firmly “nipped in the bud” long before now. But unfortunately, many people are not usually motivated to be financially disciplined in life until an important obligation or situation is in danger or close to being in dire straits!

During my 10 years as a consumer loan officer and time later as a financial skills counselor and educator, I can recall countless stories of families who experienced financial hardships who were continually depleting not just their regular savings, but even theirย emergency fundsย (if any at all) set aside.

Many people are not usually motivated to be financially disciplined in life until an important obligation or situation is in danger or close to being in dire straits! C'Nise Sampson Coaching Quote

Some of the heartache, stress and loss could have been avoided with maybe a little advance planning, saving, counseling and, or money strategizing.

This caused ongoing damaging stress and loss.

Is it possible that some of the heartache, stress and loss could have been avoided with maybe a little advance planning, saving, counseling and, or money strategizing?

Well certainly; because as we’ve probably all heard the saying before: “an ounce of prevention saves a pound of cure!” Or, in this case, a little financial discipline in areas such as budgeting, planning and saving, may prevent some if not a large portion of financial struggle later on. Remember…there is always help for those willing to seek and accept it.

So, let’sย turn those “dirty P and D” words into positive ones! Make them opportunities for your success and well-being.

Turn the dirty p word to success

Just try picking oneย Pย or all…ย Planning, Preparation, Persistence; for theย D… Determined, Decisive, or Diligent. Once you start practicing, it becomes a lot easier and the accomplishment of your goals become that much closer to you~!

Turn the dirty d word to success

You owe it to yourself and family to get the help needed to “grow forward” making necessary changes and becoming more disciplined in managing and stewarding your finances.

If you are someone who struggles with procrastination or financial discipline and, or with life in general… or if any of the above resonates with you in the least bit, you owe it to yourself and family to get the help needed to “grow forward” making necessary changes and becoming more disciplined in managing and stewarding your finances.

Then, I believe youโ€™ll not only begin to seeโ€ฆbut will begin to experience the fruit of all your hard work!

C’Nise Sampson

Financial coach

How To Save Your Marriage While Separated

In Coach Lee’s video entitled, “How to Save Your Marriage While Separated,” he provides practical advice for couples who are experiencing a separation but wish to work towards reconciliation.

The video covers several key strategies:

Minimize Separation Distance: Coach Lee emphasizes the importance of staying as close as possible to one’s spouse during separation.

This could mean living in the same house but in different rooms, or at least being in the same neighborhood.

Proximity can help maintain a connection and make it easier to manage joint responsibilities, especially if children are involved.

Regular Meetups or Dates: Setting up consistent times to meet and update each other on important matters like children, finances, or the household can be beneficial.

These regular interactions provide opportunities for positive communication and can help in re-establishing the emotional connection.

Develop a Reunion Plan: In this video, Coach Lee advises creating a concrete plan for ending the separation and reuniting.

This plan should be mutually agreed upon and might include resolving certain issues or meeting specific conditions. Itโ€™s important to be constructive and avoid arguments during these discussions in order to have the best chance to save your marriage while separated.

Be Teammates: Seeking ways to collaborate and work together on common goals or responsibilities is crucial. This approach reinforces the idea of partnership and teamwork, which is central to a healthy relationship.

Avoid Negative Interactions: Negative interactions can be detrimental to the process of reconciliation. Coach Lee advises steering clear of arguments and criticism, focusing instead on maintaining a positive and respectful communication.

Itโ€™s normal for the separated spouse to wonder if they made the right decision. This period of doubt can be an opportune time to demonstrate positive changes and remind them of the good aspects of the relationship.

Throughout the video, Coach Lee emphasizes the importance of patience, understanding, and consistent effort in working towards saving a marriage during separation. The key takeaway is that both partners should actively participate in the process and commit to making positive changes for the betterment of their relationship.

ALSO SEE: “My Husband Won’t Talk To Me,” here on Life Coach Hub! 

My Husband Won’t Talk To Me

Tips for encouraging your husband to talk

Navigating a marriage where communication seems one-sided can be frustrating and lonely.

If you find yourself longing for your husband to open up and engage in more meaningful conversations, you’re not alone.

As a long-time relationship coach, I’ve gathered a series of actionable tips to help bridge the communication gap in your marriage.

  1. Respect His Downtime: Understand and respect the natural ebb and flow of your husband’s energy and willingness to communicate. Many men need a period of decompression, especially after a demanding day. This quiet time is how they recharge and prepare for further interaction. Recognize and honor these moments of rest. A relationship that allows for peaceful coexistence, even in silence, can be profoundly strong and intimate. Give him the space he needs, and you may find him more willing to open up afterward.
  2. Create a Safe Space for Dialogue: It’s critical to foster an environment where honesty is not met with negative consequences. If he shares thoughts or opinions that are hard to hear, resist the urge to react harshly. Instead, practice active listening and respond with understanding. Creating a judgment-free zone encourages openness and might make him feel more comfortable sharing in the future.
  3. Engage in His Passions: One of the most effective ways to encourage communication is by showing interest in his hobbies and passions. Whether it’s sports, music, or another pastime, ask questions and engage in discussions about these topics. Showing genuine interest in his likes can make him more enthusiastic about conversing and can lead to more varied and deeper discussions over time.
  4. Treat His Words With Care: Ensure that whatever your husband shares with you is treated with respect and confidentiality. Using his words against him in arguments or sharing without consent can make it whereย your husband hates youย a breakdown in trust. Make it clear that his thoughts and feelings are safe with you, and he may be more likely to open up.
  5. Bond Over Shared Interests: Participating in hobbies and activities together can be a powerful catalyst for conversation. Take time to discover mutual interests and engage in these activities together. Whether it’s a shared love for a particular type of cuisine, a sport, or a creative endeavor, doing things together builds companionship and naturally encourages dialogue.

Communication is a foundational aspect of any relationship, and fostering it requires patience, empathy, and sometimes, a bit of strategy.

While every individual and relationship is unique, these tips provide a general framework for encouraging more open and honest communication with your husband.

For more in-depth strategies and personalized advice, consider exploring resources like my free mini-course on saving a marriage or joining a workshop designed for marriages facing significant challenges. These can provide you with additional tools and understanding to navigate your communication journey effectively.

In embarking on this journey to enhance communication with your husband, remember that change doesn’t happen overnight. Consistent effort, understanding, and a willingness to adapt are key. With time, patience, and persistence, you can foster a more open, communicative, and intimate relationship with your spouse.

This has been Coach Lee, guiding you towards a more connected and fulfilling marriage. Thank you for dedicating yourself to improving your relationship.

ALSO SEE:  What To Do When Your Spouse Wants A Divorce here on Life Coach Hub!

Get Your Spouse Back

“Strategies for Rebuilding Your Marriage: Guidance on Winning Back Your Spouse”

Navigating through the distress of a spouse contemplating separation or divorce is profoundly challenging.

With over two decades in relationship coaching, I’ve witnessed certain approaches that have successfully mended and strengthened faltering marriages.

Here’s an expanded guide based on practical steps that have helped many couples find their way back to each other.

  1. Cease Negative Behaviors Immediately: The critical first step is recognizing and stopping any of your actions contributing to the deterioration of your relationship. This includes begging for them to stay, incessant pleading, or continually dragging out old arguments. These behaviors only reinforce your spouse’s desire to distance themselves from the marriage by associating interactions with you as negative or stressful. Shift your focus to fostering a more positive or at least neutral atmosphere where your spouse doesn’t feel pushed further away with every interaction.
  2. Initiate Constructive, Positive Exchanges: It might seem insignificant, but initiating small, positive interactions can gradually improve the relationship’s atmosphere. These positive gestures need not be grand โ€“ a sincere compliment, a shared joke, or a moment of empathy can significantly impact over time. Gradually, these positive seeds can grow, altering the previously negative trajectory and opening the door to improved communication and warmth.
  3. Discourage Physical Separation: Avoiding separation can be crucial in maintaining the marital connection. Physical separation often leads to emotional distance, making it easier for your spouse to imagine and even prefer a life without the marriage. Living under the same roof allows for daily opportunities for positive interactions and witnessing each other’s efforts and changes. That can help youย get your spouse backย even if things seem strained and as though your spouse has no interest in ever staying in the marriage.
  4. Maintain Stability for Your Family: If children are involved, their well-being should be a paramount concern. Strive to preserve stability and normalcy in their lives. Continue family rituals, ensure a peaceful home environment, and demonstrate that you are an attentive, caring parent. This not only benefits your children but can also remind your spouse of the shared commitment and the love that originally brought you together as a family.
  5. Become a More Attractive Partner in Every Aspect: Attractiveness extends beyond physical appearance. It includes intellectual stimulation, emotional depth, and general life vitality. Take care of your physical health, engage in interests that make you a more interesting and well-rounded individual, and show emotional maturity and understanding. Be the person your spouse was initially attracted to, and work on being even better.

Additional Guidance:

Restoring a marriage requires more than just halting a departure; it involves reconstructing your relationship based on mutual respect, renewed attraction, and enjoying each other’s company. While not all marriages can be salvaged, these approaches offer a hopeful path for many. Remember, this process is about steady, positive effort and a willingness to adapt and grow.

Throughout this journey, focus on personal growth and learning. Patience, persistence, and an openness to evolving from this experience are key, regardless of the outcome. By committing to improvement and understanding, you’re taking significant steps toward a stronger, more fulfilling relationship. This has been Coach Lee, offering guidance and support as you navigate through these challenging times in your marriage. Thank you for your commitment to bettering your relationship and yourself.

ALSO SEE: I Don’t Want To Be Married Anymore here on Life Coach Hub!

If You Are Saying, “I Don’t Want To Be Married Anymore”

In the quest to rekindle the desire and commitment in your marriage, it’s crucial to understand the dynamics between you and your spouse as well as the entity called ‘marriage’ itself.

Often, couples view their marriage as a third-party, a separate entity that seems to control or influence their relationship. This perspective can be detrimental.

Instead, it’s healthier and more productive to see your marriage as the outcome of your interactions and shared life with your spouse.

One key element in revitalizing your marriage is to focus on positive experiences. Negativity can overshadow the relationship, causing arguments, hate or stress about finances, child-rearing, or other daily hassles.

Research suggests that it takes multiple positive experiences to counteract a single negative one. Hence, consciously increasing positive interactions and reducing conflicts can significantly improve your marital satisfaction.

Sex shouldn’t be overlooked or undervalued in marriage. It’s a profound means of communication and connection, strengthening intimacy and bonding. Prioritizing and committing to a satisfying sexual relationship can greatly enhance closeness and desire in marriage.

Moreover, the focus of each partner should ideally be on fulfilling the other’s needs and aspirations. Joy and contentment often stem from seeing your partner happy and fulfilled. If this focus shifts or is lost, it’s essential to reorient and remember that your primary role in marriage is to love and care for your spouse.

Another crucial aspect is communication style. Yelling or aggressive communication can severely damage the warmth and connection in a relationship. Adopting a calm, respectful, and understanding communication approach can significantly improve the emotional climate of your marriage.

Consider the concept of a classical marriage, where roles are clearly defined and each partner serves the other in specific ways. This clarity can reduce conflicts and increase harmony. Additionally, reintroducing date nights can reignite the spark, providing dedicated time to enjoy each other’s company and strengthen your bond.

Meeting each other’s emotional needs is vital. Understanding what your spouse values and needs emotionally and striving to meet those needs can create a deeper, more fulfilling relationship. Regular expressions of gratitude for your spouse and the positive aspects of your marriage can shift your focus from what’s lacking to appreciating what you have.

Finally, simplifying your life and marriage can be incredibly freeing. Reducing unrealistic expectations and appreciating the simple joys of your shared life can lead to greater contentment and a stronger, more resilient marriage.

In essence, revitalizing the “want to” in your marriage involves a combination of understanding, effort, and a shift in perspective. By focusing on each other, prioritizing positive interactions, and nurturing your connection, you can rediscover the joy and satisfaction of being together, making your marriage not just a responsibility, but a source of profound happiness and fulfillment.

ALSO SEE: How To Win Your Wife Back here on Life Coach Hub!

How To Stop Your Breakup Thought Cycle

In the wake of a relationship’s end, many individuals find themselves ensnared in a relentless cycle of questions and doubts that hinder their healing process and potential reconciliation.

This pattern, often observed by relationship experts, is characterized by an obsessive loop of introspection that leads to emotional stagnation and intensified pain.

Understanding this cycle is critical to breaking free from it and moving forward.

One prevalent entry point into this cycle is the barrage of “why” questions.

Individuals find themselves asking why the breakup occurred, why their ex behaved a certain way, and why they’re unable to move past the pain.

These questions, while natural, often lead to a maze of unanswerable queries that only fuel frustration and grief.

The answers are typically complex and multifaceted, rarely offering closure. This is especially true if the relationship ended with a slow fade before no contact is employed.

To combat the cycle, it’s essential to establish a mental anchorโ€”a statement or affirmation that reorients your thoughts towards personal strength and future happiness.

For instance, affirming that your ex’s decision to leave is a reflection of their journey and not your worth can be powerful. It’s about shifting the narrative from one of desperation to one of self-respect and potentiality.

Another aspect of the cycle involves the “how” questions. These often pertain to the logistics of the breakup, the mechanics of no contact, and strategies for rekindling the relationship.

While understanding these mechanisms is important, obsessing over the minute details can be paralyzing. The focus should instead be on broader personal growth and healing.

Lastly, the cycle frequently includes “what” questions, such as what the future holds or what steps one should take next. While planning and reflection are necessary, excessive speculation about an unpredictable future only serves to increase anxiety.

The antidote is to focus on the present, taking each day as it comes and finding joy in the journey of self-discovery and healing.

In conclusion, breaking free from the post-breakup thought cycle is about understanding its traps and actively choosing a path of self-empowerment and healing.

It involves recognizing the futility of certain questions, establishing empowering mental anchors, focusing on the present, and allowing the journey of healing to unfold naturally.

By adopting these strategies, individuals can navigate the post-breakup landscape with resilience, grace, and a renewed sense of hope.

ALSO SEE: How To Win Your Wife Back here on Life Coach Hub

What Makes An Ex Realize They Love You?

Rekindling Love: The Journey to Winning Your Ex Back

Introduction:

In the labyrinth of human emotions that follow a breakup, many navigate the turbulent desire to reunite with a lost love. While the severance of ties might bring immediate relief or empowerment to one, it also initiates a profound journey of reflection and realization. This article delves into the psychological stages an ex undergoes, potentially leading them back to acknowledging their love for you, post-breakup.

1.ย Realizing the possibility of loss:

Initially, after a breakup, your ex might feel empowered, much like a dictator who has absolute control. But as you initiate the no-contact rule and vanish from their daily life, they begin to experience an unfamiliar vulnerability. This abrupt shift from dominance to potential loss instigates a powerful psychological response. It’s not the desire to lose you that they had, but rather a misunderstanding of your value. As days turn into weeks without any sign of you, they might start to question their decision, ponder over what life genuinely means without your laughter, your support, and your presence. This seed of doubt, sprouting from the fear of potentially losing you forever, can become the catalyst for change.

2.ย Revival of attraction through absence

Attraction, a critical component of any relationship, can significantly diminish during tumultuous times, often culminating in a breakup. However, your deliberate absence can rekindle desire and appreciation. As you maintain a dignified distance, focusing on your personal growth and happiness, your ex is left to reminisce about the good times, the intimacy, and the joy you both shared. They begin to contrast their current loneliness with the warmth and fulfillment of your past togetherness. This period of solitude for your ex acts as a mirror, reflecting the stark contrast between the coldness of separation and the warmth of past affection, leading to an unexpected revival of attraction towards you.

3.ย The role of time and reflection

Time, the silent observer, gradually influences the hearts and minds post-breakup. In the initial days, your ex might feel a sense of liberation, but as the weeks roll by, a profound sense of emptiness might begin to take hold. They start to experience life devoid of your companionship, realizing the depth of the void left behind. This period allows for reflection, where memories begin to surface, not just as fleeting thoughts but as poignant reminders of the bond shared. Your absence transforms from a temporary state to a looming reality, sparking a desire to fill the growing void with the only thing that once made it whole โ€“ you.

4.ย Extending grace and understanding human nature

It is essential to recognize the inherent fallibility in all of us. We are beings of emotion and sometimes flawed judgment. The decision to part ways, though painful, is often a result of momentarily lost clarity and appreciation. In extending grace, you acknowledge not just their potential for realization and growth but also your capacity for understanding and forgiveness. It’s not about diminishing the hurt caused or the seriousness of the breakup but about recognizing the possibility of change, growth, and renewed love. Itโ€™s about believing in the capacity of human nature to rise above mistakes and rediscover love’s depth.

Conclusion:

Rekindling a lost love is a journey paved with introspection, realization, and emotional resurgence for both parties involved. It requires patience, strategic distance, and an understanding of human psychology. By adopting a thoughtful approach to post-breakup dynamics, you increase the chances of a meaningful reconciliation. It’s about more than just reuniting; it’s about fostering a renewed connection that is aware of the journey’s lessons and is ready to move forward with greater understanding and commitment.

5 Things To Do To Bring Your Ex Back

This is Coach Lee and in this guide, I’ll lead you through five essential tactics that significantly enhance the chances of reuniting with your former partner.

Reconciling after a breakup requires a deep understanding of the intricate psychology behind relationships. Here’s an outline of these essential tactics:

Embracing Detachment for Recovery: In the aftermath of a breakup, the immediate instinct might be to mend everything quickly. However, the initial step towards reconciliation is actually about letting go. Accepting the breakup allows your former partner to fully comprehend the ramifications of their decision. A brief resistance might plant seeds of reconsideration, but ultimately stepping back is crucial. This period of detachment allows your ex to genuinely miss and appreciate the relationship’s value.

The Power of Silence – No Contact Rule: No contact is an emotional strategy as much as it is a rule. Cutting off communication post-breakup isn’t just about creating absence; it’s about giving both parties the space to emotionally reset. This absence forces your ex to see the breakup’s reality, often leading to doubt which can make an ex miss you and the nuances of the shared bond.

Asserting Self-Respect: A breakup can often blur lines of respect and self-worth, especially concerning logistics and finances. Asserting fair treatment isn’t just about setting boundaries; it’s about self-respect and making your ex understand the full scope of their decision. By standing your ground on such matters, you reinforce your self-worth and make your ex feel the breakup’s independence.

Redefining Interactions: After the separation, it’s essential to shift how you interact with your ex. Continuing to treat them as a significant other only affirms their decision. Instead, adopting a stance of polite indifference makes the absence of your affection and support felt, pushing them to reassess the value of the lost relationship.

Believing in Your Shared Bond: Have faith in the depth and quality of the relationship you shared. If it was built on genuine mutual affection, understanding, and support, there’s a good chance your ex will recognize its worth during your absence. The realization often dawns as they compare others to what was uniquely shared with you, leading them to miss and possibly seek to reestablish the connection.

In Summary:

Patience, insight, and a strategic retreat are key to potentially winning your ex back. It’s about understanding the dynamics at play post-breakup and adjusting your actions to foster a possible reconciliation. Remember, while you can’t dictate your ex’s decisions, you can certainly influence the likelihood of a reunion through your well-thought-out approach and continued hope for a heartfelt reunion.

Trust in the process, and maintain a hopeful yet realistic outlook on the future of your relationship. Thank you for tuning in, and may your path to reconciliation be fruitful.

ALSO SEE: Games An Ex Plays When They Want You Back here on Life Coach Hub!

Stages of Breakup Regret For An Ex Partner

Navigating Regret: 5 Stages Your Ex Experiences After a Breakup

By Coach Lee

Breaking up is not just hard for the person left behind; those who initiate the breakup often go through their own cycle of regret and emotional upheaval.

Understanding these stages can give you insights into your ex’s mindset and possibly provide a roadmap to reconciliation. Here are the five stages your ex might experience when they begin to regret breaking up with you.

1. Discomfort with Doubt

After the breakup, both parties face the uncertainty of their decision, but for the one who initiated it, this doubt can be particularly uncomfortable.

They might start to question if they made the right choice, especially when they notice you’re not reaching out, pleading, or showing signs of emotional distress they expected.

This doubt is the first crack in their resolve and often the beginning of regret. It’s where they realize the breakup’s consequences might not be as rewarding or straightforward as they thought.

2. Seeking Reassurance

In this stage, your ex might reach out, not necessarily to reconcile but to reassure themselves of their worth and desirability.

They may drop hints or make statements wishing things were different, hoping you’ll respond with longing and affirmations.

This tactic is often about soothing their ego rather than a genuine desire to fix the relationship.

They want to confirm that you’re still an option, that you’re still there, pining for them, which, in their mind, elevates their worth.

3. The Rebound Attempt

Here, your ex might jump into a new relationship quickly after the breakup, known as a rebound.

This stage is about distraction and an attempt to validate themselves through someone else’s attention.

It’s a way to avoid facing the emotional void left by your absence and to prove to themselves (and possibly to you) that they can move on and be desired by others.

This is similar to what can happen in the stages of no contact.

However, rebounds are often shallow and short-lived as they’re based on avoidance rather than genuine connection.

4. Realization and Reflection

After some time has passed, the initial rush of freedom and new experiences starts to wane, and your ex is likely to reflect more deeply on the relationship they left behind.

They’ll remember the good times, the connection, and the love they took for granted.

It’s often in this stage that the reality of the loss sets in, and they begin to genuinely miss what you both had.

The realization can lead to a desire to reconnect, but fear of rejection or repeating past mistakes might hold them back.

5. Seeking a Safe Middle Ground

In the final stage of regret, your ex might try to bridge the gap by offering friendship or some form of continued connection.

It’s a safe way for them to keep you in their life without fully committing or admitting they want to get back together.

This offer of friendship can be a way for them to slowly rebuild the relationship or keep their options open as they navigate their feelings.

Conclusion:

Understanding these stages can provide comfort and strategy in dealing with a breakup. It’s crucial to recognize that these are typical human responses to loss and uncertainty.

If you’re hoping for reconciliation, knowing these stages can help you gauge where your ex might be emotionally and how you can respond. Remember, each relationship is unique, and while these stages offer a general framework, your journey might unfold differently.

ALSO SEE: What To Do When Your Spouse Wants A Divorce on Life Coach Hub.

Should I Ignore My Ex?

Navigating the No Contact Rule: Engaging vs. Ignoring Your Ex”
Introduction:

The no-contact rule is a staple in the playbook of getting an ex back, often shrouded in the concept of ‘playing hard to get.’ But is ignoring your ex the best strategy to rekindle their interest?

This article debunks common myths around the no-contact rule, especially the notion of completely ignoring an ex, to provide a nuanced strategy for those yearning for reconciliation.

1. Understanding the No Contact Rule:

No contact isn’t about erasing all forms of communication; it’s about not initiating contact. While some coaches suggest that ignoring your ex altogether might increase your desirability, this approach oversimplifies the complexities of human emotions and can often backfire.

If your goal is to move on entirely, the method of interaction matters less. However, if you’re aiming for reconciliation, ignoring your ex can diminish your chances rather than bolster them.

2. The Anxiety of the Dumper:

Often, we focus on the anxiety and pain of the person dumped, neglecting the turmoil the dumper might go through. Initiating a breakup doesn’t shield one from doubt or regret.

Your ex, too, might be grappling with the decision, fearing rejection, and feeling the weight of their actions. No contact allows them to experience the gravity of their choice genuinely, making them realize your value. But if they reach out, responding with consideration can make a significant impact.

3. Why Ignoring Can Lower Your Chances:

Ignoring your ex when they reach out might seem like a way to show strength or increase desire, but it lowers your odds on the get an ex back quiz and sends a message of rejection. It can confirm their fear that reconciliation isn’t possible, pushing them further away.

The first outreach from an ex is laden with anxiety; a cold shoulder can confirm their worst fears, potentially closing the door on the relationship permanently.

4. The Right Way to Respond:

Instead of ignoring, the recommendation is to engage politely and casually. If your ex reaches out, acknowledge them without desperation or coldness.

Treat them as an old friend, maintaining a balance of warmth and detachment. This response maintains your dignity, keeps the lines of communication open, and can intrigue your ex, making them reconsider the breakup’s finality.

5. Moving Forward with Caution:

If the conversation progresses towards reconciliation, proceed with caution. Express openness to discussion but emphasize taking things slowly to reassess the relationship.

Quick reconciliations often lead to repeat breakups as issues are glossed over. By taking a measured approach, you show self-respect and give both parties the chance to consider if getting back together is genuinely the right decision.

Conclusion:

While the no-contact rule is a powerful tool in getting your ex back, ignoring them completely when they reach out isn’t always the best strategy.

Understanding the emotional landscape post-breakup from both sides, responding with a balanced approach, and moving forward cautiously are key to potentially rekindling a relationship. It’s about maintaining dignity, emotional health, and open communication, all of which contribute to a more considered and mature reconciliation.

ALSO SEE: Stages of Regret for An Ex here on Life Coach Hub!

How To Win Your Wife Back

Rekindling the spark in marriage: A guide to winning back your wife

Introduction

In a world where relationships can sometimes drift apart, rekindling the love and connection in a marriage is a journey that many seek. This guide, inspired by Coach Lee’s advice, explores effective strategies for men to win back the hearts, attraction, and commitment of their wives.

It’s about understanding the nuances of positive interactions, shared hobbies, psychological anchoring, being a great parent, and making masculine statements.

You’re standing at a crossroads in your marriage, seeking to rekindle the flame that once burned bright between you and your wife. The path to winning her back is nuanced, requiring patience, understanding, and a series of deliberate actions. This journey is about more than just mending fences; it’s about rediscovering each other and rebuilding a stronger foundation for your future together.

1. The power of positive interaction

It’s crucial to create an environment where every exchange, even the seemingly small ones, plant seeds of positivity. This means actively seeking moments of kindness and warmth.

Whether itโ€™s a gentle good morning message, sharing a light-hearted story about your day, or just a simple compliment, these interactions gradually chip away at the wall of negativity that might have built up.

The first step in mending a strained relationship is to engage in positive interactions. When a marriage faces challenges, such as feelings of disrespect, loss of attraction, or even external influences, itโ€™s crucial to maintain a base level of positive communication. This doesnโ€™t mean avoiding tough conversations but steering clear of petty arguments and negativity. Every interaction should not be a path to conflict to win your wife back. Instead, focus on simple, pleasant exchanges โ€“ a good morning message, a funny story about the kids, or a shared memory. Such interactions keep the door open for future reconciliation and prevent the association of your relationship with constant strife.

2. Shared hobbies: Bonding over common interests

Living together or having frequent interactions with your spouse provides a unique opportunity to strengthen your bond through shared hobbies. Engaging in activities you both enjoy creates intimate experiences and helps restore the connection lost in the routine of life. Coach Lee suggests using resources like MarriageRadio.com to find common interests. The act of exploring hobbies together, whether it’s weekly or more often, can significantly enhance emotional, intellectual, and physical intimacy, reigniting lost attraction.

3. Psychological anchoring: Reviving cherished memories

Psychological anchoring involves gently steering your spouse’s thoughts towards positive shared experiences. By reminiscing about enjoyable past events, such as a memorable vacation or the birth of a child, you subtly remind your wife of the happier times in your relationship. This strategy aims to reshape her perception of you, bringing back memories of attraction and companionship. Initiating conversations about these memories and encouraging her to share her recollections can soften her perspective and revive hope for a renewed future together.

4. The role of a good father

Being an exemplary father is not only beneficial for your children but also attractive to your spouse. Demonstrating genuine care and involvement in your childrenโ€™s lives reinforces the bond between you and your wife. It’s about more than just telling her; it’s about showing her through your actions. This shared responsibility and joy in parenting can be a significant factor in bringing spouses closer, reminding them of the unique journey they are on together.

5. Masculine statements: Expressing desires and boundaries

Masculinity, when expressed healthily and respectfully, can be attractive. Making clear statements about your desires (โ€œI want toโ€ฆโ€) or decisions (โ€œIโ€™m going toโ€ฆโ€) can have a strong impact on attraction. These expressions showcase confidence, clarity, and assertiveness โ€“ traits often appreciated in a partner. Even in separated situations, communicating effectively through texts or calls, displaying assertiveness in decisions, or standing up for your beliefs can resonate positively with your spouse.

Conclusion: The marathon of reconciliation

Winning back your wife is not a sprint; itโ€™s a marathon. The deterioration of a relationship doesnโ€™t happen overnight, and neither does its revival. Patience, understanding, and a consistent application of these principles are essential. Coach Lee’s insights serve as a beacon of hope and a roadmap for men committed to reigniting the flame in their marriage. Remember, it’s not just about quick fixes; it’s about a sincere, long-term effort to rebuild and strengthen the bond you share with your wife.

ALSO SEE:  What To Do When Your Spouse Wants A Divorce here on Life Coach Hub!

What Usually Happens Before Your Ex Comes Back

Decoding the path to reconciliation: Understanding the process before an ex returns

Coach Lee here, delving into the subtle yet significant signs that often precede an ex’s return. These indicators, while seemingly minor, follow a recognizable pattern that I’ve come to identify through years of experience in relationship recovery. Trusting the process, especially the efficacy of no contact, is essential in navigating this journey.

Key steps before reconciliation:

1.ย Ceasing the pursuit

The initial sign of potential reconciliation is the acknowledgment from your ex that you’ve stopped actively trying to win them back. Contrary to instinct, relentless pursuit often drives them further away. Unless extreme circumstances like emotional abuse or infidelity are involved, overwhelming displays of affection post-breakup can be counterproductive.

2.ย The disappearance of the escape hatch:

Post-breakup, many expect a newfound sense of freedom or excitement. However, they often find reality falling short of expectations. The lack of anticipated pursuit from you can trigger questions about their attractiveness and desirability. This phase is crucial in making them reassess their decision to leave.

3.ย Experiencing the negative impact:

It’s vital that your ex confronts the consequences of the breakup. This means experiencing special occasions or accomplishments like your ex’s birthday or holidays without your presence or support. They must feel the weight of their decision, understanding that the breakup has real emotional costs.

4.ย Recognition of potential loss:

As time passes, your ex should start to realize that the breakup might lead to losing you permanently. This fear can be a powerful motivator in reconsidering their decision, especially as they witness signs of you moving on.

5.ย The need to earn you back:

It’s imperative that your ex feels the need to work towards regaining your trust and affection. If they perceive that getting back together is too easy, it diminishes the perceived value of the relationship. Making them earn your trust back ensures a healthier dynamic upon reconciliation.

The role of patience and strength

The process requires patience and inner strength. It’s about standing firm in your decision to implement no contact, showing that you respect their decision to end the relationship, but also that you have the resilience to move forward without them. This approach not only fosters personal growth but also enhances your attractiveness in their eyes.

Seeking further guidance

For more in-depth strategies and personalized advice, consider exploring resources like my Emergency Breakup Kit or booking a coaching session. These tools offer comprehensive guidance through the complexities of rekindling a relationship, ensuring you navigate these delicate stages with insight and confidence.

In conclusion, understanding the journey before an ex decides to return is critical. It involves a blend of patience, self-respect, and strategic withdrawal, creating an environment where reconciliation is not just possible but is approached with maturity and mutual respect. Remember, the goal is not just to get back together but to foster a relationship that is stronger and more resilient than before.

ALSO SEE: No Contact and the Power of Time here on Life Coach Hub

No Contact and the Power of Time

Navigating the journey of separation: The essential role of time and no contact

Exploring the dynamics of ‘No Contact’ and its relationship with time reveals deep insights into the post-breakup recovery and potential reconciliation. This concept, a central theme in my relationship coaching and video content, likens the process to the intricacies of baking, where time is a key component, essential and non-negotiable.

Cooling period and introspection

In scenarios where breakups are marked by intense disagreements and painful words, time serves as a crucial cooling element. It provides a necessary pause for both parties to reflect, and possibly recognize the salvageable aspects of their relationship. This period is crucial for emotions to settle and for a more rational reassessment of the situation.

Confirmation of the decision to break up

Breakups typically arenโ€™t sudden impulses but rather the result of extended periods of contemplation and dissatisfaction. Prior to initiating a breakup, your ex likely experienced a prolonged phase of doubt and disconnection. Post-breakup, they will similarly require time to validate their decision. Experiencing life in your absence is often key to understanding whether parting ways was the correct choice.

Experiencing the realities of separation

For your ex to truly comprehend their decision, itโ€™s essential they fully experience the separation. Continued contact can diminish the sense of loss, making it easier for them to move forward without fully confronting their choice. Talking or a closure letter to your ex will often only serve to delay the process. Thus, no contact is more than silence; itโ€™s about letting your ex endure and understand the implications of their decision.

The transformative effect of missing someone

The act of missing someone can be a powerful driver for change. Your exโ€™s realization of your value often emerges during extended periods of non-communication. This absence can foster a sense of longing, leading to a renewed perspective and appreciation for the relationship.

Reconnecting: The impact of time apart

When the moment for a potential reconnection arrives, the built-up emotions and memories can be overwhelming. If youโ€™ve focused on self-growth during the no contact period, this meeting becomes significantly impactful. Itโ€™s a convergence of longing and realization, potentially leading to a deeper appreciation and desire for rekindling the relationship.

Gradual rebuilding after union

Approaching a reunion cautiously and with patience is crucial. Rushing back into the relationship can cause regret and uncertainty. A gradual, careful rekindling of the relationship on a new, more robust foundation is vital for lasting success.

Conclusion

Time, coupled with the no contact rule, plays a crucial role in the healing process following a breakup. It allows for a cooling-off period, introspection, and a true understanding of the decision’s impact. For the one who was left, itโ€™s an opportunity for personal growth. For the ex, it’s a chance to miss and value the lost relationship. Ultimately, this process can lead to a more profound and meaningful reconnection, provided time is given its due respect in the journey of recovery.

Also see: Games An Ex Plays When They Want You Back here on Life Coach Hub.

What To Do When Your Spouse Wants A Divorce

Navigating the Stormy Seas of a Pending Divorce: A Guide to Coping and Understanding

Marriage, a journey often embarked upon with hopes of lifelong companionship, can sometimes face the grim reality of divorce.

When a spouse expresses a desire to part ways, the emotional whirlwind that ensues can be daunting.

Understanding how to navigate these troubled waters with grace and insight is crucial.

Understanding the Underlying Currents The first step in this challenging journey is to grasp the reasons behind your partner’s desire for separation.

This critical phase involves listening attentively and empathetically, recognizing that the issues at hand are likely deep-rooted and complex.

Acknowledging these reasons without defensive retorts is key.

Understanding that these problems have likely been simmering beneath the surface for some time is crucial for meaningful progress.

Steering Clear of Escalation In the initial phases, itโ€™s vital to avoid exacerbating the situation. Your response in these moments can significantly influence the course ahead. Refraining from immediate attempts to push back, counter their reasons, or to try to fix your marriage can help in preventing further deterioration of the relationship. The goal should be to maintain a calm and productive dialogue.

Harnessing the Power of Empathy and Sincere Apologies Empathy is an invaluable tool during these times. Putting yourself in your spouse’s shoes and understanding their feelings is crucial. Moreover, a genuine apology for any mistakes can be a significant step towards healing. Acknowledging your partner’s feelings is essential, even if you donโ€™t agree with their decision to divorce.

Communicating Your Feelings Thoughtfully While it’s important to understand your spouse’s perspective, your feelings also matter. Expressing your emotions calmly and clearly can lay a foundation for honest and open communication going forward. Itโ€™s about demonstrating to your spouse the person they fell in love with.

Laying the Groundwork for Future Reconciliation Conversations should be concluded in a manner that leaves the door open for future reconciliation.

Phrases like โ€œI hope in time, you might reconsiderโ€ can be effective. This approach ensures your spouse doesn’t feel cornered or pressured.

Building Positive Connections Re-establishing a positive connection is crucial. Reflecting on the early days of your relationship and trying to revive those initial feelings can be beneficial.

Itโ€™s important to show your spouse the warmth and companionship they once cherished.

Listening and Apologizing Without Excuses Active listening is key.

When discussing issues, listen without interruption and justify your actions only when necessary.

Sincere apologies can significantly mend strained relations.

Understanding and patience: Keys to potential reconciliation

Patience is crucial in these situations. Rebuilding trust and resolving issues is a gradual process that requires commitment from both partners. Itโ€™s about understanding each other anew and giving space for emotions like anger and frustration to be expressed.

Projecting a Future Together Subtly projecting a future together can be helpful. Avoid making overt promises, but hint at the possibility of a shared future.

This can be a subtle yet effective way of infusing hope into the relationship.

Being an Effective Co-parent and Partner If children are involved, effective co-parenting becomes paramount.

Demonstrating that you can be a supportive and understanding partner in daily life is equally important. This helps in rebuilding a sense of partnership and shared purpose.

Maintaining physical and emotional proximity

Physical presence and emotional closeness are essential. Staying in the same living space allows for continued interaction and connection. Emotional proximity involves staying connected, supportive, and caring.

Addressing Issues Calmly Addressing underlying issues is essential but should be done without conflict. Choose a calm and receptive time for such discussions and approach them without blame.

The Power of Teamwork in Daily Life Working as a team in daily life and parenting can help rebuild the sense of partnership. Insist on respect and unity, especially in front of children.

Seeking Professional Guidance Professional help, like marriage workshops, can unravel complex issues and help restore connection and understanding. Itโ€™s a step towards reconciliation and understanding each other better.

Rekindling emotional and physical intimacy

Working on rekindling both emotional and physical intimacy is essential. Start with emotional intimacy and gradually work towards reestablishing a physical connection.

Remaining Hopeful Yet Realistic While it’s important to remain hopeful, being realistic is equally crucial. Not all marriages can be saved, but this shouldn’t deter efforts to salvage what you have.

Creating a Support System Having a support system of friends, family, or support groups can offer emotional relief and practical advice. This support should be constructive and supportive of reconciliation efforts.

In conclusion, facing a potential divorce is a deeply emotional and complex experience. By approaching the situation with understanding, empathy, and a willingness to address underlying issues, there is a possibility for reconciliation, or at the very least, an amicable resolution. This process is about making gradual progress, maintaining hope, and understanding that every relationshipโ€™s journey is unique. Also see How To Get Your Husband or Wife Back During Separation.

Games An Ex Plays When They Want You Back

Navigating the Intricate Games of Exes: Insights from Coach Lee

In the realm of relationships and breakups, understanding the subtle games played by ex-partners can be both intriguing and challenging. Coach Lee, a seasoned expert in relationship dynamics, offers a comprehensive guide to interpreting these games in his insightful video. This article delves into the nuances of these games, offering a deeper understanding for those grappling with the complexities of post-breakup interactions.

1. The Friendship Ploy

One common tactic employed by exes is the offer of friendship. This often occurs a few weeks post-breakup, a period when distance and reflection have set in. Contrary to initial appearances, this is not always a straightforward offer. Itโ€™s a strategic move, born out of a mix of longing and uncertainty. The ex isn’t necessarily sure about wanting you back but is also apprehensive about the growing distance. This ambiguity is a significant sign, especially if it aligns with other behaviors or consistent contact.

2. Displaying Anger over Lack of Contact

A less frequent, yet notable game involves the ex showing resentment because you haven’t reached out post-breakup. This reaction can seem paradoxical since they initiated the breakup. However, it’s a manifestation of their expectations and assumptions being challenged. Itโ€™s a test to see if you are still emotionally invested in them.

3. The Jealousy Bait

Another manipulative strategy is what Coach Lee terms as the ‘jealousy bait.’ Here, an ex might intentionally display themselves with a new romantic interest to provoke a reaction from you. It’s a calculated move to boost their ego by making them feel more desirable and to gauge your interest level. In such cases, Coach Lee advises maintaining a composed demeanor, not reacting to such provocations.

4. Feigning Concern with ‘Are You Okay?’ Messages

An ex reaching out to check on your well-being might appear considerate at first glance. However, it could be a subtle game to trigger a response from you, reaffirming their importance in your life. It’s a tactic to coax you into showing continued interest or concern, thereby boosting their ego.

5. The Status of Belongings

Finally, a common game revolves around the status of personal belongings. An ex might create situations around retrieving or returning items as a pretext for maintaining contact or as a symbol of reluctance to fully let go. This hesitance can signify lingering feelings or an unwillingness to close the chapter completely.

Understanding and Responding to These Games

Navigating these games requires a blend of insight, patience, and emotional intelligence. Coach Lee emphasizes the importance of not responding in kind but maintaining a calm, collected demeanor. Showing strength and confidence to games an ex plays, without hostility or excessive eagerness, can be pivotal in these interactions.

Moreover, Coach Lee advises against accepting the offer of friendship on face value. Instead, he suggests engaging with an ex-partner in a manner that maintains your dignity and self-respect. This involves not acting like a friend but still displaying polite, nonchalant behavior.

When faced with expressions of anger or concern from an ex, a casual and unbothered response is key. It demonstrates maturity and self-assuredness, qualities that are attractive and may even shift the dynamics of your interaction.

In the case of jealousy bait, the recommended approach is to not engage or show any visible reaction. This stoic response can be disarming and may even lead to a reconsideration of their tactics.

Finally, dealing with the issue of belongings should be handled with a pragmatic and unemotional approach. Demonstrating that you are moving on, irrespective of their actions, is essential.

Conclusion

Understanding the psychology behind an ex’s actions post-breakup is crucial in navigating these waters. Coach Lee’s insights offer a roadmap for dealing with these situations effectively. It’s about striking a balance between showing self-respect and not falling prey to manipulative games. By maintaining a composed and confident demeanor, one can navigate these complex emotional terrains with dignity and grace.

Also see on Life Coach Hub: How To Move On After A Breakup – Even If You’re Still In Love

Can You Strengthen A Broken Marriage?

Strengthening your marriage: A practical guide

Marriage is an intricate dance between two individuals, each with unique needs and aspirations. Far from being a static entity, it requires continual nurturing and understanding. This guide delves into practical ways to enhance your marital relationship, focusing on personal connections and mutual respect.

Rethinking the ‘fix-it’ approach

Often, we mistakenly view marriage as a machine that occasionally needs fixing. This outlook can lead to a disconnection, as it shifts the focus from the vital personal bond to an abstract concept of ‘marriage.’ A healthy relationship centers on the interactions and emotional needs of both partners, not just the external structure of the union.

Balance in give and take

A key to marital harmony is maintaining a balance where both partners feel equally valued. Disparities in this give-and-take can cause one partner to feel neglected or overburdened, leading to simmering resentments. Recognizing and addressing these imbalances is crucial for a lasting and fulfilling relationship.

Lessons from lockdown

The 2020-2021 pandemic lockdowns brought unexpected insights into marriage. Contrary to fears, many couples found their relationships strengthened. The shared challenges and limited external interactions heightened the importance of companionship and support, underlining the value of a supportive partner during tough times.

Fostering desire and meeting needs

Feeling liked, loved, and desired is central to a healthy marriage. Neglect in these areas can slowly erode the relationship, often reaching a point of disrepair. Regularly nurturing these aspects ensures that both partners feel appreciated and valued.

The importance of self-improvement

An often overlooked aspect of a healthy marriage is the individual growth of each partner. By striving to improve oneself โ€“ mentally, emotionally, and physically โ€“ you not only enrich your own life but also positively impact the relationship which might often helps get your spouse back. This mutual evolution promotes deeper intimacy and satisfaction.

Honoring your partner’s needs

In conflicts, it’s natural to want to hold on tighter. However, respecting your partner’s wishes, even if it means temporary separation, can sometimes strengthen the relationship. This step, albeit difficult, can lead to a deeper appreciation and understanding of the relationship’s value.

Long-term strategies for reconciliation

Addressing marital issues often requires a long-term strategy focused on understanding and meeting each other’s needs and respecting boundaries. This process involves self-awareness and patience, acknowledging that healing and rebuilding are gradual.

Accepting the outcome

Sometimes, despite best efforts, a relationship might not endure. Accepting this outcome is essential, focusing on personal growth and healing. Understanding that you cannot control another’s feelings is key to moving forward.

Conclusion

Enhancing a marriage goes beyond simple fixes. It involves a deep, personal connection with your partner, understanding their emotional needs, and continuously nurturing the bond. Whether through mutual respect, self-improvement, or accepting hard truths, the journey to a stronger marriage is a continuous process of learning, understanding, and growing together.

Also see this post on Life Coach Hub: My Husband Hates Me, What Can I Do? 

How To Move On After A Breakup When Still In Love With Your Ex

Coach Lee lays out how to move on after a breakup when you are still in love with an ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend.

If you have been left and feel it is time to move on or get over a breakup and your ex, this powerful video will help you see the way forward and how to move on.

If you want to know how you can get over a breakup, how you can move on after a breakup, and how get over your ex after a long term relationship when you are still in love, the task may seem impossible or extremely difficult.

Coach Lee explains why this is the case and how you can make progress in moving on after a breakup with a boyfriend or girlfriend into an emotionally healthier place and, if you want, to find a loving romantic relationship in your future.

The best way to move on after a breakup and how to get over a breakup is often not the most obvious or what well-intentioned friends might often tell us.

Understanding the process, including how grief works, can be extremely helpful in this type of situation when moving forward seems out of reach.

Be sure to watch the steps to moving on that Coach Lee discusses in this powerful and helpful video.

Also see, Signs Your Ex Wants You Back, here on Life Coach Hub!

Getting Your Husband or Wife Back During Separation

Getting Your Husband or Wife Back During Separation

The journey to reunite during separation is one that necessitates patience, understanding, and a steadfast dedication to mending the bond between partners.

This guide delves into essential strategies for couples who aspire to rekindle their relationship, highlighting the critical roles of communication, mutual respect, and adaptability throughout this process.

Fostering Positive Exchanges A pivotal step in reigniting the spark in a relationship after separation is the initiation of positive exchanges.

Fostering positive exchanges transcends basic communication; itโ€™s about rebuilding an emotional connection.

Activities such as revisiting cherished locales, indulging in pastimes that previously brought happiness, or simply enjoying undisturbed time together can be instrumental in this process.

Acknowledging and celebrating each small triumph in the relationship is also important, as these acknowledgments can greatly enhance morale and drive.

Considering that discussions about issues in the marriage have likely already occurred, there’s no need to continuously dwell on negative topics.

Hence, the emphasis on โ€œpositiveโ€ exchanges is crucial.

Now is the time to heal through uncomplicated, positive interactions that steer clear of reverting to arguments or other adverse dynamics.

Partaking in shared hobbies and interests can be a meaningful way to reestablish a positive connection. Exploring our list of hobbies for married couples may offer some inspiration.

Prioritizing and Cultivating Peace in Your Partnership Strategies for Reconciling After Separation The commitment to fostering peace is crucial for a harmonious reconciliation.

This involves valuing the well-being of the relationship over personal pride or the compulsion to be correct.

Seeking mutually beneficial solutions and handling conflicts collaboratively, rather than confrontationally, is key.

This commitment also encompasses practicing empathy, attempting to understand your partner’s viewpoint, and being ready to compromise for the relationshipโ€™s benefit.

Peace in a relationship means not just the absence of conflict, but the existence of harmony and mutual comprehension.

This involves consciously practicing patience, kindness, and forgiveness in everyday interactions.

Paying attention to and learning to defuse potentially contentious discussions is also important.

Employing mindful listening techniques, which involve fully engaging with your partnerโ€™s perspective, can greatly aid in preserving peace.

Resuming Cohabitation The decision to move back in together should be made thoughtfully and strategically.

Setting clear expectations and boundaries is crucial to ensure both partners are comfortable with the new living arrangements.

This may entail discussions about household duties, personal space, and financial contributions.

Approaching this step as a team, where both partners feel equally involved and respected, is vital.

Exploring Traditional Roles in Marriage Considerations for Reuniting After Separation For some, embracing a traditional marriage model with distinct gender roles may simplify dynamics and alleviate stress.

This method entails each partner assuming conventional roles, potentially providing structure and predictability in the relationship.

While not suitable for everyone, a traditional marriage with defined roles can offer stability for many couples.

It’s essential that both partners willingly accept and adapt these roles, which may vary from traditional norms, to fit their unique relationship.

Revitalizing Intimacy The role of Sexual Fulfillment in Marriage Sexual fulfillment is a cornerstone of a healthy marital relationship.

Post-separation, it’s vital for couples to reconnect physically in a mutually satisfying manner.

This requires open dialogue about sexual preferences and a readiness to explore and respect each other’s desires.

A satisfying sexual relationship enhances the emotional connection between partners and is a crucial aspect of intimacy.

A healthy sexual relationship is founded on trust, openness, and continuous communication about preferences and boundaries.

Seeking professional guidance, such as marriage coaching, can be beneficial in addressing deeper intimacy and sexual fulfillment issues.

Adopting a No-Yelling Rule During Conflicts Implementing a policy of no yelling during disagreements can significantly uphold respect and civility, even in tense moments.

Yelling can intensify conflicts and cause emotional harm, hindering productive communication.

Instead, agreeing to pause and resume discussions when both partners are calm fosters a more respectful and constructive dialogue.

Adopting a no-yelling rule is about creating a culture of respect and empathy.

Developing strategies to manage emotions, such as deep breathing, pausing conversations, or writing down thoughts, can be helpful.

The aim is to express emotions constructively, not suppress them.

Embracing Forgiveness and a Fresh Start The act of forgiveness is key to moving beyond the issues that led to separation.

Forgiveness means choosing not to let past grievances control the relationship’s future.

Mutual agreement to forgive signifies a commitment to letting go of resentment and bitterness, allowing a fresh start.

True forgiveness may involve deep reflection, discussions about past hurts, and possibly the assistance of a marriage coach or workshop.

It’s about recognizing past pain, learning from it, and consciously choosing to move forward without the burden of past grievances.

Self-forgiveness is also important, as holding onto guilt can be as harmful as holding onto resentment.

Conclusion: The Road to Reunion Post-Separation Reuniting after separation is a path that demands effort, comprehension, and unwavering commitment from both parties.

By fostering positive exchanges, dedicating to peace, resuming cohabitation, exploring traditional roles, ensuring sexual fulfillment, maintaining respectful communication during disagreements, and embracing forgiveness, couples can forge a stronger, more resilient union.

It’s essential to acknowledge that each couple’s journey is distinct, and what is effective for one may not be for another.

Openness, flexibility, and a willingness to adapt are essential in discovering the appropriate balance for successful reconciliation.

Reconciliation post-separation is not only about the desire to reunite but also about action, commitment, and a willingness to grow both as individuals and as a couple.

Through deliberate efforts in communication, understanding, and patience, couples can emerge from this experience more robust and deeply connected than ever.

Sincerely,

Coach Lee

My Husband Hates Me. What Can A Wife Do If Her Husband Hates Her?

What you can do if your husband hates you

In the intricate dance of marriage, the disheartening realization that your husband harbors feelings of animosity can be both bewildering and painful.

When faced with such a situation, it’s crucial to navigate these troubled waters with sensitivity, wisdom, and patience.

Understanding the Gravity of the Situation

It’s important to recognize the gravity of feeling hated in a marriage. This emotional turmoil can lead to a sense of isolation, decreased self-esteem, and a pervasive sadness that can permeate all aspects of life. Acknowledging these feelings is the first step towards healing.

Prioritizing Intimacy and Affection

In many marriages, physical intimacy acts as a barometer for the relationship’s health.

Prioritizing sex isn’t about mere physicality; it’s about re-establishing a connection that transcends the mundane aspects of life. It’s about rekindling a flame that once burned brightly, offering warmth and light to both partners. Especially note what Coach Lee says in the video about how sex connects a husband to his wife and vice versa.

Cultivating Respect

Mutual respect is the cornerstone of any successful relationship. Showing respect doesn’t mean acquiescence or loss of individuality; rather, it’s about valuing your husband’s opinions, giving space for his thoughts and feelings, and appreciating his contributions to your life and family.

Allowing Him Space to Think Aloud

Creating a safe space for your husband to express himself without fear of judgment or immediate response can be profoundly transformative. It’s not about agreeing with everything he says but about providing a non-confrontational space where his voice can be heard and understood.

Being a Sanctuary of Peace

Striving to be a peaceful presence in your husband’s life involves minimizing stress and conflict. It means cultivating an environment where tranquility prevails, where both of you can retreat from the outside world’s chaos and find solace in each other’s company.

Engaging in Shared Interests

Reconnecting over shared interests can reignite the spark that initially brought you together. Whether it’s a hobby, a sport, or a mutual love for a particular type of cuisine, these shared experiences can foster closeness and provide a break from the routine of daily life.

Exhibiting Patience and Understanding

Patience is not just a virtue but a necessity in such situations. Understanding that change doesn’t happen overnight and giving your husband the time he needs to work through his feelings is essential.

Showing Appreciation

Often, the daily grind can make us forget to express gratitude. Regularly showing appreciation for the big and small things your husband does can foster a positive atmosphere in your relationship.

Creating Moments of Joy and Laughter

Joy and laughter can be powerful antidotes to hatred and resentment. Finding opportunities to laugh together, whether it’s through humor, shared experiences, or light-hearted activities, can help bridge the emotional gap.

Conclusion

Navigating a marriage where your husband harbors feelings of hatred is undoubtedly challenging. However, by focusing on rebuilding intimacy, respect, and understanding, and by cultivating a peaceful and joyful environment, it’s possible to reignite the lost warmth and love in your relationship. Remember, the journey to reconciliation is a marathon, not a sprint, and requires patience, dedication, and, above all, a deep love for each other. 

What If My Wife Hates Me?

In this insightful video, Coach Lee explores the complex and often misunderstood dynamics of marital relationships, specifically focusing on situations where one feels unloved or disliked by their spouse.

The video is structured as a comprehensive guide, offering practical advice and strategies to those who suspect their wife may harbor negative feelings towards them.

Key topics include:

-Understanding the Signs:

Coach Lee starts by identifying common indicators that suggest your wife may be feeling negatively towards you. This includes changes in communication, affection, and general behavior.

-Communication Techniques: Learn how to open effective and non-confrontational lines of communication. Coach Lee discusses how to express your feelings and concerns without placing blame, fostering a safe space for honest dialogue.

-Empathy and Perspective: Gain insights into understanding your wife’s perspective. Coach Lee explores the importance of empathy and how understanding her feelings and experiences can lead to greater mutual understanding.

-Behavioral Changes and Self-Improvement: Coach Lee covers how personal growth and behavioral changes can positively impact your relationship. This includes tips on self-reflection, identifying and working on your own shortcomings, and understanding how your actions affect your spouse.

Your Ex’s Brain During The Relief Stage

In this video, Coach Lee discusses what your ex thinks, feels, and experiences in the relief stage, which is the first stage after they broke up with you. Learn more about this stage and why your ex is doing the things that they are doing.

Signs Your Spouse Is Cheating and Having An Affair

Do you suspect that your spouse might be having an affair, a.k.a. unfaithful but can’t put your finger on why? Are you feeling uneasy about changes in your relationship? Do you suspect that your spouse might be unfaithful but can’t put your finger on why? In this video, we delve into the subtle signs and clues that may indicate your spouse is having an affair. Infidelity can be a painful and challenging issue to address in a relationship. It’s often shrouded in secrecy, making it hard to identify. However, there are certain behavioral patterns and changes that can serve as potential indicators. This video aims to shed light on these signs with sensitivity and care, helping you understand what might be happening behind the scenes in your relationship. Navigating the complexities of a relationship where infidelity is suspected is incredibly challenging. This video is here to guide you through understanding and handling these situations with the compassion and support you deserve.

My Wife Won’t Talk To Me

When communication breaks down in a marriage, particularly when a wife ceases to speak to her husband, it can create a sense of confusion, frustration, and even despair.

This guide, inspired by Coach Leeโ€™s insights, aims to offer practical advice for husbands facing the challenging situation of a wife who wonโ€™t talk to him.

Re-establishing communication in your marriage requires patience, empathy, and a willingness to adapt and grow.

By taking an interest in your wifeโ€™s hobbies, appreciating the value of silence, addressing the silent treatment appropriately, encouraging honest communication, finding shared activities, and showing love through small acts, you can create a nurturing environment for your relationship to flourish.

Remember, the journey to improved communication is continuous and requires both partnersโ€™ commitment to understand and support each other. 

Should You Ever Break No Contact?

Should you ever break no contact to reach out to your ex when you were broken up with? Is no contact permanent or is there a time when you can break no contact by reaching out to your ex again? Is the no contact rule permanent?

Listen to Coach Lee’s thoughts on this and consider it within your situation. In this video, Coach Lee delves into the concept of maintaining distance post-breakup, exploring its benefits and pondering the appropriateness of initiating contact when your former partner remains silent. He addresses the stance of certain relationship experts who advocate for a strict policy of not contacting an ex after a breakup.

Coach Lee challenges this view, arguing from a standpoint of practicality. Renowned for endorsing the no contact approach, Coach Lee, in this video, clarifies that his coaching philosophy is rooted in effective strategies rather than merely appealing theories. Wondering if the no contact rule should always be upheld? Tune in to hear Coach Lee’s perspective, and see how it applies to the personal circumstances of your breakup and relationship. 

The TRUTH About Saving Your Marriage

In this insightful and transformative video, viewers are taken on an explorative journey to understand the complexities, challenges, and potential solutions for revitalizing and strengthening a marriage.

The video commences with a serene and welcoming introduction, inviting audiences of all backgrounds and experiences to engage in an open and honest dialogue about the realities of marriage.

Coach Lee begins by debunking common myths surrounding marriage, emphasizing that no relationship is perfect and that every marriage faces its unique set of challenges. He stresses the importance of realistic expectations, highlighting that the portrayal of marriage in media and popular culture that often skews our perception of what a healthy relationship truly looks like.

Diving deeper into the subject, the video explores the common causes of marital strife. The narrative then shifts to focus on the significance of emotional connection and intimacy in a marriage.

Coach Lee illustrates how the hustle and bustle of daily life can lead to disconnection, and he provides actionable advice on how to rekindle the flame and foster a deeper emotional bond.

They highlight the importance of quality time, affection, and appreciation, encouraging couples to prioritize their relationship amidst their busy schedules.

Resilience and commitment are the next topics of discussion, with the host emphasizing that saving a marriage requires a mutual decision to work through the tough times together.

Coach Lee explains that couples who have successfully navigated through rough patches do so with determination, empathy, and effort and their relationship can emerge stronger on the other side.

Coach Lee delves into the importance of individual growth and self-care within a marriage. He explains that for a relationship to thrive, both partners must also invest in their personal development and well-being.

They provide viewers with strategies for maintaining their individuality while nurturing their marital bond, striking a healthy balance between togetherness and independence.

The significance of forgiveness and letting go of past hurts is another critical theme explored in the video. Coach Lee outlines the transformative power of forgiveness, explaining that holding onto resentment and bitterness only serves to erode the foundation of a marriage.

Coach Lee guides viewers through the process of forgiveness, encouraging them to release past grievances and embrace a future of healing and growth. As the video nears its conclusion, Lee reflects on the journey of saving a marriage, emphasizing that it is an ongoing process that requires constant attention and effort.

He inspires viewers to approach their marriage relationship with a growth mindset, viewing challenges as opportunities for development rather than insurmountable obstacles.

The video wraps up with a heartfelt message of hope and empowerment, assuring viewers that while saving a marriage is no easy feat, it is indeed possible with the right mindset, tools, and commitment.

Coach Lee encourages couples to remain steadfast in their journey, reminding them that the rewards of a strong, loving, and resilient marriage are well worth the effort.

Throughout the video, Coach Lee’s expertise, compassion, and genuine desire to help couples navigate the complexities of marriage shine through, creating a powerful and transformative viewing experience.

โ€œThe Truth About Saving A Marriageโ€ stands as a testament to the resilience of love and the transformative power of commitment, providing couples with the knowledge, tools, and inspiration they need to build a stronger, happier, and more fulfilling relationship. 

Life’s Hacks video Day 1 -Do I have any reason to be thankful for?

Today It is very tough to be thankful. Because we live in World that is thankless. So when we live in an environment which thankless it is easy not to realize what we can be thankful for. For example โ€“ One of the first things I ask people when I become their life coach is what they thankful for are. Many people can think about one or two things which are start however some cannot think about any. So I tell them to Ask others what are Good things they see happening in a personโ€™s life. So they write and bring it to me. You will be shocked that everyone has something to be thankful for. So if you cannot recognize what you can be thankful for you can ask several people to list one thing that they see as good happening. These people may be your family members, friends, work colleague, or people you spend a lot of time with. Try it

What Is My Ex Feeling After Breaking Up?

Looking for that discount code for Coach Lee’s Emergency Breakup Kit? It’s SCD14 and you enter it at https://myexbackcoach.com/checkout/?level=1

In the ever-evolving landscape of relationships, Coach Lee stands as a beacon of wisdom, guiding countless individuals through the tumultuous journey of heartbreak.

In his thought-provoking YouTube video titled “What is my ex feeling after breaking up with me?”

Coach Lee delves deep into the complex realm of post-breakup emotions.

With a blend of compassion and expert insight, he takes viewers on an 850-word journey, unveiling the five key factors that dictate an ex’s feelings after a breakup.

1. The Quality of the Relationship: Coach Lee’s exploration begins with a fundamental factorโ€”the quality of the relationship itself.

He emphasizes that the emotions an ex experiences after a breakup are significantly influenced by the nature of the connection that was severed.

In a loving, nurturing relationship, the aftermath may be marked by sorrow, regret, and longing.

On the other hand, if the relationship was marked by toxicity, resentment, and strife, the feelings post-breakup may be mixed with relief and freedom.

Coach Lee’s empathetic approach shines through as he encourages viewers to reflect on the strengths and weaknesses of their previous relationship.

By doing so, he believes individuals can better understand the emotional landscape their ex-partner is navigating and, in turn, gain insight into their own healing process.

2. The Dumped Person’s Response to the Breakup: The next facet of Coach Lee’s analysis revolves around the response of the person who was dumped.

He explains that the reactions and behaviors exhibited by the person left behind can significantly impact the emotional trajectory of both parties.

If the dumped person responds to the breakup with grace, acceptance, and self-respect, it is more likely to leave a positive impression on the ex.

Coach Lee stresses the importance of maintaining one’s dignity and self-worth during this vulnerable time.

He advises viewers not to resort to begging, pleading, or confrontations, as these actions often push the ex further away. Instead, he advocates for self-improvement and personal growth as a means of demonstrating strength and maturity.

3. Influences from Surroundings: Coach Lee’s third point touches upon the external factors that influence an ex’s feelings post-breakup.

He explains that friends, family, and social circles can play a pivotal role in shaping an individual’s perspective during this tumultuous period.

If close friends and family members are supportive of the relationship, they may encourage reconciliation, thus affecting the ex’s emotions.

On the contrary, if the ex’s inner circle is critical of the relationship, this can lead to a sense of validation for the decision to break up.

Coach Lee advises viewers to be mindful of these external influences and consider their potential impact on their ex’s feelings. It’s a reminder that post-breakup dynamics are not isolated events but are often influenced by a web of relationships and social dynamics.

4. The Common Confusion: One of the most relatable aspects of Coach Lee’s video is his acknowledgment of the common confusion experienced by both parties post-breakup.

He empathizes with the uncertainty that can shroud the emotional state of an ex-partner.

In a breakup, confusion can manifest in various waysโ€”mixed signals, hot-and-cold behavior, and abrupt changes in communication patterns.

Coach Lee reassures viewers that this confusion is entirely normal. He attributes it to the emotional turbulence that often accompanies the end of a relationship.

Understanding this concept can provide comfort to those grappling with the ambiguity of their ex’s feelings, offering a sense of clarity amidst the chaos. 5. Intimacy Withdrawal: Coach Lee’s final point delves into the concept of intimacy withdrawal. He elucidates that after a breakup, individuals may exhibit behaviors characterized by a desire for emotional and physical distance.

This withdrawal can be perplexing to the person left behind, as it may seem counterintuitive to the love and connection that once existed.

Coach Lee clarifies that this withdrawal is often a self-protective mechanism.

It serves as a means for the ex to process their emotions, heal, and gain perspective.

He advises viewers to respect their ex’s need for space and not take it personally.

Understanding that this withdrawal is a part of the healing process can foster empathy and patience.

Throughout the video, Coach Lee’s compassionate tone and genuine desire to help others through their heartbreak are palpable.

He encourages viewers to focus on self-improvement, personal growth, and self-love as a means of not only healing but also potentially reigniting the spark of a past relationship.

SUBSCRIBE To Coach Lee!

No Contact Rule If You Have Children Together

No Contact Rule When You Have Kids Together: A Comprehensive Guide by Coach Lee for people who have been broken up with by someone with whom they have children.

The complications of relationships are profound, and when separation or breakup occurs, it becomes even more intricate if children are involved.

On his YouTube channel, Coach Lee addresses this sensitive topic in his video entitled, “No Contact Rule When You Have Kids Together.”

At its core, the ‘No Contact Rule’ emphasizes distance and non-communication with an ex to heal and possibly rekindle the relationship. However, when children come into play, a straight-forward ‘No Contact Rule’ isn’t feasible. Thus, Coach Lee presents a modified version that considers the needs of children and the inevitable interdependencies that arise.

What Is Your Spouse Thinking During Separation?

Dive deep into the intricate thoughts and emotions of what a spouse is thinking during separation from their marriage. In this enlightening video, relationship expert Coach Lee unravels the complex web of feelings, doubts, and decisions that lead to separation. If you’re trying to comprehend the psyche of a departed spouse, or if you’re navigating the rough waters of a separation yourself, this video offers invaluable insights.

The Emotional Turmoil of Separation: Second Thoughts, Doubts, and Longing Separation, especially when it involves ending a long-term marital commitment, is rarely a simple decision.

The complexity of emotions, shared experiences, and deep bonds formed over the years make such decisions particularly challenging. Consequently, it is not uncommon for a spouse who initiates the separation to experience second thoughts, doubts, and even miss the spouse they left. The narrative that the “leaver” is always sure of their decision or never looks back is far from the truth.

The Weight of Second Thoughts When a person decides to leave their spouse, the reasons might seem crystal clear at the moment. Perhaps there were chronic issues like disagreements, dissatisfaction, or even more severe problems like infidelity. However, as days turn into weeks and weeks into months, the initial clarity can become clouded by memories of happier times, the shared laughter, the milestones celebrated together, and the challenges overcome as a team. The negative aspects that prompted the separation can, at times, be overshadowed by these golden memories, leading to second thoughts.

Moreover, humans are inherently averse to loss. The loss aversion theory, a foundational concept in behavioral economics, suggests that people feel the pain of losing something more acutely than the pleasure of gaining something of equal value. In the context of relationships, leaving a spouse often confronts the individual with a profound sense of loss. This realization can trigger second thoughts, making one wonder if they made the right choice or if things could have been resolved.

The Creeping Doubts Doubt can be a constant companion after a major life decision, and separation is no exception. A spouse who has chosen to leave might frequently ask themselves: “Did I try hard enough?”, “Were my reasons valid, or were they impulsive?”, “Could we have salvaged our relationship with counseling or external help?”. These questions can plague the mind, especially during moments of solitude. Furthermore, seeing their left spouse move on or find happiness can amplify these doubts.

The natural human tendency to compare oneself with others can lead to thoughts like, “Did I give up too soon?” or “Were they the better half in our relationship?”. Such doubts can be incredibly tormenting, keeping the person in a state of emotional limbo. The Longing and Missing Beyond second thoughts and doubts, there’s an emotional element that’s often hard to shake off – the genuine missing and longing for the spouse left behind.

Relationships, especially marriages, are a tapestry of countless shared moments, both monumental and mundane. The comforting routine of morning coffee chats, the silent understanding after a tough day, the shared jokes, or the simple joy of mutual hobbies โ€“ these become irreplaceable. As humans, we are wired for connection. The oxytocin released when bonding with a partner creates feelings of warmth, trust, and intimacy. Even if a relationship has its problems, the oxytocin-driven bond doesn’t disappear overnight. This biochemical connection, combined with shared memories, can lead to intense feelings of missing the departed spouse.

Moreover, certain triggers, like a song, a place, or even a specific date, can bring back a flood of memories, intensifying the feeling of longing. Special occasions, like anniversaries or mutual friends’ gatherings, can be particularly challenging, as they highlight the absence of the left spouse, making their presence deeply missed.

Navigating the Emotional Labyrinth It’s essential to acknowledge that having second thoughts, doubts, or missing the spouse does not necessarily indicate a mistake. Emotions are multifaceted, and feelings of longing or doubt don’t invalidate the reasons that led to the separation in the first place. On the other side, the spouse who was left (chose the separation) should also recognize that their partner’s potential doubts or feelings of missing don’t always translate into a desire for reconciliation. It’s a manifestation of the intricate emotional web that relationships weave over time. 

Was I Wrong About The No Contact Rule

In a candid and introspective session, renowned relationship coach, Coach Lee, revisits one of the pillars of his coaching advice โ€“ The No Contact Rule.

After years of advocating for its effectiveness, he takes a step back and poses the challenging question: “Was I Wrong About No Contact?”

Throughout this video:

? Coach Lee dives into the genesis of the No Contact philosophy, recalling the early days of its introduction to his coaching arsenal.

? Reflects on success stories, failures, and the in-betweens that have shaped his understanding of this method.

? Ponders over the possibility of having misjudged or oversimplified its application for diverse relationship scenarios.

? Invites feedback from the community, opening the floor for genuine conversations and stories about real-life experiences with the No Contact Rule.

Whether you’ve been a long-time subscriber or are just tuning in, join Coach Lee in this journey of reflection and discovery. Your insights might just reshape the future of relationship recovery! 

My Spouse Says They Don’t Love Me Anymore

In “What To Do When Your Spouse Says They Don’t Love You Anymore,” renowned relationship expert Coach Lee delves into the emotional turmoil and heartache that comes when a partner utters those dreaded words.

This enlightening video not only offers a compassionate understanding of the emotions at play but also provides actionable steps and strategies to navigate this challenging time. Coach Lee draws from years of experience to guide viewers on how to:

-Process and understand their own emotions.

-Approach the conversation with empathy and patience.

-Evaluate the underlying causes and triggers for this revelation.

-Reinvent the relationship dynamics and reignite the flame.

-Seek professional help and support when needed.

Signs Your Ex Wants You Back

Navigating the complex world of post-breakup dynamics can leave anyone feeling like they’re walking on eggshells. One minute you’re trying to move on, and the next, you’re noticing peculiar behavior from your ex that makes you wonder if there’s more to the story. In this intriguing video, “Signs My Ex Wants Me Back,” we’re delving into five telltale signs that might indicate your ex has a change of heart. From subtle online interactions to real-life encounters, we’ll explore these signs in-depth, helping you decode the mixed signals and uncover the truth.

Will Separation Save Your Marriage?

Coach Lee answers the question, “Will separation save my marriage?”

In this thought-provoking YouTube video, Coach Lee delves deep into a question that many struggling couples often ponder: “Can Separation Save My Marriage?”

With his wealth of experience and insightful perspective, Coach Lee provides a comprehensive analysis of the potential impact of separation on a struggling marriage relationship. Relationships are complex and multifaceted journeys that require constant effort, understanding, and compromise from both partners.

When a marriage hits a rough patch, the idea of separation can seem like a tempting solution, a way to take a step back and gain perspective. However, Coach Lee urges viewers to think critically before embarking on such a path, as the repercussions of separation might not always align with their ultimate goals of saving the marriage.

At the heart of Coach Lee’s argument is the notion that separation can inadvertently yield counterproductive results. While some may believe that distance can reignite passion and bring clarity, Coach Lee presents a compelling counterargument. He explains that separation can indeed lead to a temporary sense of relief for both partners.

This sense of relief, however, can have unintended consequences. The absence of conflict and tension can create a false perception that the problems aren’t worth getting back into because life is easier without their spouse. Coach Lee emphasizes that this relief can diminish the motivation required to actively work on the issues plaguing the relationship. When couples are no longer immersed in the day-to-day challenges, they might lose the urgency to address the underlying problems. It’s easy to underestimate the power of inertia โ€“ once the momentum to repair the relationship is lost, the chances of rekindling the spark diminish.

Will Your Ex Change Their Mind About The Breakup?

Have you ever wondered if your ex could change their mind and heart and come back to you? In this transformative video, relationship expert Coach Lee delves deep into the complexities of post-breakup dynamics, unveiling the secret insights that could potentially mend shattered connections. Whether you’re navigating the aftermath of a recent split or seeking to understand the dynamics of human emotions, this video could hold the key to unlocking the potential for rekindled love and second chances.

Unlocking Hearts: The Path to Reconciliation Coach Lee, a name synonymous with relationship wisdom, compassionately navigates the turbulent waters of breakups and heartache. With years of experience guiding couples back into each other’s arms, Coach Lee has decoded the intricate layers of human emotions, unveiling what truly goes on in the mind of an ex who once decided to walk away. The Art of Transformation: Understanding Experiences Drawing from his extensive expertise, Coach Lee elucidates the pivotal shifts that must occur within an ex’s mind for reconciliation to become a reality. He illuminates the importance of self-reflection, personal growth, and emotional maturity in the journey to rebuilding a connection that once felt unbreakable.

Curious Minds Want to Know: Will They or Won’t They? The burning question on everyone’s mind โ€“ can an ex genuinely change their stance and reignite the flame that once burned bright? Coach Lee addresses this question with empathy and precision, offering practical insights that empower you to gauge the potential for a renewed relationship. Prepare to be amazed as you uncover the enigmatic world of emotional evolution.

Cultivating Emotional Evolution: A Roadmap Coach Lee leaves no stone unturned as he lays out a comprehensive roadmap for nurturing the essential transformation within your ex. From fostering a genuine sense of introspection to fostering new perspectives, each step of this transformative journey is outlined with care and precision.

Highlights of Wisdom: What You’ll Learn

? The telltale signs that your ex is undergoing a change of heart.

? The psychological triggers that spark a desire for reconnection.

? Actionable strategies to inspire personal growth within your ex.

? Navigating communication pitfalls and fostering open dialogue.

? How to interpret mixed signals and respond thoughtfully.

Bridging the Gap: Rebuilding Connections

Rekindling a connection after a breakup isn’t just about wishful thinking โ€“ it’s about understanding the nuances of human psychology and emotion. Coach Lee empowers you with the knowledge to make informed decisions about your path forward. Discover the art of bridging the gap between heartache and healing.

A Beacon of Hope in Times of Uncertainty Amid the doubts and uncertainties that follow a breakup, Coach Lee’s expertise shines as a beacon of hope. His compassionate guidance and profound insights offer solace to those who seek clarity and understanding in their quest for renewed love. Whether you’re looking to mend a broken bond or striving to understand the complexities of the human heart, this video is an indispensable resource.

Join the Transformational Journey Today! Are you ready to unlock the hidden potential within your past relationship? Join Coach Lee on this transformational journey of discovery and growth. Brace yourself for a surge of optimism and empowerment as you gain the tools to decipher the cryptic language of changed minds and rekindled love. Connect with Coach Lee As a seasoned relationship expert, Coach Lee has transformed countless relationships with his profound insights. Subscribe to this channel to stay updated on the latest wisdom that could reshape your perspective on love and reconciliation. Don’t miss out on the opportunity to mend hearts and inspire change. Like, Share, and Subscribe! If this video resonated with you, don’t hesitate to give it a thumbs up, share it with others who might benefit, and subscribe for more transformative content. The journey to renewed love begins with a single step, and that step starts right here.

Experience the Miracle of Changed Hearts Embark on a journey of healing, growth, and rediscovery as Coach Lee unfolds the mysteries of changed hearts and rekindled relationships. The power to shape your romantic destiny is within reach โ€“ all you need is the right guidance. Dive into this video now and let the transformation begin!

[Disclaimer: The advice provided in this video is intended for general informational purposes only. Individual situations may vary, and it’s recommended to seek professional guidance for personalized relationship advice.]

How To Make Sense Of Your Ex

Sometimes an ex can make no sense. After a breakup, it’s very easy to be confused by an ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend and Coach Lee explains them in a way that can make some sense of them and the situation in this powerful video.ย 

Struggle with your sleep? I’m here to help

Do you struggle with your sleep? So did I, and I’m here to help! I specialize in improving insomnia through CBTI, which is the recommended first step for insomnia sufferers. I have over 20 years of experience in the sleep field with certications as both a registered sleep technologist and a clinical sleep health educator.ย 

Struggle with your sleep? I’m here to help

Do you struggle with your sleep? So did I, and I’m here to help! I specialize in improving insomnia through CBTI, which is the recommended first step for insomnia sufferers. I have over 20 years of experience in the sleep field with certications as both a registered sleep technologist and a clinical sleep health educator.ย 

Why Is It So Difficult To Get An Ex Back?

Being broken up with by a loved one can be an emotionally challenging experience, leaving one yearning for a second chance at love with him or her. Rekindling a romantic relationship with an ex can indeed be a difficult task, as it requires careful consideration of past mistakes and a sincere effort to rebuild trust. However, there is potential for reuniting with an ex through the effective use of the no contact rule. By understanding its principles and implementing them wisely, individuals can create the ideal conditions for reigniting a lost love.

The Complexity of Rekindling Romance

Reuniting with an ex-partner is often a complex endeavor. When a relationship ends, it is usually because the couple has encountered significant challenges or incompatibilities that could not be overcome at that particular time. Both individuals may have experienced hurt, disappointment, and a loss of trust. These emotions make it difficult to rebuild a connection without addressing the underlying issues that caused the breakup in the first place. Additionally, when attempting to get back with an ex, it is crucial to consider their perspective and feelings. Approaching the situation without understanding their current emotional state and desires can lead to further heartache and disappointment.

The No Contact Rule: Creating Space for Healing

The no contact rule, when used effectively, can serve as a valuable tool for both personal growth and rekindling a relationship. By establishing a period of no contact, individuals create space for healing, reflection, and self-improvement. This rule entails abstaining from any form of communication with the ex-partner, allowing both parties to gain clarity and perspective. During this period, individuals can focus on their personal well-being, engage in activities they enjoy, and work on addressing any issues that contributed to the breakup. This self-improvement not only enhances individual happiness and fulfillment but also increases the chances of a successful reunion by demonstrating personal growth and positive change.

Rebuilding Trust and Connection:

After the no contact period, the dumper may reestablish communication with their ex-partner. It is essential to approach this phase with patience, understanding, and respect for their boundaries. Open and honest conversations can help address the past issues that led to the breakup and identify potential solutions. Rebuilding trust is a fundamental aspect of reigniting a lost romance. This process requires consistency, transparency, and demonstrating a genuine commitment to personal growth. It may also involve seeking professional guidance through couples counseling to navigate difficult conversations and rebuild the foundation of the relationship.

Conclusion: Getting back with an ex can be a challenging journey, but it is not an impossible one. By implementing the no contact rule effectively and investing in personal growth, individuals can create the ideal conditions for a potential reunion. Rebuilding trust, addressing past issues, and demonstrating positive change are essential steps toward rekindling a lost love. However, it is crucial to recognize that not all relationships can or should be resurrected. Ultimately, the key lies in understanding oneself, the ex-partner, and the potential for growth and happiness, regardless of the outcome. 

Could Being “Yourself” Get Your Ex To Come Back?

Coach Lee discusses an often asked question: “Should you be yourself to get your ex back?” Is being yourself more attractive and will it “work” to get your ex back? Get information on Coach Lee’s Emergency Breakup Kit atย https://myexbackcoach.com/ebk. When people say “be yourself,” they are usually encouraging you to embrace and express your authentic self, rather than trying to conform to societal expectations or pretending to be someone you’re not. It’s about being true to your own values, beliefs, and interests, and not trying to mold yourself into someone else’s idea of who you should be. Being yourself means being comfortable with who you are and accepting both your strengths and weaknesses. It’s about acknowledging your unique qualities, embracing your individuality, and not being afraid to let your true personality shine through. When you are being yourself, you are genuine and honest in your thoughts, actions, and interactions with others.

Should You Reach Out To Your Ex?

Coach Lee answers the question, “Should I reach out to my ex?” He does so with the assumption that you want your ex back after they broke up with you. Breakups can be emotionally painful, leaving us longing for the comfort and familiarity of the relationship.

During moments of vulnerability, the temptation to reach out to your ex can be overwhelming. In this video, Coach Lee, explores several compelling reasons why reaching out to your ex is generally not advisable and answers questions about situations that people have stated for wanting to reach out to their ex.

After a breakup, reaching out to your former partner may momentarily provide a sense of comfort, but it can also reopen old wounds, intensifying pain and prolonging the healing process. Healing requires time, introspection, and self-care. By focusing on yourself and engaging in activities that promote personal growth, you can create a solid foundation for future relationships – including with your ex if he or she comes back.

Although the urge to reach out to an ex can be overpowering, it is crucial to resist the temptation. By prioritizing emotional healing, personal growth, and self-discovery, you lay the groundwork for a brighter future. Allow yourself time and space to heal, learn from the past, and move forward. Embrace the opportunity to explore new connections and rediscover your independence. Remember, the best chance you have of getting back together with your ex is to respect their decision by giving them the breakup that they think they want. Only then can your ex see if he or she actually wants the breakup or not.

Win Back Your Brainwashed Ex!

Coach Lee explains how to know if your ex was brainwashed against you which caused them to break up with you and what you can do in that case. Get information on Coach Lee’s Emergency Breakup Kit at http://myexbackcoach.com/ebk

The Intricate Web of Brainwashing: Understanding the Manipulation of Your Ex’s Mind Introduction: In today’s complex world, where information is readily accessible and opinions are abundant, the concept of brainwashing has become increasingly relevant. Brainwashing refers to the deliberate and systematic manipulation of an individual’s thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors, often with the intent to control and influence their actions.

This video refers specifically to breakups and delves into the intricate mechanisms of brainwashing, exploring how susceptible individuals can be ensnared in a web of manipulation and expectations, as well as shedding light on the psychological processes involved in a person convincing themselves that leaving the ones they love is the right thing to do (including neural pathway development).

Understanding Brainwashing: Brainwashing is a multifaceted process that typically involves the interplay of psychological, social, and environmental factors. Its effectiveness lies in exploiting fundamental aspects of human cognition and behavior, such as suggestibility, conformity, and the need for belongingness. Fear of missing out can also contribute greatly to someone being convinced that breaking up with someone is the best thing for them to do. The process often begins with isolating the target individual from alternative viewpoints and information sources, creating an environment where their exposure to dissenting opinions is limited. This isolation serves to weaken the person’s critical thinking abilities and reinforce the authority and credibility of the manipulator while also causing their boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse to appear as the villain.

Manipulative techniques such as repetition, emotional manipulation, and the exploitation of cognitive biases are common in brainwashing. Repetition helps reinforce desired beliefs, as frequent exposure to a particular message can gradually erode the individual’s resistance. Emotional manipulation, through fear, guilt, or love, aims to elicit strong emotional responses that cloud rational judgment. Moreover, the manipulation of cognitive biases, such as confirmation bias (the tendency to seek information that supports existing beliefs), can further reinforce the brainwashing process and cause someone to go through with leaving the one they love.

Vulnerabilities and susceptibility: Not everyone is equally susceptible to brainwashing. Vulnerabilities may arise from various factors, including a desire for answers or meaning, low self-esteem, emotional distress, a need for social validation, or fear of missing out. Individuals experiencing personal crises or seeking purpose and identity are often more susceptible to manipulation.

The Role of Manipulators: The success of brainwashing often hinges on the presence of charismatic and authoritarian leaders or manipulators who possess strong persuasive skills. These individuals exploit their followers’ vulnerabilities, employing sophisticated psychological tactics to gain trust, influence, and control. Manipulators skillfully create an environment that discourages critical thinking, fosters groupthink, and reinforces a hierarchy of power and authority. By instilling a sense of dependency and fear, manipulators weaken their victims’ autonomy, making them more compliant and malleable to their influence.

Escaping the Web: Breaking free from the clutches of brainwashing can be a formidable challenge. Overcoming indoctrination requires a combination of critical thinking, emotional resilience, and external support. Encouraging critical thinking skills and promoting media literacy can help individuals become more resistant to manipulation. Moreover, providing social support networks and non-judgmental environments can assist in the rehabilitation of those affected by brainwashing. Conclusion: Brainwashing is a complex and troubling phenomenon that exploits human vulnerabilities and manipulates minds. It can lead to breakups and divorces.

Understanding the techniques employed by manipulators and the psychological processes involved is crucial in combatting this insidious practice. By promoting critical thinking, fostering resilience, and providing support networks, society can help individuals resist and recover from the clutches of brainwashing. It is only through awareness and education that we can build a more resilient and informed world, empowering individuals to safeguard their minds against manipulation.

Extreme No Contact: What is it and How Does it Re-Attract Your Ex

Breaking up followed by going into No Contact after a breakup can make it even harder to deal with because it goes against the instinct to fight for your relationship and to remind the person you love why you belong together. It can be so difficult that even when you’re in No Contact you find yourself obsessed and hyper-analyzing everything you can find at a distance, just hoping for a sign or signal that they miss you. But there are some situations when the normal No Contact principles can actually keep you attached and locked into an unattractive position longer – causing the breakup to drag on and for the No Contact to start to feel like an indefinite purgatory or limbo – keeping you close enough to have hope but still too far to actually get fully back into the relationships. Sometimes blocking them, ignoring breadcrumbs, and projecting even more strength and determination to move on is not only the best path to go to get over them, but it’s the most powerful way to win them back. In this video Coach Ken covers the scenarios that make it vital for you to demonstrate the willingness to walk away from the very person you so desperately want to win back.

Level Up: Conquer the Game of Self Love Manifestation

manifest self love

As a Certified Master NLP Coach, one of the most powerful tools I’ve encountered in facilitating personal growth is incorporating the concept of ‘play’ not just into my work but into my life. 

This technique, which we use within the Open Acceptance Method, invites you to turn your self-love practises into a game.

Why gamify self-love?

Growth and change can be challenging and daunting. Turning your self-love practises into a game helps you find lightness, fun, and engagement, making the whole thing a more enjoyable and sustainable experience.

The tip: Stop. Laugh. Play

Stop:

In the hustle and bustle of modern life, it’s easy to forget the power of a pause. I encourage you to stop and press pause, multiple times throughout your day. 

Tip: Take a moment to breathe and be present. Check-in with how you’re feeling and what you’re thinking. Acknowledge it. Be present with it. Accept it exactly how it is.  

This is a simple way of shifting from being reactive to becoming more conscious and aware. 

Laugh:

Laughter, as they say, is the best medicine. It’s also a powerful tool to help you shift perspective and disarm the ego. I invite you to find humour in your frustrations and challenges. 

Tip: Visualise or sense something absurd, larger than life or amusing. Inject it into your current struggles; blow it up. Make it funny. This can help ease tension and reduce the seriousness of the situation. 

Now that youโ€™ve brought a little space into your mind, ask yourself a question that reinforces the shift from fear and frustration to curiosity and growth.

Ask, “What can I learn from this?”

Play:

Playfulness fosters creativity, resilience, and adaptability. I urge you to approach your day-to-day experiences with a playful mindset. This could be as simple as pulling a silly face in the mirror or finding an unexpected way to complete a routine task. 

The goal is to foster an atmosphere of light-hearted exploration, transforming the ‘work’ of personal growth into a joyful game.

Tip: Set up a reminder on your phone to stop for just 60 seconds a day. Interrupt your daily pattern and give yourself a couple of moments to simply breathe joy into your heart. 

Continue with an increased awareness of light in your heart. 

***

Remember, the ‘game’ is played inside you. It’s not about denying challenges or suppressing emotions, but rather about embracing life’s ups and downs with grace, humour, and curiosity. 

By gamifying the process, you not only make the journey of personal growth more enjoyable, but you also cultivate a more compassionate and playful relationship with yourself.

By following the STOP. LAUGH. PLAY. formula, you’ll experience a fun, engaging, and effective approach to practising self-love, thus helping you to shine your inner light. 

***

As your coach, I’m here to guide and inspire you to embrace the game of life and celebrate every step of your journey towards personal growth.

Renier Jooste

NLP Master Coach

Co-founder: Open Acceptance Method

Certified Master NLP & Hypnotherapy Practitioner, Firewalking & Breathwork Instructor, Strategic Intervention Specialist, Body Language & Micro-Expression Expert, Human Behaviour Specialist, Core Human Needs Therapy Practitioner, and Reiki Level 2 Practitioner

Self love and kindness quotes

1. “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” โ€“ Buddha

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.  Buddha Coaching Quote

2. “Loving yourself isnโ€™t vanity. Itโ€™s sanity.” โ€“ Katrina Mayer

Loving yourself isnโ€™t vanity. Itโ€™s sanity. Katrina Mayer Coaching Quote

3. “The journey isn’t about becoming a different person, but loving who you are right now.” โ€“ Suzanne Heyn

The journey isn't about becoming a different person, but loving who you are right now. Suzanne Heyn Coaching Quote

4. “Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin, as self-neglecting.” – William Shakespeare

Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin, as self-neglecting. William Shakespeare Coaching Quote

5. “If you don’t love yourself, nobody will. Not only that, you won’t be good at loving anyone else. Loving starts with the self.” โ€“ Wayne Dyer

If you don't love yourself, nobody will. Not only that, you won't be good at loving anyone else. Loving starts with the self. Wayne Dyer Coaching Quote

6. “Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” โ€“ Lucille Ball

Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world. Lucille Ball Coaching Quote

7. “To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.” โ€“ Oscar Wilde

To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance. Oscar Wilde Coaching Quote

8. “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” โ€“ Rumi

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. Rumi Coaching Quote

9. “You are enough just as you are.” โ€“ Meghan Markle

You are enough just as you are. Meghan Markle Coaching Quote

10. “Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.” โ€“ Eleanor Roosevelt

Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one. Eleanor Roosevelt Coaching Quote

Finding Your Purpose

Do you know what you were created to do? Do you know what you’re here to accomplish? In this video, I talk about the importance of life purpose and how you can begin the journey today to discover yours. Having clarity on your life’s purpose can provide a framework through which you filter all of your life’s decisions. It gives you the power to say “yes” to things that energize you and “no” to things that drain you.

Borderline Personality Disorder: Subsets, Patterns and Impact of No Contact

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a complex mental health condition characterized by intense emotional swings, unstable relationships, and a distorted self-image. When it comes to relationships, those with BPD often face unique challenges and may exhibit very intense and eventually contradictory reactions throughout the relationship. This can be more confusing depending on the type (subset) of BPD you’re dealing with and the background of the people involved. This video is designed to help you identify and react with someone wrestling with BPD as well as helping you decide if your want to reconcile and win your ex back or if you’re ready to move on, but aren’t certain how to recover from the addictive almost obsessive level of connection associated with being in love with someone dealing with Borderline Personality Disorder.

How to stop overthinking (Make Better Choices in Life)

In this video, I am going to talk about how to stop overthinking. Overthinking can be really frustrating, and it can lead to problems in your life.

We’ll cover some tips on how to stop overthinking and start living more freely. If you’re suffering from overthinking, this video is for you! We’ll discuss some strategies on how to start living a more relaxed and free life, free from the negative effects of overthinking.

By the end of this video, you’ll know how to start stopping overthinking and living a happier and more relaxed life!

How to build self confidence

In this video I talk about How to build self confidence. How we feel about ourselves is very important to our lives and the way we live.

And if you don’t feel good and your confidence is low you need to change that quickly. And this video will help you do that.

Let me know in the comments what you thought of the video.

Extremely Painful Breakups: Rejections Sensitive Dysphoria, Dark Limerence


Coach Ken: https://dotheyloveme.com/ Extremely painful breakups are normal but some breakups are more agonizing than others. Many times even the most intelligent, driven, successful people can be left confused by how much pain and hyper-fixation they experience. The emotional and physical symptoms that can occur after the end of a romantic relationship or the loss of a loved one can be nothing short of traumatizing. It is often characterized by feelings of intense sadness, grief, and longing. The pain of heartbreak can be intense and can manifest physically, such as in chest pain, difficulty breathing, and loss of appetite. The intensity and duration of heartbreak can vary widely among individuals, depending on factors such as the depth of the relationship, personal coping mechanisms, and support systems. Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, Dark Limerence, and Heartbreak Syndrome can be incredibly painful experiences, but it’s important to remember that everyone’s emotional experiences are unique. If you or someone you know is struggling with either of these conditions, it is recommended to seek support from a mental health professional who can provide appropriate guidance and help navigate the emotional challenges involved.

Does Your Ex Have Reunion Resistance?

In this enlightening and insightful video, Coach Lee delves into the complex reasons why your ex might be reluctant to rekindle the flame of your past relationship. With careful consideration and empathy, he explores five common factors that could be influencing their decision. By gaining a deeper understanding of their perspective, you’ll be better equipped to navigate the path towards healing and personal growth. Get Coach Lee’s Emergency Breakup Kit atย http://myexbackcoach.com/ebkย Book a coaching session with Coach Lee or a coach on his staff atย https://myexbackcoach.com/book-with-coach-lee/

Does Your Ex Have Reunion Resistance?

In this enlightening and insightful video, Coach Lee delves into the complex reasons why your ex might be reluctant to rekindle the flame of your past relationship. With careful consideration and empathy, he explores five common factors that could be influencing their decision. By gaining a deeper understanding of their perspective, you’ll be better equipped to navigate the path towards healing and personal growth. Get Coach Lee’s Emergency Breakup Kit atย http://myexbackcoach.com/ebkย Book a coaching session with Coach Lee or a coach on his staff atย https://myexbackcoach.com/book-with-coach-lee/

Can Optimism Help Your Anxiety?

Can optimism help with anxiety? Yes! In today’s fast-paced and uncertain world, anxiety has become increasingly prevalent. It affects millions of people worldwide, interfering with their daily lives and overall well-being. While anxiety can be a challenging condition to manage, cultivating a positive outlook and embracing optimism can play a vital role in alleviating its effects. This article explores the relationship between optimism and anxiety, highlighting how adopting an optimistic mindset can lead to improved mental health and a more fulfilling life.ย ย 

Why Is My Ex Watching My Stories On Social Media?

Coach Lee explains why your ex is watching your social media, Instagram stories, Facebook, etc. If you are wondering what it means and if you should watch your ex’s social media, Coach answers those questions. If your question is, “Should I watch my ex’s stories?” Lee answers that as well. Get more information on Coach Lee’s Support Community at http://LoveDynamics.com. Or get Coach Lee’s Emergency Breakup Kit at http://myexbackcoach.com/ebk

Subscribe to Coach Lee! It is difficult to determine exactly why someone checks their ex’s social media, as there could be a variety of reasons. However, it could potentially mean that they still have some level of interest or curiosity about you and what you are up to. It’s important to keep in mind that social media can often provide a false sense of connection or understanding, and it’s not necessarily a reflection of someone’s true feelings or intentions. It’s also possible that they may simply be checking in out of habit or because they are curious about what you’re up to. What does it mean when an ex checks your Instagram or social? Coach Lee explains in this video.

Is No Contact The Only Way?

Coach Lee answers the question, “Is the No Contact Rule the only way to get an ex back after a breakup?”

Get Coach Lee’s Emergency Breakup Kit at https://myexbackcoach.com/ebk

There are many good reasons for using no contact and it’s for more than only getting an ex back but is also best for you after a breakup. The no contact rule is a strategy that is often used after a breakup or during a period of intense conflict in a relationship. It involves cutting off all contact with the other person for a certain amount of time. While it may seem simple on the surface, there are a number of factors to consider when implementing the no contact rule. Is no contact the only way to get your ex back? The first thing to keep in mind is that the no contact rule should be a deliberate decision. It’s important to take some time to reflect on your goals and motivations before cutting off contact. Are you trying to win the other person back? Are you hoping to move on and start a new chapter in your life? Whatever your reasons, it’s important to be honest with yourself about what you hope to achieve through the no contact rule.

Once you’ve decided to implement the no contact rule, it’s important to stick to it. This can be difficult, especially if you have strong feelings for the other person or if you are used to talking to them on a regular basis. However, breaking the no contact rule can be counterproductive and prevent a runion or rekindling of the relationship. During the no contact period, it’s important to take care of yourself. This might involve focusing on your physical health, such as by getting regular exercise and eating a healthy diet. It could also mean taking care of your emotional well-being, such as by spending time with supportive friends or engaging in activities that bring you joy. The key is to focus on your own needs and to use the time away from the other person to heal and grow.

One of the benefits of the no contact rule is that it can provide clarity and perspective. When you are no longer in regular contact with the other person, it can be easier to step back and see the relationship in a new light. This can help you to identify patterns of behavior that may have contributed to the breakup or conflict, and to consider how you might approach future relationships differently.

When Your Ex Comes Back After Sleeping With Someone Else

Discovering that the person you love slept with someone else while you were broken up can be a deeply upsetting and unsettling experience. Depending on the circumstances, it can leave you feeling hurt, angry, confused, and betrayed. You may feel like your trust has been shattered and that the foundation of your relationship has been weakened. It’s common to experience a range of emotions, including sadness, jealousy, and insecurity. You may question your self-worth and wonder if you were not good enough for your partner. Dealing with these feelings can be challenging, but it’s important to take the time to process them and communicate openly with your partner about how you’re feeling. This video explains how to recover and heal from finding out the person you love slept with someone else.

20 Things to do Instead of Drinking

It’s time to rebel against merely surviving by re-awakening your passions and zeal for life to truly start thriving. This podcast was created to give you practical and usable tools and tips to help you cultivate a life in recovery that you love and can’t wait to live out each day.

Together, we’re saying goodbye to running to things that drain us and leave us feeling depleted, so we can step into the life we were made for. While this podcast is geared towards those in recovery from drugs and alcohol, anyone can benefit from the tools we discuss here because, if we’re honest, we’re all recovering from something at some point in time.

We are all in the process of recovering from life in one way or another, so you are welcome here. Together, we will recover life and create a life that we love to live.

This week, we will discuss a tool called “The 20 Things I Can Do Instead of [Fill in the Blank].” Whether you are in recovery from drugs and alcohol, considering stopping, or in early recovery, this tool will provide you with alternative activities when tempted to drink or use. 

Have fun sometimes with friends like drinking occasionally

If you have been sober for some time but find yourself bored or wondering how to have fun without substances, this list will offer engaging activities to invigorate your sober lifestyle. For those further along in their recovery journey, this list can also be useful for distracting from stress, boredom, or unhealthy habits such as overeating or excessive worrying.

The point of this tool is to help you stay on track and provide a quick reference when you need a reminder of what you can do instead of giving in to temptation. So let’s hop right in. This episode was inspired by Kelly, who shared her list of 20 things she can do instead of drinking in early recovery. We want to dig deeper into that this week and provide ideas because many people don’t know what to do for fun without drugs and alcohol.

When I got sober, I had to figure out how to have fun without drugs and alcohol, which took a lot of self-discovery and trying new things. It’s always evolving and changing. For example, I discovered my passion for yoga and how it helped my mental health. You’re always going to be evolving and discovering new things about yourself if you get out there and try new things.

Take some time to think about the things you can do instead of drinking, using, stressing, or engaging in other unhealthy behaviors. Create your list of 20 things you can do instead of those negative things and come back to it often. Make a graphic or write it down, take a picture, and have it handy on your phone or as a screensaver.

Now, let’s explore some ideas for your list of 20. One of my favorite tools is box breathing, a technique used by Navy Seals to stay calm in high-stress situations. Inhale for four seconds, hold your breath for four seconds, exhale for four seconds, and hold your breath again for four seconds. This can help calm you down in various situations.

Another thing you can do is meditation. While some may find the idea of meditation intimidating or “woo,” it doesn’t have to be complicated. Guided meditations are available online, which can help clear your mind and keep you focused on the present moment. Meditation has helped me in various situations, such as calming my nerves before flying.

Coaching Tip: Do some meditations which can help you clear your mind and keep you focused

The next thing I will suggest is yoga. I know some people hate yoga and think it’s really woo-woo, but yoga not only gives you a workout, it has great physical components. It helps with stretching and self-esteem. I notice that when I’m doing really well and I can feel my poses changing, I can feel the difference. I don’t do yoga every day; I have a hard time being consistent when it comes to working out.

I’ll be super consistent for two or three months, usually when I’m leading up to training for a race or something, and then I fall off the wagon. I will go from being able to do a perfect downward dog to missing two and a half months of yoga and then going back, and my heels are six inches off the ground again. But there is something to be said about the confidence boost that comes from being able to feel your body change.

When my daughter and I started the 30-day yoga challenge, we committed to 20 minutes or less every day for 30 days. I felt so much better afterwards; my mind was more clear, it helped with my sinuses, and I was feeling less sinus pressure. At the time, I was living in Lubbock, Texas, where it is dirt central, and I’m allergic to dust. I was constantly sick when I was living in Lubbock, and I could tell that the yoga was opening up my sinuses and helping me let off some steam. I actually drank a lot less during that time.

At that point, alcohol wasn’t really a problem; I’d have a glass of wine here or there, but I would notice that I would have more glasses of wine whenever I was having a more stressful day. However, I found that if I did yoga instead, I was able to sleep better that night.

So, I’d get home from work, do the normal nighttime evening routineโ€”dinner, homework, bath, whateverโ€”and then I would pull out the yoga mat and do yoga. I felt so much better, more refreshed, and had more mental clarity. My sinuses were clearer, and I was able to sleep better. Yoga is another activity you can add to your list of things that you can do instead of drinking, worrying, eating, or gambling.

My fourth suggestion is to get outside. I cannot stress how important it is to get some sunlight on your face. If you live in a place where it’s cloudy all the time, like the Pacific Northwest or London, even if it’s cloudy outside, the act of going outside and getting even indirect sunlight through the clouds helps your mental health and your physical health.

So, it’s important to get outside. You can put “go outside for five minutes” or “go for a five-minute walk” on your list of things that you can do. Sometimes, I will literally just walk from one stop sign to the other in our neighborhood, and it’s enough to reset my mindset and keep me from reaching for those Oreos.

Coaching Tip: Go outside even if it's just 5 minutes or go for a walk

At my church, we’re doing prayer and fasting for the next 14 days, and I have decided to give up pastries and candy. I will be using my list of 20 things that I can do to help me not eat the Oreos, cake, and candy late at night. This is just as much for me as it is for you, so let’s do this together.

A five-minute walk outside is something you can do. If you are religious, I am a Christian and I read the Bible, so on my list of 20 things is “turn to the Bible.” Turn to your deity of choice and your religious handbook of choice, and read for a minute. If you’re not religious, find a book and read for a minute. It only takes a few seconds to have that mindset shift.

Another suggestion is reading. Audiobooks and podcasts might work for some people, but for others, the act of picking up something that requires using their eyes to read can help shift their focus.

Watching a show could be an option, but be cautious not to use TV or movies as a coping mechanism where you drown out the world. A quick 20-minute show can help change your attention from what you were wanting to do to something else. However, it’s up to you to know when to use which method.

Next, consider participating in a group activity. Engaging in group activities can not only help distract you, but also build a community around you to hold you accountable. You could join a gym, take Zumba or cycling classes, and make friends. This is particularly helpful if you’re feeling isolated or like no one understands what you’re going through. Surrounding yourself with people walking similar paths can be beneficial.

You can also try activities like tennis, pickleball, or table tennis, which reportedly help reduce occurrences of dementia. This can be particularly important for those with a family history of Alzheimer’s or other cognitive issues.

Bowling activity

Other activities to consider include bowling, mini-golf, or going to the driving range if you enjoy golfing. The key with your list of 20 things is to keep your hands and mind occupied, so you don’t sit idle, allowing thoughts to come back to you that may lead to unhealthy habits.

These are just a few things you can do to help distract yourself: read, go for a walk, partake in group exercises, practice box breathing, meditate, and more. Cooking is another favorite activity to consider. It can be fun to put together a dish, even if it doesn’t always turn out great. Sharing a meal with others or going out to a restaurant are additional options.

This tool, called “20 Things I Can Do Instead of Blank,” can help you put together your list of 20 things to try instead of unhealthy habits. The goal is to help you change the trajectory of your actions in the moment, so you don’t follow through with problematic behaviors. Use this list for yourself and share it with others who may benefit.

Thank you for tuning in, and I hope this information has been helpful. Remember that you were made for more than just surviving; you were made for thriving.

Here is a summary of those 20 things to do instead of drinking:

  1. Practice box breathing.
  2. Meditate for a few minutes.
  3. Engage in yoga.
  4. Get outside for fresh air and sunlight.
  5. Read a book or religious text.
  6. Listen to an audiobook or podcast.
  7. Watch a show or documentary (use cautiously).
  8. Join a group activity, like Zumba or cycling.
  9. Attend support group meetings.
  10. Play tennis, pickleball, or table tennis.
  11. Go bowling.
  12. Enjoy mini-golf or visit a driving range.
  13. Keep your hands and mind busy.
  14. Surround yourself with like-minded people.
  15. Participate in a group exercise.
  16. Cook and share a meal with others.
  17. Explore a new hobby.
  18. Walk around your neighborhood.
  19. Engage in activities that promote mental and physical health.
  20. Focus on living intentionally and maintaining momentum in your life.
20 Things To Do instead of drinking

Remember, the goal of these activities is to change your focus and keep your hands and mind occupied to prevent unproductive habits from taking over. Consider creating your personalized list of 20 things to do and keep it handy for reference. Don’t forget that you are capable of thriving, and cultivating an abundantly fulfilling life is within your reach.

Teresa Mitchell
Life Coach

MS, Recovery Coach, Life Coach
Dallas,Texas
Empowering you to discover the beautiful grace found in recovering your authentic self.
– BS Community, Family, and Addiction Services
– MS Human Services Admin
– Emerging Drug Trends

Personal Growth Challenge & Questions (Coaching Tips)

Change is inevitable. Growth is optional. John Maxwell Coaching Quote

Do you have a plan to grow?

Ask your self “How did this building we are in come about?”
In what order were the parts of the building made or built?
Why should I focus on growth more than goals?
        Growth always exceeds goals.  Goals have a stopping point.

Start Making Your Plan…. NOW!

Start asking the big questions now

1. Where do you want to go?
2. What direction do you want to go?
3. What’s the farthest you can imagine going?
4. How long will it take?

4 Big Questions to ask yourself now

Not having all the answers is normal but keep asking them daily!

Make your plan now.  Now is the best time to start. Some day is not programed on your watch but today is. Step out and create action.

Personal growth is not accidental it must be intentional.  We have to change our mindset to really grow.

Accidental growth VS. Intentional growth

On a scale of 1-10 rate where you see yourself right now in each of these areas.

Plans to start tomorrowย  โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“ย  Insists on starting now
Waits for growth to come โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“ Takes responsibility to grow
Learns only from mistakes โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“ Learns before mistakes
Depends on good luck โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“ Relies on hard work
Quits early and often โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“ Perseveres long and hard
Falls into bad habits โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“ Fights for good habits
Talks big โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“ Follows through
Plays it safe โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“ Takes risks
Thinks like a victim โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“ Thinks like a learner
Relies on talent โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“ Relies on character
Stops learning after graduation โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“โ€“ Never stops learning

Are you accidentally or intentionally growing?

John C Maxwell shows several gaps we often have to personal growth, which of these gaps has presented the greatest challenge to you?

1. The Assumption Gap โ€“ I assume I will automatically grow
2. The Knowledge Gap – I donโ€™t know how to grow
3. The timing Gap โ€“ Itโ€™s not the right time to grow
4. The Mistake Gap โ€“ I am afraid of growing
5. The Perfection Gap โ€“ I have to find the best way before I can start growing
6. The Inspiration Gap โ€“ I donโ€™t feel like growing
7. The Comparison Gap โ€“ Others are better than I am
8. The Expectation Gap โ€“ I thought it would be easier than this

Woman jumping takes risks

Specific steps to amazing growth

Want to really grow? Take some time and write out a growth plan. And take the first step TODAY to grow.

Look at your calendar for the next year: Schedule specific, timed and focused growth plans. If you think you donโ€™t have to time to schedule something else, imagine what last year could have looked like if you had scheduled plans for growing.

Remember, growing is not a goal, but a life-long process that MUST start with being intentional. While scheduling growth time may seem simplistic, it IS the beginning of action intention.

Someone once said, “Do what you love so well that someone will pay you to do it.”

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. Will Durant Coaching Quote

Pat Bruce

Life coach

Ostrander, OhioWhat mountain do you have that needs to be moved? Thatโ€™s our goal in transformation.- ICF-certified- John Maxwell Certified Coach, Trainer, Speaker- ICCA-certified- Light University Coaching- John Maxwell Group Coaching

How to Set Priorities in Life

Sometimes we experience difficulty prioritizing or we make everything a priority so that nothing is a priority. Sometimes we allow distractions to throw us off. In this video we explore how to prioritize, how to align priorities with your core values, and how to stay on track once you know your priorities. We also talk about how some priorities have an expiration date – if not completed on time they rot!

Organizing your life to create a better future.

During this video I speak about orgnaizing your schedule and making the most of your time. ย Take away all of your extra stress by learning to plan ahead for all of life’s curves and bumps. ย Don’t let life get you down and stressed, when you can plan ahead. ย Make your plans accordingly for your future.ย 

13 Essential Job Coaching Tips: Career Coaching Plan from a Recruitment Coach

13 Essential Job Coaching Tips: Career Coaching Plan from a Recruitment Coach

  1. Focus on your strengths: Identify your unique skills and experiences that make you stand out as a candidate, and highlight these in your job applications and interviews.
  2. Research potential employers: Do your research on potential employers before applying or interviewing for a job. Learn about their mission, values, and company culture to see if it aligns with your own goals and values.
  3. Optimize your resume and cover letter: Tailor your resume and cover letter to the specific job you are applying for, highlighting your relevant experience and achievements.
  4. Practice your interview skills: Practice your interview skills by rehearsing answers to common interview questions and preparing questions to ask the interviewer.
  5. Build your network: Build your professional network by attending industry events, connecting with professionals on LinkedIn, and seeking out informational interviews.
  6. Leverage social media: Use social media platforms such as LinkedIn and Twitter to showcase your skills and experiences, share relevant industry news and insights, and connect with potential employers.
  7. Consider temporary or contract work: Consider taking temporary or contract work to gain experience and build your professional network.
  8. Stay positive: Job searching can be stressful, but try to stay positive and focus on your goals. Remember that rejection is part of the process, and keep pushing forward.
  9. Be open to feedback: Be open to feedback from potential employers and recruiters, and use it to improve your job search strategies and professional development.
  10. Develop new skills: Keep developing your skills and knowledge through training, courses, and certifications to stay competitive in your field and increase your job prospects.
  11. Set specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound (SMART) goals to focus your job search and career development efforts.
  12. Identify your transferable skills: Help potential employers identify your transferable skills that can help you apply to different roles and industries, increasing your job prospects.
  13. Manage time effectively: Help clients manage their time effectively by prioritizing job search activities, scheduling time for professional development, and avoiding burnout.
13 Essential Job Coaching Tips from a Recruitment Coach
Don't wait for the right opportunity: create it. George Bernard Shaw Coaching Quote

Zoran Grueski
Life Coach

Career coach and mentor
Skopje, Opstina Karpos, Macedonia
Career coach and mentor in recruitment and talent acquisition

Job searching can be stressful, but try to stay positive and focus on your goalsโ€ฆ keep pushing forward. Zoran Grueski Coaching Quote

How To Know If Your Ex Is Still In Love With You

Coach Lee answers the question, how to know if your ex is still in love with you. Just because someone broke up with you does not mean that they are no longer in love with you or that such love is permanently lost. In this video, you’ll learn what to look for to help you know if your ex is still in love with you.ย 

Help For No Contact Anxiety

Overcoming no-contact anxiety is a primary concern for individuals coping with breakups and seeking guidance to rekindle a relationship with their ex. In this article, I will provide support to help you navigate the anxiety experienced during no-contact periods.

I will discuss five highly effective strategies, as well as a bonus tip at the end. The first strategy, which may appear simple, is to review your plan. This is, in my opinion, one of the most potent techniques on this list. Revisiting your plan is crucial because anxiety often arises when issues remain unaddressed and no clear plan is in place. Feeling lost and uncertain only exacerbates anxiety.

By reassuring yourself that a plan is in place, you can alleviate some of this stress. Perhaps you have watched informative videos or consulted with a relationship coach from my team, which has provided you with a clear course of action. You understand the importance of maintaining distance and remaining in no-contact mode, a topic I frequently discuss. Although I will not delve too deeply into the rationale here, it is crucial to remember that pursuing your ex when they want a break can ultimately drive them away โ€“ a fact grounded in reality.

Remind yourself of the various reasons I discuss regarding the effectiveness of no-contact. While it may not work every time, it has a high success rate and is the best approach to give yourself the best chance at reconciliation. Regularly reaffirm your plan and recognize that it will be challenging for both you and your ex. The impact of no-contact will eventually be felt by both parties; it’s only a matter of time.

Now, let’s move on to the second strategy, which is equally important: practicing breathing exercises. On my website, you can find a helpful tool called the Breathing Circle, which promotes slow, deep breaths that can calm your heart rate and lower blood pressure. These physiological changes signal to your mind and body that everything is okay, reducing the production of anxiety-inducing chemicals. Whenever you find yourself worrying about your ex or the effectiveness of no-contact, take a moment to practice these slow, deep breaths.

The third strategy for managing no-contact anxiety is to remind yourself that each day contributes to the cumulative effect that can tip the scales in your favor. Even though individual days might seem insignificant, their collective impact can be substantial. Each day counts, and as time passes, their power grows.

Before discussing the fourth strategy, consider checking out my Emergency Breakup Kit, a comprehensive guide to winning back your ex, linked in the description. This kit also allows for easy booking of sessions with coaches on my staff.

The fourth strategy is to avoid social media stalking or over-analyzing your ex’s actions. It may be tempting to search for clues or hidden meanings in their posts, but doing so can exacerbate your anxiety. Instead, try to avoid looking at their social media profiles altogether. If you can resist the urge to check their accounts, your anxiety will decrease, and you can focus on more positive aspects of your life.

The fifth strategy is to plan social events with friends and loved ones. Reach out to contacts you haven’t seen in a while and schedule activities to keep your mind occupied and your spirits lifted. Surrounding yourself with people who care about you can make you feel better and even enhance your attractiveness.

Lastly, the bonus strategy is to practice your response to anxiety. By pretending to be the person you want to be โ€“ one who is calm and collected โ€“ you can eventually make this response more natural and genuinely feel better in the process.

In conclusion, the key to managing no-contact anxiety is to focus on your plan, practice breathing exercises, remind yourself of the cumulative effect of each day, avoid stalking your ex on social media, plan social events, and practice responding to anxiety in a constructive way. 

Valentine’s Day! Should You Contact Your Ex Or Send A Gift?

This is Coach Lee, and in this video, I’m going to discuss Valentine’s Day, which many of you watching probably dread at this point. It’s completely understandable. Take a moment to click the subscribe button below so you can be notified when I have more content related to relationships, mindfulness, marriage, and breakups.

When you think of Valentine’s Day, it likely brings anxiety and concern. You may worry about what your ex might do on Valentine’s Day. Based on the comments on my channel, emails, and conversations with clients, the biggest question is whether you should contact your ex on Valentine’s Day or send them a gift, like flowers or chocolates.

I recall a client who struggled with Valentine’s Day and had several coaching calls with me due to his concerns. He wanted his ex to feel special and didn’t want her to be without a gift. However, I suspected he believed that giving her a gift would make her love him again. Despite my advice not to send the gift, he left flowers and chocolates on her doorstep without a name.

In truth, he wanted to win her back with his gesture. In a way, he was trying to bribe her to love him again. It’s essential to consider whether you’d want someone back solely because of a well-chosen gift. You could be appealing to their selfish side, which isn’t a solid foundation for a lasting relationship.

Sending a gift to your ex on Valentine’s Day could make them pity you, which harms attraction. Pity doesn’t resurrect attraction; instead, it weakens it. Moreover, sending a gift doesn’t show inner strength and can be perceived as a form of bribery. Your ex could even become angry because they might feel you’re not respecting their decision to break up.

My Emergency Breakup Kit provides a guide on how to get your ex back, based on my 20 years in the relationship recovery service. Click the link in the description below for more information.

It’s important to remember that sending a gift on Valentine’s Day or contacting your ex could push them further away, solidify you as a backup plan, and eliminate the fear of loss. This can harm your chances of getting your ex back. Trust in the process and avoid giving in to the temptation of reaching out on Valentine’s Day or any other special occasion.

Though it’s not guaranteed to work 100% of the time, the success rate of letting your ex come to you is significantly higher than trying to force the situation. Trust my experience and observations based on thousands of cases. Hit the subscribe button below for more videos like this.

This has been Coach Lee, and as always, thank you for watching.

How to Start Your Healing Journey By Healing Your Psyche

Let’s first explain what is the psyche. The psyche is the recollection of our soul imprints that we carry throughout lifetimes. It is the mood that we carry through and these imprints make our individual soul.

Whatever thought, attitudes, patterns you fed, this is what you carry on to your next lifetime and we inherit this through our DNA, which carries the information.

This is why if we have held on and we have been attached to mind states, belief systems, fear and traumas from the past then in this lifetime, we can see it manifest through an unbalance psyche.

How to start healing your psyche coaching video

Thank you, hello beautiful souls! Welcome to our channel. We are Jess and Galia. Today, we are going to talk about how to start healing your psyche. But before we get started, what is the psyche? Well, the psyche is the collection of our soul imprints that we carry throughout lifetimes. It is the moods that we carry through, and these imprints are what make our individual souls unique. Whatever thoughts, attitudes, and patterns we have are carried on through our next lifetime, and we inherit this through our DNA which carries the information. This is why, if we have held on and have been attached to certain mind states, belief systems, fears, and traumas of the past, then in this lifetime we can see it manifest through an unbalanced psyche.

Thank you for this introduction. Like you said, the psyche becomes unbalanced because of unresolved traumas, and this is really deep because the psyche can create archetypal defenses to protect itself from the pain, suffering, and impact of trauma. We need to understand that a sick psyche can actually create self-destructive forces, leading to self-attack. The psyche is attacking its own self, and because the psyche creates forms to manifest into the physical world, it’s an entity that is both physical and spiritual. This transitional state between the physical and spiritual means that the psyche is ruled by spirit and can affect the field. That’s why it’s really important to take this power back and understand how our psyche works.

We want to talk about how this imbalance can manifest, maybe through psychic attacks and how they are self-created. Psychic attacks are actually a personal attack on the self when we have mental distortions and are not able to discern truth from lies. This makes us susceptible to psychic attacks, especially for intuitives, when there’s a lot of internal conflict echoing from past lifetimes. In this lifetime, those themes show up in our lives through things like dark entities trying to harm us in our dreams or everyday life, paranoia, or distorted relationships with others. These attacks are internal, but a person with distortion cannot see it and thinks it’s happening externally.

Psychic attacks can only happen if we have a distortion in our own field. We resonate with the distortion and give it life because it is still within us and needs to become visible to us, so it manifests through the external. To start healing the psyche, we must undergo an internal psychological process, first becoming aware of our toxic patterns and the emotions and actions that cause suffering in our lives. By becoming more self-aware and understanding our triggers, we can heal and transform on a soul level, leading to psychological deaths and rebirths. This transformation requires changing the way we see the world, as what we experience externally is a reflection of our inner world.

Tapping into the field involves questioning where we feel pain in our bodies, as trauma may be stuck in the body and need to be analyzed. Understanding and accepting this pain as a part of ourselves is essential in the healing process. We hope this video was able to trigger something in you and that you resonated with our words. We appreciate your support, comments, and subscriptions to our channel. Thank you so much, and we will see you in the next episode

How to Reclaim Your Power in 2023

Why in 2023? Because in this year, we are entering a deeper process of individuation. We are becoming more self-realized. After experiencing the storms and becoming aware of our traumas; what the universe is asking us is to reconnect with ourselves. To be inward, to build our inner world and to feel safe in our inner world. As we feel safe within ourselves we are attracting relationships that mirror the safety we feel within.

Reclaim your power in 2023!

In today’s video, Galia excitedly shares her insights on how to reclaim our personal power in 2023, a year where we are delving deeper into self-realization and individuation. Here are her four tips to help you on your journey:

  1. Examine your relationships: Take a close look at the dynamics in your relationships. Ask yourself if you feel mistreated or taken advantage of, and identify areas where you may be giving your power away. Focus on establishing healthy boundaries to preserve your inner strength.
  2. Challenge limiting beliefs: Reflect on whether you have any limiting beliefs about yourself or what it means to be powerful and successful. Recognize these thoughts and work on breaking free from them to fully embrace your potential.
  3. Heal from sexual traumas: Reconnect with your life force and creative energy by addressing and healing from any sexual traumas you may have experienced. By doing so, you’ll reignite your motivation and sense of personal power.
  4. Nurture your energetic and spiritual power: Engage in spiritual practices, such as Reiki, yoga, or meditation, to help you work with your subconscious and explore other realms of existence. These practices will enable you to cultivate your inner power and achieve harmony within yourself.

Tips and takeaways:

  1. Prioritize self-reflection: Regularly assess your relationships, beliefs, and emotional well-being to identify areas where you can reclaim your power.
  2. Set healthy boundaries: Establish clear boundaries in your relationships to maintain a sense of self-respect and personal power.
  3. Challenge limiting beliefs: Recognize and confront any limiting beliefs that may be holding you back from fully embracing your potential.
  4. Focus on healing: Address and heal from any past traumas to reconnect with your life force, creativity, and inner power.
  5. Embrace spiritual practices: Engage in activities like Reiki, yoga, or meditation to nurture your energetic and spiritual power, and achieve harmony within yourself.
  6. Cultivate self-awareness: Develop a deeper understanding of your subconscious mind and explore other realms of existence to unlock your true power.
  7. Seek guidance and support: Consider working with a mentor or professional, like Galia, to help you heal from traumas and uncover your inner power.
  8. Stay consistent: Reclaiming your power is an ongoing process. Continue to practice self-reflection, healing, and spiritual growth to maintain and expand your personal power.

Galia warmly invites you to book a consultation with her if you’re interested in working together to heal from deep-rooted traumas and unveil your true power. Thank you for watching and supporting the channel, and Galia looks forward to seeing you in the next video!

How To Show Your Ex That You’ve Changed

Hey there! Today’s video provides valuable insights on how to show your ex that you have changed and improve your chances of getting back together. Remember, patience is key, and rushing can hinder your progress. Here’s a detailed summary:

  1. Right after the breakup, your ex may not care much about whether you’ve changed or not. Their attraction towards you is low, and it will take time for them to regain interest.
  2. Don’t constantly try to show your ex that you’ve changed right after the breakup. Focus on increasing their attraction towards you by giving them space and letting them experience life without you.
  3. Be patient and let your changes become visible over time. For physical changes like weight loss, your ex will notice it without you needing to point it out. For emotional changes, give them time to see it through your interactions.
  4. Do not tell your ex that you’ve changed unless it’s an issue they specifically brought up. If you do need to address the issue, do it just once and avoid making it seem manipulative.
  5. Maintain no contact until your ex is open to interacting and considering the idea of getting back together. No contact can help them reflect on the good times and potentially lead to them wanting to reconnect.
  6. Show your changes slowly and in small steps as you rebuild the relationship. Avoid overwhelming your ex with evidence of your changes all at once.
  7. When your ex starts to see your improvements, the time apart will have more power. As their attraction for you builds, they will start to consider the possibility of rekindling the relationship.
  8. Focus on positive interactions, closeness, and rebuilding the relationship. Your ex will be able to see your changes along the way without you having to force it.

In summary, patience and giving your ex space are essential in showing that you’ve changed. Avoid overwhelming them and instead, let your changes become visible gradually through your interactions. Focus on rebuilding the relationship and increasing your ex’s attraction towards you. Good luck!

Tips and takeaways

Here are some tips and takeaways from the video on how to show your ex that you have changed:

  1. Be patient: Patience is crucial in this process. Changes won’t matter to your ex until their attraction for you increases, which takes time. Allow them to experience the breakup and miss you before trying to demonstrate your changes.
  2. Focus on rebuilding attraction: Attraction is the key factor in winning your ex back. Work on improving yourself and addressing the issues that led to the breakup, but remember that changes alone won’t rebuild attraction.
  3. Don’t overwhelm them with changes: It’s important not to force your changes onto your ex too soon, as it may seem manipulative. Instead, let them observe your changes gradually and naturally as you interact with them.
  4. Use no contact: No contact helps your ex to miss you, reflect on the good times, and be more receptive to your changes. It also gives you time to work on yourself and the issues that led to the breakup.
  5. Show changes through actions, not words: Avoid constantly telling your ex that you’ve changed. Instead, let your actions speak for themselves when you interact with them.
  6. Allow your ex to see your progress: If your changes are visible (e.g., weight loss), your ex will be able to see the difference when they see you. If the changes are emotional, demonstrate them through your interactions.
  7. Take it one step at a time: Focus on making small, consistent steps in the right direction to rebuild your relationship. Quick fixes are unlikely to lead to lasting change.
  8. Understand the difference between breakup dynamics and relationship dynamics: After a breakup, your approach to demonstrating change should be different than during the relationship. Focus on rebuilding attraction and value through positive interactions and closeness, while showing your changes gradually.
  9. Watch for opportunities to demonstrate change: As you interact with your ex, be on the lookout for moments where you can show that you’re responding differently to situations.
  10. Remember that change takes time: Whether it’s physical or emotional, change doesn’t happen overnight. Be prepared to put in the effort and be patient as you work towards a better version of yourself.

A Healthy Start to the New Year: 8 Tips From a Wellness Coach

To keep the body in good health is a dutyโ€ฆ otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear. Buddha Coaching Quote

It’s no secret that improving your health and wellness is a huge priority for many people in 2023. In fact, according to a recent study, over 60% of people say that they are looking to make some changes to their lifestyle in order to become more healthy and happy.

If you are one of those people, here are 8 tips from our team of expert fitness coaches that can help you reach your goals:

So what are the best ways to achieve this?

1Get organized:

Set achievable fitness goals and create a plan to achieve them. Having clear, attainable objectives will help you stay motivated and get the most out of your workouts.

2. Move more:

Aim for at least 30 minutes of physical activity per day. This can include walking, jogging, biking, or even just stretching.

Wellness coaching tip: Do things that will make you move more like walking, jogging, biking and more.

3. Eat right:

Aim to include a variety of whole, unprocessed foods in your diet. This can help you get the essential nutrients your body needs while avoiding processed and unhealthy junk food.

4. Stay Hydrated:

It’s important to stay hydrated by drinking plenty of water throughout the day. This will help you stay energized, feel better and even lose weight.

Wellness coaching tip: Always stay hydrated through out the day to keep you energized.

5. Get enough sleep:

Aim for at least eight hours of sleep per night to allow your body and mind to rest and recover properly.

6. Set up an accountability group:

Having a group of friends or family members who are also trying to pursue better health and wellness can be an invaluable asset. Having someone to motivate, encourage and hold you accountable can help you stay on track and reach your goals faster.

Coaching Tip: Be with people who are also motivated to pursue better health.

7. Take time for yourself:

Donโ€™t forget to take some time out of each day to relax and recharge. This can include reading a book, meditating, or just taking a few minutes to clear your head.

8. Have fun:

Health and wellness does not have to be all work and no play! Taking part in activities you enjoy can make it more enjoyable and help you stay motivated over time.

Health and Wellness New Year Goals

By following these 8 tips from our team of expert fitness coaches, youโ€™ll be on your way to optimal health and wellness in 2023.

Donโ€™t forget to stay consistent with your efforts and youโ€™ll be well on your way to achieving your goals!

Health and wellness is a journey, not a destination – make sure to set achievable and measurable goals so you can track your progress and stay motivated as you work towards your goals.

Good luck!

Xavier Smith (Coach X)
Health and Wellness Coach

Walking is the best possible exercise. Habituate yourself to walk very far. Thomas Jefferson Coaching Quote

What Does Your Ex Need To Come Back After A Breakup?

Coach Lee explains what your ex needs in order to come back to you and the relationship. Often times people don’t understand the dynamics of a breakup that cause someone to continue to want to be broken up. It’s important to understand how your ex sees you and how they feel in order to have the best chance to reunite with them. There are some cases where moving on is best, but there are also many times when a broken relationship can be restored.

3 Easy Steps To Overcome and Reverse Negative Thinking Patterns (From A Coach)

Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light. J. K. Rowling (Albus Dumbledore in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, 2004) Coaching Quote

Itโ€™s easier said than done, but with a little bit of practice, you can learn how to control your thoughts and create a more positive trajectory for your future.

Life coaching skills can help you identify negative thought patterns, and equip you with strategies to replace them with more positive thoughts.

Step 1 – Get tuned in to your negative thoughts patterns

Start by tuning into your feelings and recognizing the emotions associated with those thoughts – this can give you insight into whatโ€™s causing them.

Once you notice them, take a step back and think about how that thought is impacting your life.

Recognize the negative thought patterns that come up in your mind.

Once you notice them, take a step back and think about how that thought is impacting your life. 

Then, replace it with something more positive – like gratitude or an affirmation.

Life coaching can help you cultivate the skills necessary to do this.

Step 2 – Visualize your positive mindset

Also, began to manifest the life that you want by visualizing your desired outcome and repeating affirmations out loud or in your head.

This will create a more positive mindset and attract good vibes into your life – helping you create the reality that you desire.

With the right mindset and a bit of practice, you can start to take control of your thoughts and create positive change in your life.

Visualizing is an invaluable tool that can help you achieve long-term success and will enable you to create the life that you want.

Life coaching can also help you cultivate this skill, as well as other tools like manifesting and creating affirmations.

Take control of your thoughts today and start creating a more positive trajectory for your future!

Coaching Tip: Manifest the life that you always wanted by visualizing the desired outcome

Step 3 – Mind mapping

What is mind mapping?

Itโ€™s a powerful technique that helps you organize and prioritize thoughts, ideas, and tasks.

Mind mapping can help you stay focused and organized in your everyday life – and itโ€™s an invaluable tool for achieving long-term success.

Mind mapping can help equip you with the skills necessary to do this, allowing you to identify and break away from negative thought patterns and create a positive mindset.

Manifesting success starts with the mind – so take the first steps toward creating your reality today!

Overcome and reverse negative thinking in 3 simple steps

Conclusion – Make choice for a more positive outlook

Finally, focus on what you can do to make the situation better.

It could be as simple as taking a few deep breaths or talking to someone who can help you work through the issue.

By taking control of your thoughts and reactions, you can change the trajectory of your future and create a more positive outlook on life.

Now it’s your turn! What are you going to commit to today in order to create a better life for yourself and others?

I have some bonus material to share with you! If you like what you have just read, you may also enjoy some classic material from one of my favorite mentors, the late great Earl Nightengale!

Click here to see the video!

I double-dog dare you to watch the video (in full or as much of it as you have time for) and get back to me and let me know how you plan on allowing it to transform your life!

Enjoy and I hope to connect with you soon!

Coach Xavier Smith (aka Coach X)
Health Coach

Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude. Thomas Jefferson Coaching Quote

5 Self Care Goals for the New Year (from a Motivational Coach)

The mind is everything. What you think, you become. Buddha Coaching Quote

Can 2023 be a great year? 

Are you looking forward to having a new year full of positive changes, and the ability to increase self-care, commitment, and happiness?

Here are the 5 things to focus on 2023

#1 New mindset

Start with a new mindset and identify the goals you want to reach. Give yourself a moment to clear your mind for a fresh start.

Every new year we all have a list of new year resolutions that will create great momentum in our lives. Taking the first step in committing yourself to have a new mindset and life change will guide you to where you want to be.

Give yourself a moment to clear your mind for a fresh start.

#2 Stress factors

Get a pen, paper, and time to list all the items that are stressful. You want to be truthful and list everything.

We all have different stress factors in our lives that hold us back from accomplishing our goals or taking on new adventures. Writing everything down allows us to see our day to day in a different perspective. This process will allow you to see what can be removed or replaced to increase your time.

#3 Happiness

Envision what your happiness will look like after removing your stress factors. Write down what you see and how it feels to get there.

Close your eyes and clear your mind to prepare for this process. Take your time to envision what your future self would look like. How do you want your life to be after you journey through life transformation? As mentioned in step two, write it down to keep your visualization as a reminder.

All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them. Walt Disney Coaching Quote

#4 Planning

Start planning. How will you get to where you want to be. What are you planning to do.

All our goals should come with a plan to have the ability and reach successfully. You want to get each goal and determine the current status, the process and future status. Identify routines and structure that will allow you to obtain your goals.

#5 Life coach

Hire a life coach to hold you accountable and be the external support that you need to accomplish your goals.

A life coach will provide you guidance in focusing on your future self. They will keep you focused on your goals and identify all your capabilities. They will assist you in creating awareness and developing tools that will assist you to reach measurable results.

Self-care goals for new year

Take the next step to happiness and accomplishment.

Adriana Duran

Motivational Coach

What Makes An Ex Change Their Mind About Me and the Relationship?

This is what makes an ex change their mind and want to get back together again. Most people don’t understand this concept and struggle to get their ex back or to determine if a reunion is likely. Coach Lee explains what can cause an ex to change their mind and heart so that they want to rekindle the relationship with you.

Freedom from Shame: How I Learned to Break the Cycle of Shame from my Child

Be Mindful Shame Learn Recognize Others

Recognizing how shame impacts us

If you are curious about the impact of shame on us, please keep reading.

Let me make a key distinction between shame, guilt, and humiliation.ย Shame is when our self-worth is at stake.ย We think we are not good enough — that we are not worthy.ย Guiltย is connected with ourย behaviorย – withย something we didย – not with ourselves as human beings. Andย humiliationย is about someone doing something to us thatย makes us feel bad.

The difference between shame, guilt, and humiliation

Why need to be mindful of shame

When we experience shame, things are not so simple. We think this is us and that`s it โ€“ no way out. It makes us stay in our comfort zone and not put ourselves out there, as we think this is who we are.

That said, it is very important to point out that shame is the feeling we need to be most mindful of

The impact of shame

A personal encounter: breaking the cycle of shame

Now I will share a personal story about shame. I recently noticed how I was unconsciously shaming my child. I want to share it with all of you so more people can learn from my mistakes.

I promised my children to play table-hockey in the park. As we didn’t have a lot of time, we agreed to play two games. The first game was over and they were pretty excited to start the second game.  

Then, some children came up to my daughter and told her very impatiently that they wanted to play. She froze, wanting to play a few more minutes with her brother but not knowing what to say. She was ready to let them play and not finish the second game as planned. She looked at me confused, so I told her to finish the second game and then let them play, which she did.

Afterwards, I asked her why she was ready to let them play before finishing. I was frustrated. Her reaction struck me. She said โ€œI don`t know, Mum! I don`t want to talk about it anymore.โ€ 

She shut up and didn’t want to say anything more. We were walking in total silence.ย 

girl experiencing shame

Then it hit me. I remembered shame, and how people react to shame. They close up and keep everything inside. 

And this is exactly what had happened. Unintentionally, I made her experience shame. 

I felt so bad at that moment.  And the first thing I thought was, what do I do to make things better? Well, I decided to use empathy.

I said โ€œHoney, it must have been so frustrating for those children to disturb your game like that!โ€ 

And a miracle happened! I couldn’t recognize my daughter. The silent child was gone. 

She started sharing how annoyed she was with them, and what irritating behavior they had shown! She was so excited when she was sharing her thoughts, and I heard the determination in her voice that she wouldn`t allow the same situation to happen again. I was so relieved!

Be mindful of shame, and learn to recognize it, in you and in others!ย 

Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of acceptance and belonging. Brenรฉ Brown Coaching Quote

Focus On The Process To Get Your Ex Back

Coach Lee explains how to focus on the process to get your ex back and what that process is if you are trying to reunite with an ex boyfriend, ex girlfriend, or straying spouse. Get the Emergency Breakup Kit at https://MyExBackCoach.com/ebk

If you only focus on what you want instead of the steps it takes to get it, you will cause yourself unnecessary stress, delute your efforts, and likely not get back together with the person you love. Coach Lee explains in detail in this video. 

This Happens When Your Ex Feels Your Loss

In this video Coach Lee discusses what occurs when your ex feels your loss after breaking up with you. The timing is usually different for the dumper and the dumpee in terms of when loss is felt. For the dumpee, it’s immediate whereas for the dumper is often takes at least a little longer and usually a solid amount longer to start feeling your loss and the loss of the relationship with you.

How To Change Your Ex’s Mind About You After A Breakup

How to change your ex’s mind about you after a breakup where you want to reunite but your ex does not. Coach Lee explains how atttraction works after a breakup, what you can do to change your ex’s mind about you and shares what not to do if you want to successfully re-attract your ex. Get information on Coach Lee’s Emergency Breakup Kit atย https://myexbackcoach.com/ebkย Video mentioned in this one: The Pyschology of Re-Attraction can be watched at this link:ย https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pp3911RHuYA

Why Is The Dumper So Cold?

Coach Lee explains why the dumper often acts so cold, mean, and heartless after a breakup. It is important that you understand your ex if you want them back. If you don’t want your ex back, then it doesn’t matter and you can just move on, but if you do, understanding how they feel and why they do what they do can be extremely helpful. This is especially true if your ex is being cold and mean. Coach Lee discusses this and more in this powerful video.

Will No Contact Work If My Ex Has Lost Feelings For Me?

Will the No Contact Rule still work if your ex has lost feelings for you? Coach Lee explains what it means if your ex has lost feelings and how no contact can impact that (or if it does). He also discusses what must happen in order for your ex to have a return of their feelings for you so that they want to get back together with you.ย 

How The No Contact Rule Works

Here is an explanation of how no contact works to get your ex back for those who are using the No Contact Rule but are losing hope.

Coach Lee provides reasons why it works and also reads some emails sent to him of real-life cases of people who got their ex back using the No Contact Rule.

There are 5 reasons that Coach Lee goes over in this video of how no contact works and then he finished with an example of a woman who got her boyfriend back and then a man who got his girlfriend back by watching Coach Lee’s videos and following his suggestions closely.

Is My Ex Pretending To Be Over Me?

Coach Lee shares 9 signs that suggest it could be possible that your ex is pretending to be over you. This can be helpful when you are trying to determine if you should move on or if you should take a risk and reach out to your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend. If your ex is showing any of these signs or a combination of them, the odds exist that your ex is not really over you but is pretending to be or wanting you to think that they are over you and done with you forever. If your ex is only pretending, it’s actually a great sign if you are wanting to get back together with them. On YouTube atย https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MsjzvuNRuSQย and full post with reading material atย https://myexbackcoach.com/9-signs-your-ex-is-pretending-to-be-over-you/

What To Do When An Ex Breaks No Contact

What do you do when your ex breaks no contact and reaches out? Do you ignore your ex? If you should respond, what should you say? Coach Lee explains and guides you through what to avoid and what to do when your ex reaches out during no contact. It seems like exactly what you wanted to happen has happened in that your ex has reached out to you, but then it hits you that you aren’t sure how to respond and if there is anything that you should avoid saying or doing when talking to them. This video goes over some things that seem like the right thing to do but that could actually push your ex away again. Coach Lee explains and elaborates so that you understand and are prepared for such a situation. Get Info on Coach Leeโ€™s Emergency Breakup Kit atย https://myexbackcoach.com/emergency-breakup-kit/

How To Make Your Ex Miss You

If your question is, “How do I make my ex miss me after they dumped me?” in this video, Coach Lee will show you how to make your ex miss you so that they want to come back to you and give your relationship another chance.

In this video, Coach Lee, shows and tells you how you can make your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend miss you so that they want to get back together with you. Most people don’t realize how important it is in getting an ex back that they actually miss you. That’s why most of the time, when people are dumped, they act in ways that do the opposite of making their ex miss them. They do things that make their ex want to get away from them and stay away.

Here’s the real deal: Your ex has to miss you in order to want to come back to you. By overwhelming your ex with your presence, you repel them and prevent them from wanting to come back (because there’s no “room” to come back).

What Happens When You Donโ€™t Chase Your Ex

Coach Lee explains what happens when you don’t chase your ex even though you want to get back together with them. Often times people think they need to pursue and chase after they have been dumped in order to get their ex back but as Coach Lee reveals, that is not the case. 

Get Coach Lee’s Emergency Breakup Kit at https://myexbackcoach.com/emergency-breakup-kit/

How to Handle Anxiety in Any Situation

Stop What You Doing Take Big Deep Breath Let Out

Battling anxiety

Ahh Anxiety… that sudden feeling when your heart instantly starts pounding so hard you think it’s going to burst right out of your chest at any given moment, your body is shaking uncontrollably and your breathing is so labored and you can’t think straight. I know this feeling all to well. I have been in many situations just like you, it’s no fun and sometimes it’s down right scary.

I remember a recent time I was in this exact type of situation, in fact, it was so recent thats what prompted this tip. Let’s just say I am not a super great housekeeper, I mean, I have 3 teens and I work full time, plus my coaching business, so somtimes my house is a little chaotic and messy. You know when the laundry is on the couch unfolded, dishes in the sink and mail all over the table. So when my Mom called to say she was stopping by, I went into COMPLETE and UTTER full on anxiety panic attack because my house wasn’t clean or picked up. My daughter and I sped through the house like I had just threw back 10 redbulls. I was shaking, my heart was pounding and my breathing was so hard and fast I thought I was going to faint. After my daughter had calmed me down a bit I was able to remember these simple 5 tips. I knew in a few minutes by doing just a few of these tips below I was going to be ok. 

Tips to handle anxiety

If you find your self in a full on anxiety panic attack, remeber these 5 quick tips to help calm that high anxiety situation. 

  1. Stop what you are doing, take a really big deep breath, let it out. Keep doing this unti your breathing is no longer labored or has leveled out. I suggest around 5 times.
  2. Talk to yourself (yes I said talk to yourself) tell yourself everything will be ok, just calm down (repeat if necessary)
  3. If possible, remove yourself from the situation for just a few minutes to clear your head then go back to it. Take small breaks if needed.ย 
  4. Talk to someone, coworker, friend, neighbor etc. Sometimes just talking it out and having someone listen will ease your anxiety symptoms.
  5. Relax your body, relax your shoulders, arms, face, sit up straight.

I promise you, if you do all 5 or even just a couple of these tips you will significally reduce your high anxiety situation. 

Is My Ex Testing Me? How To Know The Signs

Is your ex testing you or playing head games?

Sometimes it seems that way and sometimes they are. Coach Lee reveals signs that your ex is testing you, explains how you can tell if they are testing you, what it means if they are, and what you should do about it.

Just know that it isn’t necessarily bad news if your ex is testing you and that he or she might not have bad motives for doing so. Coach Lee will explain in this video. If you are asking, “Is my ex testing me?” then this information should be helpful to you.

Coach Lee also guides you through what your response should be that will preserve your own dignity while also giving you the best chance to get back together with them if that is what you want to do. A

test from an ex can be a good sign or a bad one and Coach Lee examines this topic thoroughly in this powerful video. Be sure to watch all the way to the end so that all of your questions are answered and explained.

Easy 10 Minute Grounding Mediation

So far today, have you brought kind awareness to your:

Thoughts?

Heart?

Body?

To begin this Meditation, please bring kind awareness to:

? why you chose this topic

? how your belly, chest, and head each feel when you reflect on this topic

? the emotions that you can associate with these visceral feelings

? the positive or negative impact of any stories you believe in regarding this topic

? the fact that many others are feeling similarly about this topic as you

? how you might feel with increased awareness around this topic

? when you can apply increased mindfulness to this topic in your day-to-day life For My Offers: https://drum.io/iamdawnvason

Stop Complaining and Start Creating – How to Create Your Life Regardless of Circumstance

You Need to Take Responsibility

How to create better circumstances in life

โ€œ…I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can’t find them, make them.โ€

– George Bernard Shaw, Mrs. Warren’s Profession

So here is a quick tip on how to get out in life and start creating a better one instead of complaining about the one you have!  Like I use to do when I was a young lad…


First, let’s talk about the problem

The problem is that the people who don’t reach their goals are usually the ones who complain about it. 

They blame other things or other people for not being able to achieve their goals.

How can you be successful if your failures are always somebody elseโ€™s fault or something beyond what is reasonable to control yourself?  

So here is the toughest lesson I ever had in life prior to my heart attack.

You need to take responsibility for yourself and stop blaming others.

The problem with this mindset of blame, however, seems that the more often it’s used as an excuse not just by individuals but organizations themselves in general across all industries around the world – governments included. But I digress.

Why would you want to hand over so much power to a person or a circumstance anyway?

I should know because I spent a large part of my life locked up due to being bitter, mad, frustrated, and just angry at the world because of what I thought my parents did or didn’t do for me!

I use to spend my time with an angry look on my face. Using it as a defense mechanism!

My thought process back then was โ€œIf my own parents could do me harm, then whatโ€™s to stop a complete stranger from doing the same thing?โ€

I bought into the fear factor! I used my energy to create what I DID NOT WANT instead of creating a better version using the power of my mind.

I soon realized that one of the worst things I could do is to focus on what’s not working in my life and playing the victim role thinking I had nothing to do with how I got to this station in life.

Boy, was I oh so wrong about that!

After years of soul searching and now learning how to shift my focus from what I FEAR or donโ€™t want in my life to focusing on what I can create despite current circumstances, I was finally ready to do the work.

Focus on the positives

So let’s switch gears and place our focus on how we can create a better life instead of wait on one!

I can promise you this.  If you are willing to put in the work and do just one thing daily, you too can begin to create the life of your dreams and be happy for the journey.

It’s not as much about the destination anyway as much as it should be about the ride!

Lets focus on solutions you can take action on so you can create a better life.


Know this

Go-getters will always reach what they are striving towards. They never let circumstances get in the way.

They create their own success by getting up and looking for what they want in life, instead of complaining about what they can’t have.

If you want to be a go-getter then you’ll want to know about how important it is to set clear goals and take action on them every day until you’ve reached your dreams!

Let’s break it down into six focus points

  1. Identify the circumstances you want in life.
  2. Set goals for your desired circumstances.
  3. Create habits that will help you achieve your desired circumstance. 
  4. Get rid of bad habits that will get in the way of achieving the desired circumstance 
  5. Repeat steps 1-4 until you have achieved your desired circumstances or new, better ones!
  6. Share what has changed with others who might be interested in making their own changes!

A quick note about your focus

But what if I need more help?

When I first got serious about changing my own life instead of blaming others, the practice was HARD! 

Notice I used the word PRACTICE because all of life is but a practice right and it’s always going to be hard at first until you get enough practice. 

Besides, think about it this way. There is NO ONE on earth who came out of the womb running full sprints right? 

NO!

We all had to learn how to walk through practice and now we all take that granted too!

So let me give you more ammunition for your voyage to your best life!

DO THIS

Everything I have listed in this article has come by way of 17 years of self-examination and insight into my own life.  The lessons I have learned have been life-changing.  

Now that you know how to create habits for the life you want, it’s time to take action.

But if I’ve helped one person change their habit successfully then this article was worth writing.

So have fun creating those new habits and remember – now is always better than later! 

4 Steps to Reaching Life’s Mountain Peaks

We Must Reach The Peak

Facing obstacles

It is no secret that WE ALL experience obstacles that come into our lives or we must face during our lifetime. Often, these obstacles appear to be bigger than they really are. And once we begin to think and believe that we can sometimes see those obstacles as โ€œmountains in our livesโ€. Maybe it is an obstacle, a decision, a life event or simply something we come to experience that we havenโ€™t before. Regardless of what it is, we CANNOT afford to allow those mountains to become a hinderance. We MUST reach the peak of every mountain and not be satisfied with just the climb. Hereโ€™s 4 Tips to Reaching Lifeโ€™s Mountain Peaks.

Tip #1

โ€œItโ€™s a CHOICEโ€ โ€“ Donโ€™t get mistaken. There is a choice to every single encounter we face in our daily journeys. That choice whether good or bad is a decision we make when we have more than one option or possibility before us. As we face our mountains, the CHOICE is to make progress towards the mountain top (summit).

You see, every mountain has many peaks but only one summit (mountain top). The peaks are simply high points we find while climbing the mountain. Peaks can be found all around the mountain. So, as we climb these mountains, we need to accept that this climb will take time and effort. Yes, our goal is to reach the mountain top, but we first must choose (make a CHOICE) to reach its peak(s) first.

So first comes the choice to not simply climb to the top but making sure to reach the peak(s) that are before us. Why is this a โ€œCHOICEโ€? When choosing to climb to the mountainโ€™s peak(s), we are following the โ€œcourseโ€. We are choosing to not have it all at once. We want to experience the mountainโ€™s life lessons. Taking a break not to stop nor quite but relishing in the moment and processing what we are going through. Make the CHOICE to not just learn to climb the mountain but learn about the mountain as you reach its peak(s). โ€œITโ€™S a CHOICEโ€

Make the choice to not just learn to climb the mountain but learn the mountain when you reach its peak.

Tip #2

โ€œHAVE CONVICTIONโ€ โ€“ It is a DANGEROUS climb in life when there is no conviction present. Anyone can stand for something. But itโ€™s a โ€œchoiceโ€ and a โ€œconvictionโ€ to stand ON something. Our convictions as we climb lifeโ€™s mountain peak(s) is to have a solid belief in what we are doing. If doing the climb, we become distracted to a sense of forgetfulness, we will grow uneasy and want the mountain top experience before even reaching its peak(s).

Our conviction comes in the attitude of regardless of how hard and how long it takes, the climb will continue. Regardless of if we must step down in order to step over or around, the climb will continue. The course can be altered as long as our steps are ordered. And when we KNOW that our steps are ordered we have a conviction even before the climb began. Regardless of what it takes, conviction stands on the promise but also the PRIORITY! The climb, because this is what we must do, will continue! The climb, because this is what is best, will continue! The climb, because we are standing ON something, will continue! โ€œHAVE CONVICTIONโ€

Have conviction in every steps you climb to reach the top.

Tip #3

โ€œBE COMMITTEDโ€ โ€“ Now that โ€œchoiceโ€ and โ€œconvictionโ€ are present, it is time to โ€œbe committedโ€. We have seen the mountain and its peak(s). Weโ€™ve made the decision (choice) and believe (conviction) itโ€™s beneficial to climb. It is of high priority that we โ€œbe committedโ€ to the climb.

Commitment is our dedication, duty, and devotion to what we are standing on. It is the action to our conviction and choices. Commitment to climbing lifeโ€™s mountain peak(s) will involve two actions on our behalf. The first is attentiveness. It makes no sense to experience the mountain without experiencing the climb. There are lessons to be learned during the climb. Attentiveness means we are observing during the climb. That is why we take our time to soak in the experience of the climb and not focus on the experience of the mountain.

The second action is our assurance. Having assurance during the climb means we have confidence in our abilities. There are roads we have not traveled before. There are places we have not been before. And there are mountains we have NEVER climbed before. But there is at least one road, one place and one mountain that โ€œweโ€™ve been there and done thatโ€. So be confident in knowing that if it has been done before, it can be done again. In other words, โ€œBE COMMITTEDโ€.

Be committed in reaching the peak of your life.

Tip #4

โ€œHAVE A WILLโ€ โ€“ Now we have โ€œchoiceโ€, โ€œconvictionโ€ and โ€œcommitmentโ€. The summation of all these characteristics is having a โ€œwillโ€. Having the will to climb the mountain to its peak(s).   This means that there is a REAL determination that forms my โ€œWILLโ€ to climb and during the climb. There can not be any mental lapses but mental fortitude.

Block out the negative and replace with the positive. Donโ€™t allow thoughts of defeat or despair to formulate into giving up. Donโ€™t give in to thoughts regarding previous mountain experiences. Although we have assurance in our abilities because of past experiences, each mountain brings a different experience. To โ€œhave a WILLโ€ means that there is more to this than a desire to climb. It is a declaration to climb. Which means before the climb begins, declare the victory. And when this happens, our โ€œchoiceโ€, โ€œconvictionโ€ and โ€œcommitmentโ€ are the actions that really follow and not precede โ€œHAVING A WILLโ€.

Have the determination and will during your climb to your life's peak.

Psychology of the No Contact Rule for Dumpers, Men, and Women

Coach Lee explains the psychology of the no contact rule on a dumper (your ex) after a breakup. You’ll learn how the no contact rule affects your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend after he/she broke up with you.

This is an important video if you are wanting to know how the no contact rule psychologically affects your ex and if it can help the two of you reunite.

Get Coach Leeโ€™s Emergency Breakup Kit

Attachment Styles and Breakups

Coach Lee discusses attachment styles after a breakup and how someone’s attachment style could respond to the No Contact Rule.

How do secure attachment styles respond to the No Contact Rule? How to avoidant attachment styles respond to the No Contact Rule? How to anxious attachment styles respond to the No Contact Rule? All are discussed in this video.

No Contact And Marriage To Get A Husband Or Wife Back

Does the No Contact Rule work for marriages that are separated and headed toward divorce? Can no contact get your husband or wife back if they have left you or want a separation or divorce? Coach Lee explains a modified form of the No Contact Rule that is for marriage and also goes over details of behavior and expectations for interacting with your spouse (or separated spouse).

See also Does No Contact Always Work?

Why Is My Ex Taking So Long To Come Back?

Coach Lee explains possible reasons why your ex is taking so long to contact you after they broke up with you. This is assuming you are using the no contact rule and are wanting to get back together with your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend after they dumped you.

Sometimes just because your ex is taking a while to reach out doesn’t mean that you want get them back and Coach Lee explains what could be going on and what to expect in this powerful video. 

VIDEOS Mentioned In This One: 

Signs Your Ex Is Hurting 

Stages Your Ex Goes Through During No Contact

Phases of a Rebound Relationship  

Signs Your Ex’s Rebound Relationship Will Fail

When Your Ex Reaches Out During No Contact  

Seeย Coach Lee’s Life Coach Hub Pageย and get info on Coach Lee’s Emergency Breakup Kit

What Is Limerence?

What is limerence? In this video, relationship strategist Coach Lee, discusses the mental state of limerence and what you can do if your spouse or ex boyfriend/girlfriend is having a limerence affair with someone. Coach Lee compares limerence vs love and discusses what you can do if they are infatuated with this other person (known as the limerent object).

If your marriage is in trouble and you are separated due to your spouse having a limerence affair, this video will explain what is going on and why it seems you can’t compete with this other person.

So what is Limerence? It is a state of mind where people often leave marriages or long term, stable relationships to, instead, be with someone they haven’t known for a long time at all but have amazing, sky-high feelings for. Dr. Tennov studied people in this infatuation and coined the term/word โ€œlimerence.โ€

Coach Lee also discusses how you may fight for the heart of the one you love if they are in Limerence. When a spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend is experiencing limerence, they are under the influence of the chemicals associated with that mental state. Those brain chemicals are mainly dopamine and serotonin.

The ex lover or spouse in limerence is addicted to those chemical highs and is always chasing the greatest high experienced from the relationship. What they don’t realize is that they can never duplicate that high again – though they might come close. Over time the highs get lower and lower until the person feels they have โ€œfallen out of love.โ€ They will then be vulnerable to chasing that high through the host of another person.

Reach outย to receive more information on Coach Lee’s Emergency Breakup Kit.

Signs Your Ex Will Eventually Come Back To You

In this video, Coach Lee shares signs that show your ex will eventually come back after a breakup. If you have been dumped and are wondering if your ex is going to come back to you at some point, the signs that Coach Lee shares will give you some direction and an idea on the odds of your ex coming back to you and wanting to rekindle the relationship.

These signs will be ones you can see even if you aren’t in contact with your ex and don’t know what is fully going on with them. Lee also provides some bonus signs at the end of the videos that are stated one after the other without explanation since they are self explanatory. Reach out to receive more information on Coach Lee’s Emergency Breakup Kit.

SUBSCRIBE To Coach Lee on YouTube.

Get the Most Out of Your Day

Planning Your Day the Night

Losing track of time

Ever check your watch and realize it’s 1pm, you haven’t had lunch, and you’ve lost track of time? Don’t worry about being judged if you said “yes”. Many people lose track of their day. I know this all too well because I used to struggle with it as well until I started applying simple time management techniques. I started planning my day the night before.

Time management

Planning your day the night before or even days before is vital in time management. For example, if you are a recruiter you will need to plan your time a week in advance. Be mindful though, there will be interruptions to the normal work day that will result in some things not being completed. That is alright if there is no firm deadline on completion. Simply commit to completing it the following day.

Begin your Sunday planning for the upcoming week. If you notice you have no committed schedule throughout your day, purchase a planner to include time slots and sections for monthly calendars as well. Begin planning Monday being sure to outline the items that must be completed that day. I love to list seven tasks for my day each day that must be completed. Four tasks are for my life improvement or my business, and three are large items I must complete at work. Here is an example:

Although this is not how simple most of our days can be planned, it does attach some time slots and deadlines to what should be taken care of when i.e. 9am meeting and lunch order for the executives. No oneโ€™s day is this smooth as we all know, but given the right tools anyone can plan their day with a little time management.

Evaluating your day

Taking a closer look at how to manage our time, we must look at how the day begins. Some of us are not morning people. This is where the struggle begins. Best practice is to start your day at least 30 minutes before you normally would to allow yourself some time to meditate and gather your thoughts for the day.

If you arenโ€™t into meditating but love music, turn on your favorite station. Notice, there was no mention of turning on the news or television. Unfortunately, television has been proven to consume too much of our time and energy and draws us into negative space. This is not conducive to our goal of managing time and creating positive energy.

As you listen to your favorite music, you can gather your outfit for the day. I tend to do this on Sunday evening to ensure I have something ready for Monday and Tuesday. At times, I find myself preparing all five days but letโ€™s take this slow for now.

Next prepare for a cool shower to invigorate and wake you up. Your shower should last about seven minutes and should not be very hot. It is not recommended to take cold showers as this can shock your system and cause major medical issues, but a cool shower is quite beneficial. Cool showers help promote fat loss, improves immunity, provides better circulation, and enhances skin and hair.

Checking your planner

Throughout the course of your day, continue to review your planner to ensure you are sticking to your schedule. When a new event comes up, be sure to add it to your planner so you can keep track of things.

Understand you are going through this transformation to be a better person and make the most of your time to enjoy your life. Donโ€™t feel guilty for having more goals for yourself daily over your employer. After all, if you donโ€™t work on you and care about you, who will? The goal is for you to be a better you, not a better employee. A better you results in a better employee, employer, and/or person. Letโ€™s work together to create the best you!

Please feel free to visit my catalog to review the products and services I offer such as Motivational Coaching, Confidence Coaching, Career Coaching, Generalized Coach, Work-Life Balance Coaching and of course, Time Management Coaching. As a reminder, it is always best to sign up for a Clarity Session. This gives us an opportunity to determine if we are a good fit for one another, and if the coaching I have will work for you.

How our Maps of Reality Create our Stress: NLP Coaching Series

As humans, we create an internal map of reality. Then we respond to reality, through the internal map of reality.

We confuse our internal reality, our internal map of the world, with the world itself. Essentially as humans we are made to project our internal reality outwards into the world, and then mistake the projection as what is truly real.

This is the key cause of our loss of mental well-being. Majority of our problems with our relationship with life, occur because we confuse our internal reality for the outside reality – and then we expect life to behave in a particular manner that matches our expectations.

We create assumptions about how reality should be, then we create expectations based on these assumptions and these expecations are not met, which causes us stress, anxiety, pain, discomfort and a loss of mental well-being.

What is Awareness annd How Does It Help Us Shift Our Lives? NLP Coaching Series

As humans we are aware. Yet we rarely think about awareness itself. We tend to take awareness for granted.

When we fully recognise that awareness is our primary nature, then we change the way we think about ourselves and the world. 

In effect, awareness is exactly what is required for us to be able to make shifts in our lives. Every shift that you have ever experienced happened because you experienced and connected with a level of awareness in which the shift became a possibility.

Therefore, awareness is the primary reality within which we appear.

This video explains how a powerful shift of awareness occurs and how we can access higher states of awareness.

Your Belief System Determines Everything: Tips to get started on determining your beliefs

Your Beliefs May Be What

Optimizing your belief system: Tips for a systematic review

Our beliefs and belief system determines not just what we do, but why we do and don’t do certain things. Unfortunately, most of our beliefs were instilled in us from the time we were born. They are not necessarily our own beliefs nor are all of them empowering. In fact, many of us have limiting and conflicting beliefs that we may not even be aware of that may be holding us back.

It is imperative to identify the main beliefs holding us back as well as the ones that empower us, before embarking on any serious and meaningful endeavor. This is especially important when the endeavor has not been fruitful in the past. Your beliefs may be what is holding you back.

What to do?

Start with making a list of all your beliefs, categorize each of your beliefs, question why you have each belief (one by one), and then go back (at a later time) and deeply introspect what you have written down. This list can also include what you donโ€™t believe in and must also include the reason why you donโ€™t subscribe to these particulars beliefs (ex: I donโ€™t believe in the devil). Letโ€™s look at each step one by one.

1. Your main objective is to list everything you believe (and donโ€™t). It is important that you begin by identifying your personal beliefs (no matter what they may be). Write down as many as possible at this time. The time to sort them out will come later. Again, make sure to include what you donโ€™t believe in or oppose. This is not the time to question them, but simply list them out as they come into our mind.

2. Next, label each belief as a core, empowering, or limiting belief. Simply go down your list and place a C, E, or L (Core, Empowering, Limiting) next to each one. This part may be a little tricky, but it is important to begin somewhere. This is as good a starting point as any and it’s only your first draft so donโ€™t stress it. You can and should come back, review, and revise your list as often as necessary. A quick description of each category follows:

3. The next step is to sort and group the beliefs by category (core, empowering, limiting) and then begin to question each one and why you have chosen to believe it. Write out your reasons as this will be the central focus going forward in your quest to optimize your belief system. 

4. Once your list has been completed, categorized, sorted, and you have your reasons behind each belief, then you can commence the final step in this process. At this point, give yourself some time and go about doing something else (living your life). You should come back to your list in a few days, but no later than a week later, to review what youโ€™ve written down. The next step deserves and warrants a more descriptive explanation and instruction. This is when you begin to question the โ€œwhyโ€ of your beliefs. This requires deep introspection and is a bit more difficult to accomplish. It will definitely require many passes and a whole lot more time. This is where deep thought and work is required. As such, your mind and setting should be properly prepared and optimized for this task.

As I mentioned, this is just the starting point and one to build upon. This list and exercise is by no means the final product. Unfortunately, many people will not complete this exercise as it requires a lot of thinking and thinking is very difficult and demanding. It also forces us to not just identify our beliefs, but to question them, and we donโ€™t always like what we uncover. However, this is exactly what needs to be done in order to progress to the next process: The Self.

It is amazing how many people try to reach goals or solve problems without ever questioning their belief system. In my experience, this is the one and only starting point to any successful endeavor and one that cannot be overlooked or understated. Do it and you will be surprised how much easier your process to success becomes.

Coach Nelson Acosta

Master Positive Psychology Coach

Spin How You Feel! Try it Now to Feel Better

Revisiting mistakes is an opportunity

Changing how we think

I learned the spinning the feeling technique when I was in London on an NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) course with Richard Bandler, one of the founders of NLP in the 1970’s. Since then I have used this on numerous occasions both with clients and on myself. It works like magic.

NLP works on the structure of thought. How we think. I have studied with both founders over the years and other amazing trainers too. It was developed in the 1970’s as a way of studying people who were excellent in their chosen field, in way of replicating the behaviour. What happened aside from increasing the speed of learning, also left behind a trail of techniques.

Unfortunately, many people now think the techniques are what NLP is about. This is not the case, but the techniques are useful and I use many different technqiues as a tool to help clients change their lives.

Spinning how you feel

We create our perceived reality through our senses:

This technique works predominantly with the feeling, kinesthetic sensations in our body.  Until asked, most people describe their feelings as a pain in the head, or butterflies in the stomach, some people struggle initially to add a description to the feeling. I invite you here to go along with the exercise without any pressure or thinking getting in your way, notice what you notice, feel what you feel and you might just be surprised at the change.

Spinning feelings is a set of simple, quick and efficient techniques that can be used to deal with a wide range of personal issues. 

The basic idea is this. You focus your attention on a feeling in the body, discover how it rotates, then pretend to move it out of the body, switch the direction of the rotation and finally put it back in the same place again. The point with this trick is that the feeling cannot be entirely still โ€“ it must move in some way or it would attenuate. But since it canโ€™t rotate in two opposite directions at once, the old pattern is interrupted and the feeling disappears.

Seek out the bad experience

If you now think back upon the event youโ€™ve worked on you will likely notice that your feelings are entirely different, less unpleasant. Often one remembers more positive circumstances and details that were previously overshadowed by the dominating bad feeling. This can sometimes be an opportunity to reflect on the experience and learn something that one hadnโ€™t thought of before.

Iโ€™ve often found that in this situation it is relatively easy to forgive what someone has done, that life or the world in general has been awful or perhaps yourself for having done something stupid. regular_smile.png

Practical Training Tips for Art Coaching

You Can Expect Opportunities In Life

Simple acts

In order to create your life, you need simple acts. But this “simple” is not always  easy. Sometimes we know what we need to do, but the steps seem difficult for us. And sometimes we do not have an exact plan. These tips will help you to start.
Life as an art cannot be copied; it must be created.
What symbol comes to your mind when thinking about your life?

Creating our future

If today we discover an artist within ourselves, tomorrow we can create our future. Every small step is valuable… Small deeds create great things. The first step to the Moon was created by many efforts… Our life is composed of many steps. Whole lively images are not possible without following of steps that will compose it.
Leave only what you really like and want.

Being creative

Creativity is the art of vision for what is not real yet. Our skills start to develop and display from inside to outside, appearing in outside environment by measure of our belief in our abilities. Art exists as a result of knowing the world. Then living becomes part and parcel of the practice of art.
โ€œGo confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.โ€ โ€“ Henry David Thoreau

Design your ideal life.

The creation of a final goal is part of a person’s uniqueness… In order for the living creature to be real, it must simultaneously transfigure itself by going beyond itself… Do not try to please others. It is much more interesting to live a unique life, instead of trying to be someone’s duplicate.

Art is a partnership between people and the world. Our life plan is our strategy to deal with the world around us.

Creating our own opportunities

Create opportunities. You can expect an opportunity in life or just try to create it yourself. Focus on what you want, not on how you will achieve this. When you are open to new opportunities everything becomes possible.

Gratitude is a way of creativity.

โ€œThe only hurdle between you and what you want to be in is the support of other people.โ€ David Joseph Schwartz

We can find out who we are through seeing ourselves in our interaction with others.

Thea art coaching workbook

In the Art Coaching Workbook, you will find the unique formula for your created life. Thereโ€™s really something for every one, no matter what their goals and dreams might be. You will enjoy this. You’ll be surprised at the effective tactics, and they are fun! It consists of 12 simple monthly modules to help you create your life.
Each month you will have a new module: 

This is about the art of responding creatively to changes and problems, in everyday life, work, and relationshipsโ€ฆFor happy living you need one thing: creativity! Creativity is not just reserved for artists – it is true that each man has an artist within!

Artcoaching is a guide to life that combines advice for creativity from Artcoaching theory with its Practical Training Tips and Tools.
This book is dedicated to the coaching of life through art. The Artcoaching methods will help you to create the destiny of your own life as an art. 

What is the difference between art coaching and other methods?

Artcoaching is not a new method of self-improvement, but a fundamentally different way of thinking and acting to achieve desired goals. Do not pursue, but receive. And do not change yourself, but come back to yourself. The meaning of these words will be clear only at the end of the book.

My Secret Sauce for Good Organization

Why am I always so well organised and never miss a deadline? Find out im this short video!

Healing After a Breakup

Every Moment is a Blessing

End of relationships

A common challenge that many of us face is going through the emotional ups and downs that inevitably happen when a relationship comes to an end.

The following relationship coach tip will help you release and let go of any negative emotions that might be getting in the way of letting go of your previous relationship.

Let’s face it. Whenever a breakup occurs in a relationship, one of both parties will have a tendency to go through a variety of different emotions and feelings.

And that’s ok.

But, truth be told, when we find ourselves wondering when will the pain ever end and the healing begin. That’s when we have the opportunity to grow beyond on the limited expectations and beliefs that we had in our previous relationship.

How to heal from a breakup

One of the most effective ways that you can begin to heal after the end of a relationship is to take time each day to practice the following post-relationship healing technique.

  1. Take a few moments to make yourself comfortable and relax as you allow yourself to focus on what you are feeling and experiencing in the moment.
  2. Bring your focus and attention on any issue revolving around the break-up and past relationship that you would like to feel better about.
    Depending on what stage you are in the break-up the feelings that you feel might be really strong or just a lingering yet intrusive feeling. No matter what, just welcome the feeling as best you can.
  3. As you continue to allow the feelings that you are feeling to be there ask yourself… “Could I let this feeling go?”
    Keep in mind, that you are asking yourself this question to simply see if the act of letting go is possible. It really doesn’t matter if you answer “Yes” or “no” both are acceptable.
  4. No matter if you said “Yes” or “no” to letting go of the feelings that you are feelings, ask yourself… “Would you let go?”
    Now, as you ask yourself this, try to stay away from getting into an internal debate as best you can More importantly, remember that you are doing this process for you in order to gain clarity and freedom from a past relationship that is no longer serving you.
    If you find yourself, still saying “no” or if you are not sure if you are willing to let go, just consider if you would rather have the feelings that you are feeling now or would you rather be free.
  5. Regardless of how you responded to “would you let go?” ask yourself… “When? When will you let go?”
    At this time, you may find yourself easily letting go. However, never forget that letting go is a decision you can make any time you choose to.
  6. Repeat steps 1 thru 5 as often as you need to gain more clarity and freedom from your past relationship. 

As you continue to go through this process again and again, what you will discover is that the results you get from it will become greater and greater.

Feel happy again

Of course, as you can imagine, when you are able to run through this process and many others like it with a life coach, you are able to dive even deeper into the challenge that you face and experience the kind of freedom that you might not have even known was possible.

Yet, truth be told, you donโ€™t need anyone elseโ€™s permission to be happy. And hopefully you have begun to realize that the more you can accept what is, embrace it fully, and live for something greater than just yourself, the easier it will become to let go of those things that no longer serve you.

Also, if you have difficulty feeling your emotions you can start by simply focusing your attention on any holding or tension that you might be feeling in your body. Just allow yourself to feel your body from within and gently release any holding or tension that you have been carrying since the breakup or end of your relationship.

Whatโ€™s more, deep down you probably already know this but I am going to say it anyway. Every moment is a blessing so spend your moments on things that truly matter in your heart.

In the end, the choice is yours:

Thaddeus Ferguson is a Master Life Coach and the founder of www.HealYouFirst.com

He has been helping people lead more empowered lives by changing the way they view life on a deeper more spiritual level.

10 Common Excuses Keeping You From Getting Paid Clients: Part 1

It's your job to facilitate transformation

What is getting in the way?

Okโ€ฆ so weโ€™ve established that youโ€™re brilliant, talented, and have life experience that makes you a unique asset to others.

We know you can coach, teach, mentor or help others heal with what you know right now, but something is stopping you from making an offer, or your offer is falling flat, or insert reason here: [x].

So if this sounds like you, keep reading because in this series Iโ€™m going to help you solve this problem today.

Excuse #1: Keeping you from getting paid clients:

People can do this on their own

Youโ€™ve no doubt heard the old saying, โ€œWhy buy the cow when you can get the milk for free,โ€ right?

When your growing you’re a coaching business, thereโ€™s a common Monkey Mind thought that goes โ€œWhy would people hire me when they could just get this information for free?โ€

While itโ€™s true that someone could just hop on โ€œGoogleโ€ or โ€œYouTubeโ€ to learn about virtually anything they want (and trust me I certainly have). However, in most instances, itโ€™s just not enough.

People are busier than ever these days, and though they can pop right over to Google or YouTube, if they had someone – and by someone I mean you! – offering them a way to help them get results quicker and easier than theyโ€™ve been able to alone, they would totally allocate the resources to get started.

This segues right into excuse #2.

Excuse #2 Keeping you from getting paid clients:

Can I really get them the results I promise?

A lot of coaches & mentors fear this one, especially newbies. You worry about speaking to results for fear that you may not actually be able to help clients get any results.

The question to ask yourself is โ€œWhy am I taking on the responsibility of doing the WORK for my clients?โ€

Yes, why are you?

No one can really โ€œpromiseโ€ results.

No one can really "promise" results

Itโ€™s your job to facilitate transformation. Got it. FACILITATEโ€ฆ Itโ€™s their job to show up and GET the transformation by actually DOING the work.

Now, if this is a case where youโ€™re just not confident with yourself as a coach, teacher, mentor or healer, then get the training you need or hire a coach yourself to show you how to do what you do better.

Need help uncovering the transformation you provide? I got you. Click above to send me a message.

Excuse #3 Keeping you from getting paid clients:

Clients sometimes can't afford your services

My audience doesnโ€™t have any money

Youโ€™re telling me that as an actual fact?

Reallyโ€ฆ you know that to be the absolute truth?

Andโ€ฆ youโ€™re sure about this?

Granted some will be more apt to hire you than others but we donโ€™t want to assume the primary reason is โ€œmoney.โ€ Thereโ€™s a question Iโ€™d ask you to consider beyond whether these people can afford you and that is โ€œIs this audience the right fit for who I am?โ€ But we’ll talk about that next time.

Now, if youโ€™ve followed me or listened to me for any length of time, youโ€™ll know that I stand behind the knowing that you ALWAYS get what you TRULY expect.

When youโ€™re assuming what someone can and cannot do youโ€™re projecting your own money stuff. Thatโ€™s about you, not them.

See, when someone wants a solution to a challenge bad enough, youโ€™ll be amazed at how they come up with the money for what they want.

If youโ€™ve seen the kind of people in your audience being served by other coaches successfully, youโ€™d better believe that โ€œtheyโ€ can afford it.

Now if they donโ€™t see the value in working with you, thatโ€™s a problem I can help with. Itโ€™s a problem I love helping with.

Hereโ€™s what youโ€™ll need:

There ya’ have it. Watch out for my next article for tips 4-6

Check out the whole series

10 Common Excuses Keeping You From Getting Paid Clients: Part I

10 Common Excuses Keeping You From Getting Paid Clients: Part II

10 Common Excuses Keeping You From Getting Paid Clients: Part III

Sex Magic Starts With You

Our bodies are gifts to be cherished

Fall in love with your body

When you learn to fall in love with your body. You create Sex Magic in your bedroom.

What is Sex Magic? Sex magic is Tantra, which is a beautiful practice of the divine goddess within you that is awakened using your natural sexual energy. Even if you’re not having sex.

Sex is the creation of all life. The whole world was created in the womb. That alone should make you wake up and cherish your body. We have forgotten that our bodies are a gift to be cherished and worshiped by ourselves and our lovers.

It saddens me to meet so many people who do not love their bodies.

Body shaming

Body shaming is an epidemic. I want to share with you a little bit about my body shaming past and though my story may sound different than yours, I can asure you the pain is the same. But we are adults now and we teach people how we deserve to be treated.

I have always been very busty and what society thinks is attractive. Whatever that means. Ever since I was a little girl. I was told that if I was this pretty or busty that men would only want one thing from me and that there is no way I could be smart or spiritual. No one would respect me if I have big breasts and on top of it, I had a great awareness of my own sexual energy. This literally consumed my entire life. I let that shit live in my tissues and became what I was told. “Your issues are in your tissues.” I have spent 40 years healing that energy and I can tell you, your body is perfect and you can do anything no matter what size, shape or color God designed you to be.

Loving yourself

If you want a healthier fitter body thats great too because everything is possible when you love yourself first. We all want to look better that is normal, but it should come from a place of love, not hate. God is love and you are LOVE because you are GOD.

Body image techniques

  1. Get naked (no really take your clothes off) Sit in comfortable cross legged position in front of a mirror and lightly touch your whole body. You can use a feather or your finger nails. Just touch in a loving way and enjoy your beautiful skin that you wear everyday.
    You can spend a couple minutes on any area that feels the most delicious and just breathe.
  2. Put your hand on your heart and the other hand on your lower belly. Gaze into your eyes. Really gaze into your eyes in the mirror and see inside this beautiful body. All the cells, muscles, tissues and organs. Thank your body for everything it does for you everyday.
    The first time you do this you might start to cry or laugh. This is normal. Just accept whatever arises. Loving ourselves is hard work.
  3. Invest in a dry brush. Dry brushing moves the lymphatic system and aids is detoxication. When you detox, you can start to raise your vibration for further energy healing. Dry brush every part of your body towards the heart. Try not to over brush just a consistent firm upward motion is all you need. Dry brushing over your chakras in a clockwise circular motion for a minute and using affirmations for each chakra to open and receive divine healing is very effective.
    Dry brushing is good for cellulite reduction, exfoliating skin, removing negative energy, opening up chakras and cleaning up your lymphatic system.

I hope you will find these 3 easy steps a juicy way to start loving your amazing body.

Healing from your insecurities

I know that as soon as you see your body as the magnificent gift that it is You will appreciate it so much more. Do you love your car? Of course you do, it provides you with freedom to go where you want to go. I have met people who treat their cars better than their bodies. I get it. I love my car because I manifested it. But my body comes first and so should yours..

And please get over it. Who ever body shamed you or is still body shaming you is no longer in control of your happiness. You are whole and healing. You are a Spiritual Bombshell.

These are just 3 simple steps to start loving your body tonight. If you feel inclined to learn more, please book a coaching session with me. I love to do a free introduction on skype for 10 to 15 minutes so you can see if we resonante together.

I love rituals. The true Goddess’s of evolution believed in rituals to love their lives. I know we are busy, so I always try to make rituals short and realistic to acheive the best reults.

In Love and Light

Kimberlee

The Rabbit Hole: Dealing with the Depths of your Mind

Sometimes Your Greatest Enemy is Yourself

Feeling pain

Do we, as people, always want to heal ourselves or be healed, to have the pain just washed away? The question is how far down the rabbit hole within yourself can you do.?

Sometimes, we fear touching the root of our issues because they are so far down the rabbit hole that we have supressed them comepletely. The problem is that no matter how much we supress pain, there are things in life that trigger that pain and we can’t control how it affects us or when it happens. Or can we?

Finding the root

The truth is I believe we always could, but we get so angry and wrapped in our own pain and sense of justice that we completely forget the root of the problem or why we were even upset in the first place. Since we dont try to touch the root of the problem, we lose sight of what it was. This happens to many if not most people .

But it is possible! When you can accept them, you can accept others and move on and live better. The great thing about life coaching is you are not alone. There are people out there that care and want to help people move past the hurt and pain, but the person in pain has to be willing to open up their hearts to it.  

What is the rabbit hole?

The Rabbit Hole is the depth of your mind. It can run deep, but it is possible to go so far into their mind and dig into the your pain and face it. Sometimes your greatest enemy is yourself, and facing ourselves is the hardest part in life.

We are afraid ourseleves whether we want to admit it or not. I learned though if we face these fears everything else the comes our way is a lot easier. Even for Life coaches life can get a lttle crazy. For me, life has not been easy nor has it been easy to admit my flaws even out loud. I have had to face the scariest demon and that demon was me. I am still learning though to forgive myself. This is a huge step for anyone, trying to forgive yourself is never easy, but my company is about forgivenss and seeing the beauty in yourself.

Learning to love yourself

Today, I learned not to beat myself up because it’s easier to beat yourself up then admit you can be better. It’s easier to put yourself down than to say I can do this or I am better than this.

What is life?

Nothing really made sense until I was 30, and now that I’m 33, things actually now make sense especially because I always thought my parents were crazy and overbearing. But it is true what they say as you get older and have kid you will learn.

The Rabbit Hole is symbolic for tapping into the darkest part oneโ€™s mind, the part we fear or donโ€™t want to deal with. Today, we will tap into a part of the rabbit hole, for the rabbit hole goes deep and has many layers to it. There will be various series to this life coaching tool that will tap and touch different topics of life and how we can deal with them and make better lifestyle choices

Alice in Wonderland

For those that know about the rabbit hole here is a bit of history:

Alice and Wonderland is not an original Disney Movie. It is actually a Grimmโ€™s Brothers Dark fairy tale. The Grimm Brotherโ€™s stories are based on adventures they had and the people they met on the way. One of their adventures led them to a young girl in an Asylum named Alice, who was babbling out following a white rabbit down the rabbit hole and meeting these weird and interesting characters. What we don’t know is Alice was technically on various drugs and probably on LSD. Asylums back in the 1800โ€™s were horrible places with terrible conditions, and treated their patients like test subjects rather than actual patients, performing weird experiments, and using unethical practice which were more damage to patients then help.

Staying In Your Comfort Zone: Don’t Jump Out of Your Comfort Zone

Instead of jumping out of your comfort zone just enlarge it

Staying in your comfort zone

I suggest you to remain in your comfort zone at all times!

You probably know already that there are times you have a chance to get what you want, only if you step out of your comfort zone, right? It is TRUE, but only for those who are fully comfortable with stepping out of their comfort zone, which is only about 5%. All others are stuck right here – at the edge of their comfort zones. Look around and you will see a whole crowd stuck exactly here, feeling guilty, stressed and over-challenged.

Do not worry, I am here to rescue you! My advice is:

JUST STAY IN YOUR COMFY ZONE! YOU ARE ALREADY GOOOOD ENOUGH!

Stop dreaming about…

Let’s stop dreaming about wrong things.

Instead, do the following:

How do you feel about this action plan?

My guess is that you still have not fully bought in and need more details.

How to use your comfort zone to your advantage

Instead of jumping out of your comfort zone, just enlarge it. Let your future in by creating a supportive way to your destination. 

I found that the idea of enlarging the Comfort Zone works much better with most of my clients – Corporate Leaders – because they are already challenged enough by their business objectives. In their Individual Development Plans, they are usually looking for something more positive, optimistic and doable, than challenging and stressful.

Now letโ€™s check if you have Your Comfort Zone!

Let’s admit it! You probably do not have Your Comfort Zone at all, and you have nothing to step out of yet. Check if you have some of the faults of very Successful People:

Guilt 1: You may feel too stressed just because you are over-committed

Guilt 2: You may feel guilty from missing your strategic targets in everyday chaos

Guilt 3: You may be adrenalin-dependent, so you feel bored without being overwhelmed and over-challenged

SO WHAT?

Don’t you think that the mess of stress, guilt, and dependency is not the best spot to live your life?

Let’s start with creating Your Comfort Zone right now! 

Find your comfort zone

Look around or inside. Find something you really like. Let it in. Go further. Let all the beauty and energy of your life IN with your every breath! Let it happen for a few seconds and you will find your comfy spot right away. Write this down and practice on a permanent basis.

Feel your comfort zone

Find a way to make yourself comfier HERE & NOW.  I mean really, here and now! Nothing really exists, but your HERE & NOW! Just think about this for a moment: NOW – it is all you have total control over! So find your way to feeling more comfortable right now – it could be a very simple change: people, actions, environment, attention. We are building your awareness regarding this precious moment of Here & Now.

Fuel your comfort zone

What we focus on – increases! So you should manage your attention! Connect with everything that gives you energy:

Disconnect yourself from everything that drains your energy. Practice on a permanent basis. It will feed your comfort zone.

Let’s create your comfort zone before even thinking about stepping out of it.

Achieving your strategic goals

How is all this buzz regarding Comfort Zone connected with your Strategic Goals? I believe that positive development means enlarging capabilities, opportunities, and power. It starts from creating a meaningful and enjoyable Comfort Zone.

When you schedule our first free consultation, I will ask you:

Step by step I will help you to see new possibilities, useful resources, powerful beliefs, and make your future your present comfort zone.

Forgiveness Sets You Free: How to Forgive People

Choose to Forgive and Set Yourself Free

Why is it difficult to forgive and move forward?

If forgiveness is therapeutic, and change is constant, then why do we get stuck in long-term patterns of pain, anger, and depression about our past?

Surprisingly, fear is one of the things that keeps us from forgiving others. Why fear?

All of these feelings come from our sense of having a lack of control over what happened. And we are right to feel that way. We shouldnโ€™t deny it, or bury it deep in our subconscious and not deal with it. Something did happen!

For that brief, or sometimes not-so-brief moment, the other person had control over we feel…

Sure, whatever they actually did to cause your pain is terrible, but it is this feeling of lack of control, or uncertainty, that really wounds to the core the deepest. The hurt and pain of the original offense, plus the hurt from feeling a lack of control, combined with knowing exactly who to blame for your pain, makes it very easy to gravitate towards an unforgiving anger or bitterness.

Common reactions to pain and hurt

When we get hurt and lose this control, one common way that weโ€™re able to regain some of our control back is to get angry and lash out. We lash out to different people.

By choosing to get angry, weโ€™re now in control of what emotions we feel. Now weโ€™re not feeling helpless, now we feel powerful again! Anger allows us to be on the offensive, as opposed to being hurt by someone else, and on the defensive.

Besides anger being the most common, there are a lot of other unhealthy ways we can regain control, which includes the following:

These options are not healthy, and over the long-term, they will cause much more hurt and pain and long-lasting consequences in a personโ€™s life than the original offense would have.

How fear affects us

Ok, so lack of control makes sense, but then how does fear fit into all of this? Fear leads us to believe many things:

Our fear is a subtle deception because it causes us to respond to the offense in a way that takes a stand against it. But have you really taken a stand? There is some truth to this โ€”but itโ€™s not the whole truth. We should take a stand against injustice. But are we incapable, of both taking a stand and forgiving them? We can, and should, both take a stand and forgive them.

Examine yourself deeply. Think about the person who offended you and how it makes you feel. While you do this, pay attention to where your mind goes immediately afterwards.

Better to forgive than to hang on to your anger

Remember, hanging on to bitterness and anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other guy to die. Choose to forgive them and set yourself free! Notice the words that I used. Choose. Itโ€™s a choice! You can be in control, and in a healthy way, by choosing to forgive them. And you can choose to do this whether they have apologized or not, whether they deserve it or not. Itโ€™s your choice.

โ€œWe canโ€™t control what others do that hurt usโ€”We can only control what we do in response to that hurt.โ€ This is the empowering truth. Making the conscious decision to forgive someone who has hurt you is one of the healthiest, and most empowering, things you can do in response to that hurt.

Hanging on to things like grudges, bitterness, or resentment will foster an environment of stress, in both your mind and your body.

Whether itโ€™s the form of pharmaceutical drugs or alcohol or illicit drugs, these things could actually just be crutches used to suppress the emotional and mental stress stemming from your past hurts and hangups. Forgiveness can set you free! Over time, a lifestyle of forgiveness will begin to produce a happier and healthier youโ€”emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically.

How to Transform Anger Into Passion: Four Steps

Express Anger

Transforming anger into passion

Before we move into explaining how anger can be transformed into passion, we need to understand the differences among… 

They are all different and by creating clarity around them will help us later on. 

When we talk about feeling angry, we talk about the core energy state – anger – which is different to feeling frustration. Frustration may also feel like anger but itโ€™s a mental state, not a core energy state. 

Anger, joy and the R-system in our brain

Anger and joy are the two core energy states that we start to experience as babies. A baby will be in the core energy state of anger when hungry and in joy when warm and asleep. This is regulated by the oldest part of our brain which is the R-System. This system controls the following:

OK, so far it is important to understand that the core energy state anger is as a result of the brain activity of the R-system, which means we have no control over it. It happens. We experience anger because it is designed to keep us safe. When anger is not channelled out in the most effective way, it can be seen as bad. 

Anger as a life force channeled into good

We are often domesticated by society and our parents to not get angry and we are told that anger is bad. However, in reality, it is a life force that can be put to good use. 

The vigilance centre in our brain controls our core energy state. This is not something we can turn off so our only alternative is to learn how to manage our core energy. 

Before we learn how to transform anger into passion, we need to also acknowledge that the conditions around us are what trigger our brain system and in tern we experience anger or joy or sadness. 

Four steps to transform anger into passion

Now, let take a look at the four steps that we can all take to transform our anger into passion. We will take a look at all four of them at a glance first and then describe how each one can be applied to real life. 

  1. Become aware that anger is not bad, adopt a positive attitude towards it. 
  2. Find a creative purpose or a useful dong to put the anger energy in it. 
  3. Put the anger energy our into the purpose
  4. Repeat this process until it becomes a habit. 

Find a useful purpose to channel your anger into creativity

So to finish this coaching tip off, we all must become aware that anger is not bad and it is the result of a brain activity. Finding a useful purpose in which to express the anger is super important so stay tuned for my next coaching tip. 

Please leave your comments below, I would love to know what you think about transforming your anger into your passion using the four steps that I have provided you. 

With love and with light

Delina

“Make a Decision for Me”: 12 Steps to Decision Making

Make A Decision For Me!

“Make a decision for me”

Did you know that the failure to make a decision is a decision in itself, albeit an indecisive one?

Do you sometimes find yourself staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep, because you have a decision to make and seem to be stuck? Do you ask anyone around you to “Make a decision for me!”? If so, this simple decision making model which outlines the stages of decision making will definitely help you out. 

12 Steps to decision making

Try these steps to decision making and ask yourself these questions to break free of your inertia.  

  1. Identify your dilemma – What is the decision that you have to make?
  2. Be aware of deadlines – When is the decision needed by?
  3. Be aware of the present – What is today’s date?
  4. Give the decision a level of importance and ask yourself if it is…   – Trivial   – Non-lethal   – Worthwhile   – Weighty   – Life Changing
  5. Rate your indecisiveness level.  Are you:   – Wishy-washy   – Neutral   – Partisan   – Mind made up
  6. What is the best-case scenario around making this decision?
  7. What is the worst-case scenario around making this decision?
  8. Identify your gut feelings about making this decision, and list the plusses and minuses of each.
  9. What is your intuitive conclusion about this decision?
  10. What is your rational conclusion about this decision?
  11. What is the decision?
  12. What are your next steps?  Now that you’ve made the decision, what is your next action?
Ask yourself questions when doing decision making

If you would like to work through your decision making process with me, schedule a call today!

How to Deal with Distress: 10 Tips

How to Deal with Distress

How to overcome distress

Distress can quickly become overwhelming and sometimes even debilitating. The following list demonstrates how to deal with distress by overcoming stressful thoughts:

  1. Failure is a part of the learning process, it does not mean that I am a failure or worthless
  2. Know that this too shall pass
  3. I am not any real danger
  4. Nobody is perfect
  5. My feelings will not kill me
  6. I have experience much worse than this and survived
  7. I am stronger than i sometimes believe I am
  8. The way that I am feeling is completely natural
  9. I am not a bad person
  10. This is an opportunity to challenge myself and grow

As you read through the list, think about your own similar thoughts that might help you to overcome distress.

Living Life On Purpose: Stop Being A Sleepwalker!

Are you living life on purpose?

Most people go through the motions of life, but they’re clueless about where they’re going.  They aren’t even sure what they want in life. The world is full of “sleepwalkers.”  Wake up my friends! 

All too often people find themselves on a life path that has been chosen by other individuals. Parents, religion, tradition or culture often heavily influence the choices we make.  Precious years, even decades can pass while we follow a course that just doesn’t feel right deep down inside.

We may be doing it because society or parents or circumstances make it appear as though this is what we “should” do.  Despite our having chosen to do the so-called “right” thing, we feel out of sorts, unhappy and disillusioned.

It is never too late to regain your bearings and rediscover your own internal “GPS.”  The first step is to dig deep and learn what you’re really about, find what is most important to you.

Afterwards, it is important to get a true and accurate reading of

  1. Where you are
  2. Where you’re going
  3. What you truly WANT

Once you have discovered what your purpose is and what you are here to accomplish, you won’t just SET goals, you will ACHIEVE those goals!

Clarity of Goals: Four Steps

Four Steps To Find Clarity

Clarity of goals

One of the main reasons people donโ€™t get what they want is that they are not clear on exactly what it is that they do want. They meander through life with vague expectations of what they would like to do or become and have an even more vague idea of how to get there.

You need to find clarity of goals. Take a moment and think back on the goals that you did achieve in life and the ones you didnโ€™t. What was the defining factor in the goals you did achieve? Most likely, those goals were clear in your mind, which is why you knew how to make them happen. 

Making clear decisions about your life and career is not a passive act. We must take an active role if we want to achieve any goals at all.

Four steps to finding clarity of goals

Here are a few steps you can take to find the clarity you need to set and achieve your goals: 

  1. Define your goals in great detail. Be clear!
  2. Make a timeline for achieving these goals.
  3. Commit to them in writing.
  4. Find someone who can hold you accountable, motivate you and support you in your goals.

Are You Missing Sales by Not UpSelling or Cross-Selling?

"Keep calm and upsell on"

85% of businesses donโ€™t take upselling opportunities and lose out on nearly 35 โ€“ 60% in additional sales revenue. Cross-selling is another factor that is easily overlooked. When this behavior changed, cross-selling amounted for another 10 โ€“ 15% of additional revenue. Up-/cross-selling is part of customer service and not a sales technique. If you don’t provide this to your clients, you rob them of the opportunity to work with you or buy the right solution from you.

Upselling is when a customer asks for a specific product or service and you establish with the customer their real needs. It might happen that the customer needs additional products or services from you together with the original items they wanted to buy. An upsell enhances the original product or service that the customer wants to buy and therefore provides more benefit to the customer.

Cross-selling is once the sale and upsell are done, you simply remind your customers of other products or services that you are offering. This is a soft-sell or information-based sell and may not result in an immediate sale. This however will allow your customer to come back to you with additional inquiries in the future (some may ask immediately about it when you mention this and may even buy). 

Informing people about anything else you offer (not every single product, make it interesting and use only one or two or summarize it in less than 30 seconds) is important for continuity of your business success.

Coaching tip: It is important to inform people about all of your offers to boost your business success.

A Coaching Session Plan: How to Prepare for a Coaching Session

Coaching Session Plan

Before a coaching session it will be helpful if you take some time to do the following:

1. Create a clearly defined outcome for your session and have it ready when you meet with your coach.

Make sure it is measurable and achievable in this session. If you are having only one session with your coach, it is wise to do this as clearly as possible before the session. If you have signed up for many sessions it is important you clearly define what you would like to achieve by the end of your coaching sessions. Your goals or objectives need to be specific, measurable and achievable. Your coach will check this with you when you arrive for the session. 

Coaching Tip: Your goals or objectives need to be specific, measurable, and achievable.

2. Be on time, relaxed and prepared

It is important to make this session about you. Remove all distractions and anything that could disturb the session. 

Coaching Tip: Before you start your coaching session with a coach, make sure you are on time, relaxed and prepared.

3. Take a minute and check your state before the session

Become present to your physical body, your current emotional state and your dominant thoughts at this point in time. 

You are now ready for your session. 

Have fun!

Coaching Tip: Check your state before the session.

Make Your Negative Thoughts Disappear (POOF!)

I have struggled with negative thoughts my whole life–even when I was feeling happy, ping! Another one would pop into my head.  I finally discovered a way of staving off these thoughts that works for me.

I went through my myriad of photos and I found one that simply brought me joy.  There was no other emotional charge to the picture than pure love and joy.  For me, it was a picture of my grandmother.  Now, here’s where it starts to sound wacky.  But I’m telling you–it works.  So I have always associated butterflies with my grandmother. 

So now when I have those dark, shocking thoughts, I immediately repeat in my head “Nana is a butterfly.  Nana is a butterfly.”  I imagine her face from that great picture attached to a butterfly body.  I know, it sounds ridiculous. But it usually only take a few seconds and it’s gone.  If you’re a Law of Attraction person, you’ll know how important it is to get the bad thought gone FAST!

So there you have it… a visual plus something from your imagination equals happy thoughts!

Your Brain on Autopilot: Cognitive Distortions 101

Our brain is composed of about 100 billion neurons. Each neuron has one to ten thousand connections to other neurons. Our brain can perform 100 trillion calculations/sec. This is a lot of processing and it requires a tremendous amount of energy.

Our brain acts as a CPU and coordinates our breathing, our movements and our thoughts. To conserve energy, the brain runs some of its tasks on automatic pilot. (For instance think about breathing; we know that air comes in and out of our nostrils without any conscious thought).

Our higher thinking processes are no exception to this rule. Our brain has constructed โ€œprogramsโ€ to process our current experience of the world based on our past experiences, upbringing, culture and background. Here are the common types of cognitive distortion:

Which cognitive distortions are running on auto-pilot in your brain?

Failures Are Stepping Stones To Success

Failures are simply stepping stones to the changes you’re working on creating in your life/success path. Everyone, even the most successful people, have had failures. The difference is how they react when the failure occurs. Do they reflect, assess and learn? Do they try something new? Does it motivate them to continue? Do they wallow in the negative feelings the failure produces? Do they give up?

Words have power. They instill emotions. If you find yourself looking at failure as a negative, relabel the word into something positive. Giving the word/action new meaning can retrain your mind from its initial reaction.

Remember, each failure brings you a step closer to success. That being the case, I ask my clients to look at a failure as a stepping stone with take away items they can learn from. This stepping stone now, becomes a gift.

Coaching questionHow did you react to your last stepping stone (ie failure)?

Focus on the Positive

Start each day with a positive thought. Push negativity to the side. Eat a healthy breakfast and get a little exercise. Help clear your mind. Definitely stop and smell the roses!

If you wake up with a million thoughts flowing through your head, close your eyes and take a deep breath! Get out of bed with the right mindset to defray any anxiety that has built up throughout the night.

Empower yourself by focusing on something positive! Everyone can find something positive, even when they are feeling low. It is about learning how to dig through the clutter and opening up to let a ray of sunshine shine in.

Many of us deal with anxiety disorders. Often, you might be surprised to learn that they are not truly anxiety attacks. What you are experiencing is actually real stress that is linked by real events in your life that cause stress. Exercise and proper nutrition can definitely help alleviate some of your dicomfort. An anxiety buddy works too!

Find something that feels good–not drugs or alcohol–and start to make positive changes to improve yourself for yourself! You wll be surprised how taking care of yourself will improve your outlook. We tend to neglect ourselves.

Be better for yourself and you will open yourself up to better relationships and experiences!

Lack of Work-Life Balance Can Literally Be Deadly!

Think that “work-life balance” is something that coaches talk about a lot because it sounds good? Think again! In Japan, people are dying from overworking themselves often enough that they have created a new word for it: Karoshi. They even have charities and organizations for the families of the victims!

So the next time you think about overworking yourself, remember to take a breather… your life may literally depend on it.

Don’t Believe Everything You Think

60,000 thoughts per day, 95% habitual

On average, we have about 60,000 thoughts per day.

Of those 60,000 thoughts, about 95% are habitual–meaning we thought them yesterday and the day before, and so on. Of those habitual thoughts, about 80% are negative, which amounts to around 45,000 negative thoughts per day!  

45,000 negative thoughts per day: What ifs

When you consider that our focus of attention is our point of attraction, it’s easy to see how we can sabotage creating what we want unless we do something to break up the negative thought patterns running in our brains.

Very often those thoughts take the form of “What ifs?”. They go something like,

We tend to go right for worst case senario.

What if UP

So, try turning it around to a “What if UP”.  For example,

You get the idea.  

This allows your brain to ask different, more productive questions. You may be surprised at how your subconscious will go to work to answer these new questions!

Allow yourself time to play with this. When you have been having habitual thoughts for a long time, it takes some practice to start easily getting into the flow of thinking differently. And most importantly–have fun with it!

Clearing and Focusing With Hakalau: A Short Guide

Hakalau focusing is a technique I use personally and with my clients, and I find it incredibly effective.

How to Generate Alpha Waves and Create an Alpha State

We spend most of our waking hours in what is called beta state. This is when we are thinking about dozens of things at one time. However, to be efficient we need to focus on one thing. In order to focus on one thing, we need to get into alpha state, or what some call the โ€œin the flowโ€ state.

To get in alpha state:

Once you have gotten into alpha state a few times, you can do it very quickly. Sometimes simply sitting up and pausing to take a deep breath will work.

Then you can go back at your task in a more focused state.

The trick is to stop when you feel your mind wandering. Instead of saying to yourself, โ€œI am terrible at focusingโ€ or โ€œI will never complete thisโ€ or other negative statements, just completely stop what you are doing, pause for a moment, take a deep breath and start again. Put yourself into alpha state whenever you have to start a task or when you feel you are losing focus and getting distracted.

~ Excerpt from my book

Re-Focusing and Loving Your Life: F.O.C.U.S. in 5 Steps

By: Adrienne MacDonald

A Killer Interview Question

I have been working with several people recently who are getting ready for an interview for a fantastic role. What can you do to make sure you stand out?

There is one question that can really give you the edge: at the very end of the interview, just before you get up to leave, ask “Do you have any reservations about my experience?”. This is quite a brave question to ask. It shows you are interested in the role, want to work for the company, that you are prepared to take constructive feedback, and crucially gives you an opportunity to respond.

In that moment, you will have a much better idea if you are going to be successful, whether you can overcome the challenge or not. Take a deep breath and leap – it may just take that final conversation in a different direction, and that may be ito your advantage!

Believe In What You Want

Life coaching quote of the day:

Believe in what you want so much that it has no choice but to materialize

What Do You Really Care About?

Ask yourself this powerful coaching question:

What do you really care about?

Sometimes You Must Hurt In Order To Know

Life coaching quote of the day:

Sometimes you must hurt in order to know, fall in order to grow, and lose in order to gain, because most of life’s greatest lessons are learned through pain.

If Your Money Could Talk What Would It Say To You?

Ask yourself this powerful coaching question:

If your money could talk what would it say to you?

If Your Fear Was Just There To Make Sure You Stayed Aware Of Possible Risks

https://lifecoachhub.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/Fear-proceed-motivational-coaching-quote.png

Ask yourself this powerful coaching question:

If your fear was just there to make sure you stayed aware of possible risks, how can you use it to proceed very carefully and safely?

How to Diffuse a Situation

We have all been in moments where we are pushed to our limits and are ready to explode. What can we do to express what we are feeling yet not create a situation that spirals out of control?

How to diffuse a situation

Most importantly, it is necessary to separate yourself from the situation at hand to calm down and view things from a realistic perspective.

How To Fix Your Relationship

Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” – Robert A. Heinlein

Think back to the start of your relationship

Think about the first time you met your partner.

Roll all of those emotions up and put it into perspective for your relationship today.

Where are you now in your relationship?

Most couples have fuzzy feelings for each other in the beginning of their relationship because it is something new. You haven’t experienced the challenges that life can bring to couples.

Attempting to balance the pressures of being a parent, student, wife/husband, employee, etc can cause issues in your relationship that will either make your connection stronger or cause division that can ultimately end a relationship that was once beautiful.

So the question is: Have you or your partner expressed that you are unhappy and what have you done to change that unhappiness?

How to fix your relationship

Positively change your behavior.

When you positively change the behavior that you exhibit towards one another then you change the negative outcomes that have occurred in your relationship.

Don’t expect immediate results.

Keep in mind that just because you did a kind act towards your partner today doesn’t mean that you have healed all of the mounds of negative feelings you helped your partner to experience over a period of time.

Be consistent.

You were consistent in showing the behavior that got you here in the first place. Now it is time to be consistent in your process to change.

  1. Show your partner that you love them enough to hear their feelings of unhappiness and you are committed to making a difference and winning back the feelings they once shared for you.
  2. Think about how long your partner has asked you to change your behavior and committ to sticking to changing that behavior and showing your partner you want your relationship, equally as long.
  3. Finally,ย love your partner past their pain. Spend timeย dailyย to show your partner how much they mean to you. Small acts of love can create longevitiy in your relationship and get your relationship back to happiness. Your partner only feels the negative acts that you have shown them so love them through this pain and help them to see who they fell in love with.

This road is not easy but is very rewarding. Stick it out. I believe in love and I believe in you!

How to Improve Communication Skills

In this video I’ll share with you an important technique for how to improve communication with your partner. Communication skills are at the heart of relationships, and active listening can make the difference between getting along and giving up. Follow this tutorial on active listening to learn how to improve communication skills with your partner! It’s always easier said than done of course, so if you have any questions, please feel free to contact me.

Clutter Coaching: The “Touch it Once” Rule

There’s lots of types of clutter and lots of ways it can pile up.  The Touch It Once strategy works well for keeping down mail clutterโ€” either paper mail or e-mail. 

Paper mail

Here’s how it works for paper mail:

When you get around to reading your mail,

  1. open up one piece
  2. read what you need to read,
  3. write out any bill and put in return envelope
  4. file the bill for later mailing or put it in your out-going mail pile right away
  5. file any other important papers, etc.
  6. toss the rest
  7. repeat with the next piece of mail

Email

The principle works basically the same for e-mail:

  1. open up an e-mail
  2. read what you need to
  3. record/save what you need for later
  4. delete

That’s it. Touch each piece once, deal with it, and presto! no clutter plus more time and energy to work on the things that are really important to you in your life.

There may be other applications for this strategy, but I’ll leave it for you to figure out where you can apply it in your daily life.

Follow The 80/20 Rule

Life coaching quote of the day:

Follow the 80/20 rule. 20% of your time produces 80% of your results. Don’t waste your time trying to get the last 20% done perfectly.

Trust Activities: Create a Circle of Trust

Create a circle of trust.

Trust activities: Who do you trust?

One of the many resources I use when coaching is ‘the circle of trust’.    

So many people get upset when relatives or friends do not act in the way they think they should. By creating a circle of trust you begin to see where relationships fit and create a circle of trust around you.

Steps to creating a circle of trust

  1. Draw a circle and then circles around the circle going outwards. Your inner circle should always have you in the middle. Look at all the people around you and begin to place them around you in the circles according to how much you trust them.
  2. You should end up with a small group in the middle with you, and then others will appear in circles according to how you place them.ย This means that you now know who you trust and the others you can have relationships with knowing how they fit into your life.
  3. Check the circle from time to time. People change, life changes and your circle with change.

If you want more help with this, just contact me.

Keep Your Cool When You Communicate

It’s important to keep yourself and others calm during communication instead of responding emotionally.

When you start to feel an emotional response to what someone is saying, assume they have a positive intention behind what they are saying or doing. Identify that positive intent and acknowledge it before you respond.

This keeps you calm because you are focussing on them and on the matter at hand, while at the same time diffusing their raw emotions, since you are helping them feel heard.

“What job is for me?” Choosing your YES career

Choose your YES career

There are people out there doing things and working jobs just because they’re good at them.

Yeah, you may be great at filing, counting, and scheduling… but are you meant to be a receptionist? I bet not. I bet you’re much more valuable and creative.

Start doing something that gives you the “YES” feeling, even if you’re not good at it. The only thing that matters is that it feels right, it empowers you, it strengthens you.

Following that yes feeling and where it leads…

I once read an article about a woman who quit her 6 figure Wall Street career because of a lunch meeting of where she really experienced her love of wine for the first time.

She quit to work in a wine boutique and made less than $30,000 a year. She knew nothing about wine.

Now, only a few years later, she is a Master of Wine, a blogger, and making more than $5 million a year doing something she loves, something that felt right.

Where will your yes feeling lead you?

Where will your YES feeling lead you? Let me know in the comments below.

Follow your YES feeling in choosing career

Be Good To Your Body And Thank It

Life coaching quote of the day:

Be good to your body and thank it for all the millions of things it does for you every day without you even trying.

Your Greatest Wisdom Comes From Embracing Your Mistakes

Life coaching quote of the day:

Your greatest wisdom comes from embracing your mistakes.

The Hardships That I Encountered In The Past Will Help Me Succeed In The Future

Life coaching quote of the day:

The hardships that i encountered in the past will help me succeed in the future.

Always Do Your Best. What You Plant Now, You Will Harvest Later

Life coaching quote of the day:

Always do your best. What you plant now, you will harvest later.

What If It Works Out Exactly As You Want It To?

Ask yourself this powerful coaching question:

What if it works out exactly as you want it to?

Let It Go And Let It Be

Life coaching quote of the day:

Let it go and let it be

Beautiful Pictures Develop From Negatives In A Dark Room

Life coaching quote of the day:

Beautiful pictures develop from negatives in a dark room…. So if you see a darkness in your life, be reassured that a beautiful picture is being prepared

Your Present Circumstances Don’t Determine Where You Can Go

Life coaching quote of the day:

Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start.

Start Small. Every Goal Can Be Broken Down Into Small Steps

Life coaching quote of the day:

Start small. Every goal can be broken down into small steps. Commit to just one small step on the path and you’re on your way to success.

If You Want To Feel Rich Just Count All The Things You Have That Money Can’t Buy

Life coaching quote of the day:

If you want to feel rich just count all the things you have that money can’t buy.

Leap, And The Net Will Appear

Life coaching quote of the day:

Leap, and the net will appear.

I Know For Sure That What We Dwell On Is Who We Become

Life coaching quote of the day:

I know for sure that what we dwell on is who we become.

Accept your past without regrets

Life coaching quote of the day:

Accept your past without regrets, handle your present with confidence, and face your future without fear.

Crying Doesn’t Indicate That You Are Weak

Life coaching quote of the day:

Crying doesn’t indicate that you are weak. Ever since you were born it’s been a sign that you are alive.

You Become What You Believe

Life coaching quote of the day:

You become what you believe.

Anger Is An Acid That Can Do More Harm

Life coaching quote of the day:

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.

What Is Your Desired Outcome?

Ask yourself this powerful coaching question:

What is your desired outcome?

What Would Be Your Ideal Career If You Could Do Anything?

powerful life coaching question

Ask yourself this powerful coaching question:

What would be your ideal career- If you could do anything?

To Connect to Another Person, Listen With Your Heart

The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen with your heart.

What are some ways you can start listening with your heart to those you want to connect to?

Life is What You Make It, So Make It Good

What are you going to do to make your lifeย goodย today?

Make your Words More Powerful Through Positive Gestures

Most of the time we remain at best semi-conscious of our own body language and the signals it sends out to others. The result is that we are unaware of the subliminal messages we send out, that often contradict the message we are attempting to convey in words.

There is nothing worse than trying to engage someone verbally whilst your body language indicates that you are bored or disinterested! You can make your verbal communication more powerful by being consciously aware of your own posture and tone whilst speaking, and by reinforcing what you say with positive gestures.

How to Stop Hating your Job

There are a lot of reasons why you may hate your job like poor management, atrocious hours, or being poorly suited for the work; if any of these are the case, it probably is just time for a change.

For many, however, poor work/life balance makes them dislike work.

To stop hating your work, you probably need some time away from it, and you may need to use up some vacation time or sick time to get on track. Otherwise, start scheduling more time for you to live your life and use less time to push papers.

Tweet your Way to a New Career

Social media applications, and especially Twitter, offer an incomparable opportunity to develop a wide professional network, meet new people and find new career opportunities.

The first step is to fill your feed with relevant people. For instance, many of the executives and HR personnel at the companies you wish to work for will have Twitter feeds. Follow them, and when the opportunity comes up, reply to their tweets and re-tweet their messages.

Alternatively, search for a career path, such as โ€˜oil and gasโ€™ and select people from the left hand menu. Within a short time you will know of the important people within your chosen field, and will have begun to get your own name into circles that will help in your new career.

Top Tools for Better Time Management

There are lots of time management tools, and if you want to stay on top of things, you should start using these. A calendar or other schedule is vital, but if you want to make the most of your time, try:

Your Money Issue Could be a Poor Work/Life Balance

Not having enough money is a big problem!

While overspending, bad budgeting, and misfortune often cause financial difficulties, a work/life balance that is misaligned could be the real problem.

If you arenโ€™t working enough (or doing work that is substantial), you may have way too much time to spend your earnings. Try to scoop up more hours, a part time position, or a completely new job to get back on balance and put more money back into your pocket.

Pay Greater Attention to Non-verbal Signals

We have become accustomed to a verbal culture in our communications in the west and have grown to assume that we will be judged solely on the way we speak and the words we use.

This is not true, and non-verbal communication remains a powerful, if unspoken means of communication.

People communicate information in many non-verbal ways, so pay close attention to their gestures, body language, tone of voice and facial expressions. By habitually doing this you will learn a lot about your own body language, and how to control this in order to improve your communication skills.

Don’t Count on Happily Ever After Even After you Achieve your Career Dream

Even if you actualize your dream, it wonโ€™t necessarily be sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows.  This is one of the great drawbacks of the notion of the โ€œAmerican Dream.โ€ Once you get that dream job, you still have to work.  

Even the biggest celebrities and successful entrepreneurs still put in the occasional 12+ hour day that makes them second guess whether this was the right career for them. Itโ€™s normal to ask that question, even if you โ€œmake it.โ€

But the most telling sign is whether, after asking that question, you can pick yourself up by the bootstraps the next morning and do it all again.

Building Relationships in Retirement

It can be a distressing thought that finishing your working life may mean an end to your work based social life.

However, retirement doesn’t need to be a lonely place. In fact if you think through your interests and passions, perhaps with the aid of a retirement coach, you can quickly meet new people online. Facebook, Twitter, even Friends Reunited as well as specialist forums and networks open up a whole new world of friendships if you want them to.

Action step: Why not have a quick Google and see what networks you can find?

Get a Career Role Model

Find someone who did what you want to do, and do what they did.  

If you were driving, and someone told you a direct way to get to a destination, you wouldnโ€™t intentionally meander on another winding path.  So why should you do that for the path of your career?  

Do your research and find people, whether on the internet, television, or elsewhere, who have managed to actualize your dream.  Once you do that, the process is as simple as lather, rinse, repeat.